rachel.

Rachel knew there was nothing to apologize for. Not
considering the situation they were in, and yet she felt like she had to
apologize, because Blaine was affected by this as much as she was and yet he
found the strength to somehow support her, and Kurt too.

Sometimes Rachel still couldn’t believe that Finn was gone.
They might not have been a couple, and maybe they wouldn’t have become one
again either, but they would have always had a special connection with each
other and it would have worked out one way or another.

That chance had been taken from them though and Rachel
couldn’t deal with that. She held onto Blaine tightly, sobbing into his
shoulder until it felt as if she had no more tears to spend. She sighed,
exhausting taking over as she slumped against him.

“Thank you…” She finally whispered, the answer to something
said minutes ago. “And…maybe.” She couldn’t promise that she´d get out of the
apartment. She had taken two weeks off NYADA, starting when they had all gone
back to Lima to celebrate Finn´s life, but one week was already done and when she
had returned to New York neither her nor Kurt had left the apartment.

Rachel sighed again, pulling back slightly, but still
holding on to Blaine. “Do you…want to make some tea?”

Blaine was doing his best to hold it together for both their sakes and he thought he was doing a pretty good job of it until Rachel started to sob into his shoulder.  That’s when he couldn’t hold back. Tears beaded at the corners of shut eyes before they fell into the dark chestnut strands of hair he was nuzzled down into.

Keeping his breathing steady as possible, he traced circles between her shoulders with one hand.  Not letting go, not even for a beat, he cried with her as quietly as he could.  When she calmed and went still, her weight drew him out of it far enough that the tears came to an end. 

“You’re welcome,” his voice was uneven but he nodded taking what he could get as far as his idea that they should all go out.  “I’ll take a maybe.  A maybe is a lot better than a no.”

Closing his hands over both of hers and leaning back, Blaine rested her palms against his chest letting her feel the warmth there.  Thumbs ran back and forth over the edges of her palms. “Yeah.  I can do that,” a kiss was pressed to her forehead, “Wait here.”

The heels of his palms dug into the hollows of his eyes as he walked to the kitchen and fought the urge to cry the whole way there.  His pieces were glued together flimsily, no way would he be able to do it again before he had to go back to her.  Splashing water from the sink up to wash his face before filling the kettle and fixing their mugs just right, he pressed the button and waited. Agonizing minutes later, the kettle shut itself off and he returned to her side of the bed, speaking softly in case she fell asleep. “Tea’s ready..  You sure you don’t want a snack, too?”