knew..?

                 ^{Blaine’s fingers dancing through his hair weighted Sebastian into his sleep even more than the alcohol ever could. If he’d been awake sober enough to appreciate this, he might not have enjoyed it as freely as he did then. He’d felt it. He’d felt it back when they’d met the very first time. And finally, now, he did once more. Blaine was home. Blaine was where he was supposed to be. From all the fancy places he’d lived, none of them, had even got CLOSE to feeling like that. Sebastian felt something quiet down inside him again. Like the quiet breath of pieces coming into place. The same settling in he’d felt before and another. A new one that came from how out of place he’d been after Blaine’d been ripped away from him, by his own actions. It was always on the back of his mind, an echo of hurt. And the sudden disappearance had tugged him awake more than the car bump. It felt wrong, like he SHOULD be still feeling it, be still hurting. Hence the question. He watched Blaine’s face, hazily as the other struggled to respond. His eyelids fluttering at the touch on his forehead, before he forced his gaze to focus. His expression serious, and as Blaine talked, his eyes widened. Did Blaine really mean it?? Did he actually think that about him?? Blaine had said he was done with him. And Sebastian wasn’t used to second chances. He didn’t have relationships that LASTED. A relationship where he could try again. Where he should try again. All this time he thought it was over, but what Blaine said now, made him breathe in sharply. He went quiet for a moment, but not like last time. Still stupefied as he looked at Blaine. His lips touched the corner of Blaine’s before he could even think, even though the movement was soft, as he lifted himself to it. The press was warm and slow, and he bumped his forehead forward as a rough murmur batted Blaine’s jaw. “Thank you, Blainers.” He closed his eyes, an overwhelming relief rolling down his back. “I knew it.” He knew it. He knew Blaine and him were meant to be something.}

Seeing how what he said to the man in his arms affected him so deeply–Blaine couldn’t help but feel a prick and then a scratch of guilt claw at his insides.  He’d left Sebastian wondering for far too long.  Cut him off and turned his back putting on a friendly front in the end and even forgiving him without saying the actual words.  Things were never the same though.  The closeness–that Blaine wondered if he’d made up and was the sole person who felt it in their darkest hours–never came back to the way it was before.  Maybe that was his fault more than Sebastian’s.  Distance was safer.  Less room for anyone to get hurt if mistakes were made again.  But–here they were.  Years later.  Blaine being the one that Sebastian knew he could call on when he was in a rough spot.  Not that he did very often.  Tonight was an exception and Blaine was glad it was.  Their conversation might be one-sided drunk but he hoped that what he was saying sank in and lasted past the morning.  In spite of all the muck and mud and blood under the bridge.  Not being there for Sebastian wasn’t possible.  Hating him was even less of a possibility than being absent from his life completely.  Sebastian being drunk for Blaine to get it out?  Might’ve been just what Blaine needed to have the courage to say when he needed to say.  His breath hitched when he felt the press of lips against the corner of his mouth.  From the simple contact–his whole body came to life.  A spiderweb of light that began in such a tiny, but so very intimate place and ran through every limb down to the fingers that flexed in Sebastian’s hair and against his cheek to the toes that curled and pressed into the soles of his shoes. The thunk of Sebastian’s forehead against the side of his made him smile–his tongue catching the corner of it to steal the aftertaste of where Sebastian’s kiss was and he felt the world spin. “You’re welcome, Seb.”  They turned onto Sebastian’s street but he couldn’t wait until they were out of the cab to sate his curiosity.  “Knew what,” his whisper touched Sebastian’s chin and Blaine let his guard down enough to stay right where he was.  Holding him this close, skin to skin.  Breath to breath.