sebastian.

                                                 none of what blaine was imagining had ever passed through sebastian’s head. honestly, sebastian wasn’t used to think of things from that angle. to ever think of someone taking advantage of him. he never had, and honestly the thought would have made him laugh. even when he was younger and he’d gone out to bars seeking older men he never thought of it that way. he was usually the one after people, which was why his thoughts went first to if HE had done something wrong. and when blaine said it like that, it clicked. blaine WASN’T mad at him at sebastian for kissing him. and that was all that mattered to him. 

his heart was throbbing. his eyes darkened with so many piled up emotions he could barely breathe or see clearly. vision hazed with the weight of years of untold things and unquenched needs. all that time he had spent convincing himself blaine didn’t want him and never would, convincing himself that he would never be good enough to be wanted by blaine. and now… all he saw was blaine as he stared ahead, the boy he’d loved for so long in bright colors, and the rest of the world, a blur. he had kissed blaine. blaine had kissed him back. 

when sebastian moved, it was like a whirlwind. he strolled through the kitchen, pushing the box of eclairs aside so abruptly it tumbled off, but he didn’t even pause, didn’t even notice, couldn’t have. he grabbed blaine’s clothes like he could tear them apart, lunged him forward hard, and crashed with blaine. crashed him with his mouth, crashed him with chest and teeth, and with his need. crashed him with all the things he had always wanted to say and that had left him hoarse, stuck in his throat for so long. crashed him with his aching relief, and barely there hope. hope that blaine wouldn’t push him away this time. that just THIS TIME blaine would kiss him back like he said he had, and sebastian would FINALLY know what that felt like. what being kissed by blaine felt like. 

blaine’s shirt scrapped his palm with the need of  his burying nails, sebastian’s tongue swiped refined sugar and cream from blaine’s lips, and the next step blaine gave forward, sebastian had him with an arm around his lower back. i got you. he had got blaine for the last four years. he breathed hard, chest pushing outwardly against the hands over it, and a shudder came over him when blaine actually made a sound. and then he was being kissed back. 

sebastian let go of his shirt and grabbed his face with the same need as his heart exploded. he pulled back only to change sides and kiss him deeper, fit them better, press them harder. his closed eyelids fluttered and his eyebrows were screwed together so tight they hurt, his breath quickly leaving him for blaine’s lips. sebastian stopped. 

he opened his green eyes at blaine just enough to look at him, at his beautiful face, closer than sebastian had ever been before. and then he started to lean in again, eyes weighing closed once more as he repressed their lips with the gentlest of pressures, carefully pushing blaine’s lips apart with his own to lace them, and sucking slowly. his thumb ran the line of his cheek bone. if this was the only kiss he was ever gonna get, he wanted to do this right. 

The world was a dizzying spin around the two of them that stole Blaine’s sense of gravity and tethered it to the arm that fit snuggly around his waist.  He has me.  He’s always had me.  But never once like this.  Drunken kiss in the car aside?  For four years, Blaine never once caved. Never once let himself cross that line with the man who made him so confused and tongue tied. Unsteady and unsure of everything he thought he wanted with one simple stare, voice that dug it’s way into his very bones and a devilish smile that quickened his pulse.  But made everything else feel like it stopped to stare longer than he should ever stare at someone who looked at him like that. 

So, Sebastian’s hold was exactly what he craved and it came at the exact time when he was sure that if he didn’t have it?  He’d be floating off to outer space without a single hope of coming back down again.  All because of one simple kiss that left him blindly drifting away and falling into the taste of Sebastian’s mouth against his, his breath brushing along his cheek and the way he held him steady when he needed it most.

Blaine’s fingers began to shake.  Even as he held two fistfuls of Sebastian’s shirt clenched into them so tight it’d be wrinkled when he finally let go.  The soft sound he’d made when their mouths first connected melted away into something lower, caught between a breath out between the cracks of their mouths so he could swallow more air and the tease of the groan that was building up desperately inside the pit of his stomach.  One that escaped when Blaine couldn’t hold it in anymore.  And it drifted from deep inside him into Sebastian’s mouth where his tongue ached to explore even deeper.  

He took his time catching up to Sebastian’s demand and need, enough that he still hadn’t tasted him completely before Sebastian’s hands were on his face and Blaine was on his tiptoes, not realizing they were nearly stepping on the tips of Sebastian’s with how close he’d gotten.  The pause drew his eyes barely open as his kiss began to match Sebastian’s depth and ache, two slivers of hazel and gold cracking to stare in a daze up through the veil of thick, dark lashes at Sebastian’s lips as if he had some supernatural power to make them come back with just a glance.  This couldn’t end.  Who knew when it would happen again?  

Sebastian Smythe could get inside his head.  Blaine always thought he could but never would admit to such a thing.  Too much power handed over to someone who might run away with it and leave him wondering how he might ever get it back and knowing full well Sebastian wouldn’t let it go if he gave it to him or should he let his guard completely down long enough for him to steal it.  And he already has before…  So say the sleepless nights spent after their conversations where he laid staring at the shadows on his ceiling trying to piece together how one person–a person he wasn’t even with–could make him question so much while seeming to give him so many answers to others he didn’t want to admit were there.  

He did it just now too.  Lulling Blaine’s eyes closed as he felt him draw nearer in time with Sebastian’s opening leaving Blaine unaware he was being looked at as his lips parted, expecting and waiting and…  Then they were taken again, nudged open and they fell apart so easily with a cant of his head and a shudder that ran all the way to his toes as his cheek was caressed and he felt Sebastian sucking against his mouth.  Blaine yielded to it, slipping his tongue inside to graze against Sebastian’s and flick against the roof of his mouth.  A shock of electricity moved through his veins and his hands lifted up, the tips of his fingers danced over Sebastian’s hairline before their long lengths buried into his hair.  Deeper still and he was certain he tasted heaven there. His heart banged against his rib cage like a hammer and he didn’t care he couldn’t breath anymore.  Or about moving as slow when his hands tightened into fists, pulled Sebastian’s mouth tighter.  

Please..don’t stop.  Not yet.  If a moment could last forever.  Now would be a good time..