sebastian felt like his lips were duct-taped, and somewhere inside his head, something was screaming, but nothing ever came out. all those little things he might had wanted to say to the other, running around his head in loops, weren’t even allowed to be thought of most of the time. sebastian couldn’t dwell on them, much less say any of them out loud. anything he said would put an end to this, whatever that was (friendship?). and anything that put an end to having blaine exactly where he was, around him, wasn’t something he was prepared to do or say. after those two years, he still couldn’t believe his luck that blaine would even talk to someone like him. and if THIS, whatever it was, was all he got, then he was thankful.
he’d never been one for half truths, or polite remarks. as blaine well knew from their first up conversation, straight-forward had always been his way. but ever since the whole mess between them had gone down, and blaine had barely even wanted to see him again, sebastian had started lying. something that, contrary to popular belief, he didn’t do unless it was towards authority figures, or for rumor fun. specially not with a smile and a dismissive attitude. but THAT boy. the one that – now – only hit on blaine to make him feel better, and listened, and welcomed him any time he wanted into his door, without expecting anything back, that boy was the boy blaine needed, and to be quite honest, sebastian would have tap-danced naked on wall street if blaine had needed him to. and so he lied. easily and on stride. because that was what their relationship had become the last year. blaine talked, and he lied. it was a derisive routine they liked to follow, and sebastian wasn’t about to break it. because at least it meant blaine was there to be lied TO.
blaine was going to get enough crap from the muppets and their loud, loud, leader, once that blew up, as he knew it would, since none of them could keep their private lives, private. he didn’t need any from him too. blaine needed neutral ground. and sebastian would give it to him, and whatever else that could possibly make this better.
❝no way you know what your booty call style will be forty years from now, killer. i’ll bet five hundred on you staying the hottest of all.’ he winked. he wished he could be his young self meeting blaine THEN. maybe older blaine would like him. at least for a couple of nights. he shook away the stray thought, then smiled at the other. ‘who needs a spank bank when we got THIS?’ he asked, as he found the first captain america movie and put it to play. ‘i can grab us ice cream, if you’re too hungry to wait.’ he proposed. biting the inside of his lip as he saw blaine getting so comfortable in his home.
a twinge of longing in his lungs.
Bare toes peeked out from the edge of the blanket once he finally got it and the pillows he rested back against–sitting with his legs stretched out across the mattress to be as comfy as possible–perfectly in place. Blaine wriggled them back and forth and watched them move instead of looking up immediately. It was a means of grounding himself and battling past the idea that he should leave once and for all. He managed to shut down the afterthought of how long it was proper to stay as soon as stopped. A jumbled brain was what he came here to escape…and he was making a mess out of the attempt at this rate.
A half-hearted laugh, embarrassedly flattered as always though, scrunched the edges of his eyes together as he dared to unglue his eyes from his toes and fix his attention back on Sebastian. “Me? Are you serious? Highly doubtful. I’d take that bet if there was any way to prove it. I mean, we’re going to disagree on who the winner is. I’d say it was you. You’d say it was me. We’d argue. No one would ever get the pay out. Plus? Who gets to be the judge? But…,” he sighed and pulled the covers up to pool around his waist not realizing he’d been fidgeting with the edge of the blanket this entire time until he moved his hands. Of course that nervous habit was stopped the very second he was conscious of it and he took to smoothing out the plush cotton underneath his fingers instead. “Thank you..,” his head bowed in a curt nod.
Then his face went pink and he stuttered for a second, not expecting wank bank to come at him out of the blue. That was Sebastian though! Zipping both of them back to their usual dynamic. As unusual of a friendship as it was, Blaine cherished whatever they were together for that reason above all others. Sebastian could be trusted to drive a wrench into the cogs of a failing machine right before it fell apart. Especially when that machine was Blaine’s brain, wits. Whatever. “I..,” his cheeks puffed right before a woosh of an exasperated breath was blown through puckered lips. “Um. Exactly. Cap provides all of that that you need.” And the boy who could throw around masturbation topics like discussing the weather to his boyfriend a year ago dissolved into a bumbling mess with wank bank. Why? ..Why ask or even think of why? Dangerous path best left untrodden..
“I think I’m okay. With the amount of food we have coming? I should probably wait until after it’s here.” Food seemed like such a far away idea that he completely forgot about til here. Waking up in New York City after what happened, the phone messages, the begging that went unanswered and..the flight home. He’d been numb all day. Eating was the furthest thing from his mind and nothing sounded good anyway. Not even the peanuts that were waiting for him in his seat. Sebastian bringing it up reminded him. Sure, he might be a little hungry now. Maybe starving if he focused on it but he could wait a while longer. “Some more water would be great. Or tea? Tea would be even better. And then maybe you could get comfortable, too? You don’t have to helicopter over me. I promise. I’m not running out the door,” he gave him a crooked smile again and gave the mattress a pat right beside his hip. “And if you stay standing there? I’m going to get a crick in my neck on top of everything. It’s really not fair how tall you are. Have I told you that lately?” It was his attempt to show him he was more okay than he actually was. A joke. A means of making the fretting boy smile. That’s what he needed to see the most.
Just to know that he hadn’t made another colossal mistake.
pianokeysandbowties back up 