elliott.

“Blaine,” he sighed, moving in his seat to lean forwards properly, a hand going to the others forearm and giving a squeeze – he wasn’t sure if he was trying to reassure him or try to apologise in part for what he’d just said. “Please don’t take that the wrong way. I didn’t mean it like that.” His opinion hadn’t changed, he still thought they made and amazing couple and he would continue to think that. Hell, if he was the jealous type when it came to relationships they would be at the top of his list, they really had it going for them.

“It’s just that, there’s a big difference between dating and getting married. It’s a really big commitment to make – hell I wouldn’t even consider it now, and I’m a few years older.” Even with his steady boyfriend a few years ago, it had been out of the question. “I do support you both – absolutely so – it’s just that I feel this is a bad idea at the moment.” He didn’t want to upset Blaine, or Kurt by extension, but with how suffocating the city could be, he felt marriage was a bad idea to add on top of that.

He felt his heart sinking deeper and he wasn’t sure anymore if Elliott’s advice was the main cause.  There were so many warning signs that he and Kurt were rushing too fast.  That maybe there were issues underlying their engagement that they needed to work on still.  Kurt’s excitement when they daydreamed about their wedding–or any mention of the word, really, no matter who’s wedding it was–used to be so over the top.  Colors, music, themes, delighted clapping while Kurt bounced on his feet gushing so much Blaine couldn’t get a word in.  That’s how beautifully excited his fiance’ used to get. Lately?  Getting a word out of him about a guest list seemed to give Kurt a migraine or to automatically start grinding his teeth together.  

Just stress.  Too much nervousness now that the reality of his own wedding was drawing near. So?  Blaine countered it by taking on the bulk of the responsibility in hopes that Kurt would catch up after getting a break to get his excitement back and realize everything was going to be okay. Hearing someone else say otherwise peeled his blinders back too far.  So far that his arm retracted from Elliott’s touch and both were wrapped around his middle.  Chin tucked down–Blaine shrugged and stared at the cheap lacquer on the tabletop.  “I know there’s a difference. But it’s not a bad idea.  Nothing about Kurt and I is a bad idea,” his throat struggled to swallow and he was getting too defensive.  Too caved in on himself for it to be solely a reaction to well meaning advice.  “We’ve made it through too much to give up on our future now.  A-And I’m not going to let that happen.  I can’t.”