Out Of Luck

kurt.

“I promise.”  He said softly.  Kurt couldn’t describe how great it felt that he could calm Blaine down.  That he was allowed to hold him like this.  He wondered if it would be more poetic or humorous if he were an undead creature, how his heart seemed to stop when Blaine kissed him. Technically he might be, depending on the definition. He was killed but brought back as something else. He had a heart and a pulse just the same as any living creature. A different kind, but it was there. This was something he usually thought about in his spare time, not a serious situation. But honestly, when he felt Blaine cupping his face it was just so familiar it was heartbreaking.

Blaine wasn’t the last person he’s kissed anymore until that moment. Interesting from a distance how he could not only leave without a word but let himself be with someone else. If it crossed his mind then he’d be guilty, but he was hardly thinking for the time being aside from a simple ‘Don’t thank me’– He wasn’t lying but he might not be the right person to be here for Blaine.  At this point it might be entirely selfish.  That wasn’t about to stop him.  He already was here.  If he was going to keep his distance then he wouldn’t have come at all.  This might not be good for either of them.  Mostly, this might do more damage than good for Blaine.  What was going to happen when he asked questions the next time?  How many details would he have to tell him?  Lying, and cheating, and dying and killing- maybe what went through his head during any given part of the story.  It was a long story.

He did miss Blaine.  He missed when this felt like home.  Kurt didn’t have a person to call that as things are.  Holding Blaine was like sleeping in his old room again; he wanted to be there but it was strangely…Crushing.

Red-laced hazel eyes softened at Kurt’s promise, staring up into the eyes that his brain refused to think of anything other than familiar.  In spite of how they changed–Blaine was getting awfully good at lying to himself and pretending hard enough that he could believe what he convinced himself of to get by.  His fingers curled against Kurt’s cheeks gliding his knuckles in a tender caress down the sides of his neck until they dropped to his shoulders.  There were so many questions teetering on the fragile tightrope inside his mind that he walked across.  But–in the end–he couldn’t bring himself to ask them because he wasn’t sure he could take the answers.  Not yet.  Not now.  Not when he had Kurt’s arms still around him and that unending sway.

Instead–he clutched onto Kurt and let the weight of months of ache, worry, and losing his mind slide away.  It could be the most dangerous thing he could do–sure.  Falling back into the gravity that he lost when Kurt disappeared though?  It wasn’t something he wanted to fight.  He’d been waiting for so long for this.  Now, he had it.  Another brush of lips against the edge of Kurt’s then Blaine tucked his head down.  Exhaling hard–he sagged against him and stayed there savoring how their chests rose and fell.  His weight Kurt supported increased little by little over the span of minutes.  The more he let go of the exhaustion he’d been holding back, the heavier it sank in just how much was waiting to catch up.  He could fall asleep on his feet this felt so warm and perfect and–

He sharply sniffed, blinking back awake.  Was he really drifting off?  –No. Wake up.  You just got him back.  Wake up!– “Sorry–I’m awake.”  Was it weird that an old bad habit of shaking off sleep was something that made him smile lazily because he let it?   In comparison to not being able to?  That this felt so much better.  In the past?  Before Kurt left?  It was because he wanted their time together to not end.  Be it cuddling, talking–other things. Blaine leaned back enough that he could look up at Kurt’s jaw as another wave of sleep lost the battle against his willpower but his legs feeling like they were in cement?  Not so much.  “Can we just lay down?”