catching up.

The very reason he had to have this conversation alone; that name.  Years spent around and then living with Iris and Joe, Barry was smart enough to not create a fake life and use his real name with it.  One search and it all would have come crashing down.  Now he’s not sure if he should correct Blaine or leave it be, wondering what the odds are that they see each other again after this.  But god he’s missed that aura of positivity.

“Oh no- don’t worry about it.”  He hurried to say.  Barry smiles back- smiles, not smirking like was basically his default in high school.  There were at least two options with this conversation that he had no time to think about, otherwise he’d be fine catching up with an old friend – even if he did try to take said old friend away from friend’s boyfriend – but as it is, he’s clueless and nervous and shoving his hands in his pockets before he can start picking at his nails.

“It’s-”  Barry, not Sebastian. “it’s good to see you too.  What’re you doing here?  In town, I mean.  Obviously..”  And this was just going so well.  Barry rubs the back of his neck and hopes he’s coming off more casual than he thinks he is.

Blaine couldn’t take his eyes off that familiar face he’d missed much more than he realized now that they were standing face to face again.  Sebastian was a good friend in spite of the mistakes that happened between the two of them resulting in a distance Blaine didn’t know how to stop from growing wider before it was too late.

On top of that?  He may not want to admit to it but Sebastian was one of those people who might always be the definition of what if.  A whole string of them that had Blaine looking a little too hard at him before he cut his thoughts loose and focused on the present rather than the past.  Was Sebastian nervous?  Blaine’s stare casually dropped to Sebastian’s hands as the other shoved them in his pockets and then quickly met his eyes again, his own lighting up as he rocked back on his heels happy to hear Sebastian was just as glad to see him.

“I live here.  Have for a while now.  I came here for school and never left.  I don’t think I could see myself anywhere else.”  He waved off any further explanation knowing if you got him talking about the city that he loved–he might never stop.  Genuine bewilderment tugged his lips into a smile at the very corner before he dropped them open and took in a sharp breath exhaling it in an ‘ahh?’.  “The real question is–what are you doing here?”

Druken Kisses II Puck & Blaine

puck.

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“I had fun too!” Puck nodded his head. “Yeah, sure. That’s a good idea, Blaine. I’ll be right back.” Getting up from the couch, he slowly walked over to his kitchen. He’d been drunk enough times to know that if he walked too quickly, he’d fall over. He definitely wasn’t trying to embarrass himself in front of Blaine. After grabbing two water bottles from the fridge, he made his way back to the couch. “Here ya go,” he told the other male, handing him a bottle before sitting back down on the couch. After opening the bottle and drinking from it, he looked over at Blaine. “If I tell you something, do you promise not to tell anyone? Not even Kurt?” He bit his lip. Was he really going to tell the other teen the truth? That he had in fact enjoyed the make out session and wanted to kiss him again? Was he crazy? Probably. But he felt like he could trust Blaine, a feeling he didn’t feel with most of his friends.

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Blaine gave the rest of the living room a subtle glance as Puck disappeared into the kitchen. You could learn a lot about a person by seeing what they were surrounded with. He smiled at the guitar propped up in the corner and the few pictures that were dotted around the room.  That and it was an easy way to not let his thoughts get the best of him.  Mainly the ones that’d come up later when he thought back to how he managed to think it was a good idea to just plaster one right on Puck’s mouth like no big deal!  Brilliant idea drunk!Blaine!  Absolutely brilliant!  Even though they seemed to be past that?  Giving himself a roll of the eyes now that he was alone for the first time was only gut instinct.  Back to a lazy smile when Puck returned–Blaine leaned up out of his corner and took the water with a grateful nod.  “Thank you,” he twisted the cap off only getting a few sips before Puck’s question.  A brow lifted and he shrugged.  “Sure.  I promise I won’t tell anyone.  Not even Kurt.  What’s on your mind?”

@samevvns said: “i fucked up, why do you not care?”

hurt meme. aka bring on the pain

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“Because everyone makes mistakes, Sam.”  Blaine leaned in against his elbows and studied the blonde closely.  The way Sam was tearing himself up wasn’t fair.  Not over something so small in the grand scheme of things.  If they were counting mistakes as a means of judging who you are as a person?  Blaine would consider himself bottom-of-the-barrel.  And it was Sam who was doing his best to build him up.  Now it was Blaine’s turn to return the favor. “You’re such a good person.  One of the best.  We’re not leaving this room until I am sure you believe it.”

santana.

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         well, if we’re being BRUTALLY honest, i only listened to like, less than half of what you said so you might wanna start over…

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       “Okay..  In the shorter, much more abridged version of what I just said?  All I am saying is if you want something bad enough–you shouldn’t let anyone stop you.  You live by that philosophy ninety-nine percent of the time.  So what is holding you back now?  Wait.  Don’t tell me you’re nervous?”

sebastian.

With the poker he moved around some of the wood to make sure it would last as long as possible without too much interference. The very warmth felt so good upon his now naked torso. Looking back at Blaine he smiled brightly. “I am. If you don’t mind of course,” he nodded, in reference to himself being shirtless. Hearing the pitch of Blaine’s voice was amusing nonetheless. How adorable of him to react in such a way.

Sebastian reached out to grab the pillow with a singular hand. Sebastian figured he’d help Blaine to set up. Helping to flat out some of the blankets and placing his pillow he laid down. Patting the spot next to him he rested on his side. “Get ready to get your cuddle on, killer.” A chuckle filled the air.

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He handed the pillow over and smiled “Of course I don’t mind.  Make yourself as comfortable as you like,” Blaine bit his lip and paused. Maybe offering that to Sebastian Smythe was dangerous but he got to his knees anyway and feathered the blanket and throw out.  A few unnecessary extra tugs to the corner of the throw were given as Sebastian laid down.  You know?  Just to make sure everything was going to be comfy or–whatever.

If only wishes would work and calm down the drumming of his pulse that echoed up into his ears.  But he smiled anyway.  Mischievously even.  A twinkle came into his eyes.  “I’m so ready. I just hope you’re prepared,” he hummed teasingly, “I’m pretty infamous for cuddling.  Fair warning.  It might ruin them from anyone else..”  Blaine crawled onto the blanket and laid down on his back reaching underneath his head to make some necessary adjustments to the pillow and a half that was his. Feeling the warmth of the fire on his feet garnered a sigh as he cocked his head to the side to look up at Sebastian.  “Comfy?  Enough blankets or?”

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kurt.

He doesn’t know how to address that yes he is aware they can’t get him here when he doesn’t want to snap at the one person trying to help, so he doesn’t.  He opens his mouth to, but doesn’t.  Instead he sighs, shakes his head and closes his eyes.  “No, not like that. We go to the same shitty bars is all.  Sometimes I get high with a girl who buys from one of them- please don’t pretend to be surprised, I’m a walking stereotype.”  His tone is tired more so than bitter.  It’s not that he had a problem with how he lived, how people looked at him; that image was carefully crafted by his own hands and he didn’t regret it.  There were problems with it sometimes, but again, that was his choice too.  It was as simple as that until this current mess started.  Truly, Kurt was just tired.  And, rather anxious if he were honest.

He tries to keep himself from frowning but can’t help it when Kurt calls himself a stereotype. Honestly–Kurt was right but there was more to him than met the eye.  Okay.  That was another stereotype, too.  Blaine would never say the words out loud.  At least not under these circumstances.  Kurt knew the persona he projected.  Lived carefully behind the fences and walls it built.  Blaine only considered himself as being allowed to see through some of the cracks because of the nights he spent here and how they met.  Who was he to call him out and tell him life would be easier if he kept away from these people?  Kurt knew that but wasn’t ready to change.  He might never be.  Blaine just hoped that he could show him some peace and solitude and eventually Kurt might want that more than the exhaustion and strung out nights his current lifestyle was bringing.  If not?  He’d be there for him regardless because turning his back on him was impossible.  So?  If leaving the crowds he and his attackers circled one another in wasn’t going to happen?  “Maybe we could confront them?  Tell them to back off and go find something else to occupy their time with?  I’d help you–you know?  Two have a lot better of a chance to prove a point than one.”

hurt meme.

blueneighbcrhood:

  • “ i got you. it’s gonna be okay, you’re going to be okay.”
  • “i feel like everyone’s miles away from me.”
  • “my mind is a dark place. you don’t want to be there.”
  • “i know this hurts, but you have to stay awake.”
  • “don’t close your eyes, please don’t close your eyes!
  • “i just want to be numb, i don’t want to feel anything.”
  • “please don’t do this, don’t act like you care.”
  • “you don’t care, nobody cares, just leave.”
  • “you’re my friend, of course i fucking care.”
  • “i can’t give up on you, so please don’t give up on yourself.”
  • “i love you so much, i forgot what hating myself felt like.”
  • “i fucked up, why do you not care?
  • “i can’t walk, just go on without me.”
  • “you have broken ribs, take it easy.”
  • “i have no idea how to do cpr.”
  • “whose blood is that?
  • “apply pressure to the wound, don’t let go.”
  • “don’t you dare fucking let go!” 
  • “what the hell happened to you?” 
  • “are they dead? did you kill them?” 
  • “do you know what you’ve done?” 
  • “you’re either with me or against me.” 
  • “who the hell did this to you?” 
  • “are you alright? you hit your head pretty hard…” 
  • “i can’t see!! what’s happening to me?” 
  • “when was the last time you ate?” 
  • “what do you mean you’re fine? you are not fine!” 
  •  “i’m fine, it’s just a flesh wound, i’ll be okay.” 
  • “for how long? how long were you bottling this up?“ 
  • “there’s so much blood, you won’t last.” 
  • “are you… throwing up in there?” 
  • “why aren’t you eating?” 
  • “just breathe… you’re okay, i promise, just breathe.” 
  • “i can’t breathe, i can’t –” 
  • “i woke up, & you were gone.” 
  • “just tell me something, was it really worth it?” 
  • “it’s okay to hurt & breakdown. you don’t have to be strong all the time.”

sebastian.

To live in the bliss of authenticity was astounding for Sebastian. He wasn’t hiding with Blaine. He was being completely vulnerable. However Blaine managed to pull that out of his ass was beyond Sebastian. This was going to be a night he’d never forget. How could he? It was hopefully the start of something so pure and perfect for him. It’d change him and mold him into a better man hopefully.

“Mmkay, sounds good,” he said. Groaning as he stood up he stretched out his long legs. He was so comfortable but he knew it’d be worth it. Walking over to place some firestarter and wood he worked with it until the smallest of embers bloomed into a wild flame. A metaphor for the night perhaps? Standing up tall he stripped off his shirt and threw it to the side. He wanted to feel the pure heat on his pale skin. It reminded him of the best of times. Christmas in France. His grandparents reading him Christmas stories as kids. Before the loss of innocence.

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Blaine hurried upstairs to his bedroom.  A heavy breath parted his lips as he opened his linen closet and grabbed a blanket and thick throw wrapping his arms around both and awkwardly grabbing several pillows off his bed. Two fit in his arms while another dangled from a fist that was given a reprieve from shaking now that it had something to hang onto.  Nerves began to get the best of him.  Stopping short of leaving his room–Blaine glanced in the mirror on top of his dresser.  He gave himself a hard stare wondering if this would be too much and too close to last time and the mistakes that happened.  Ones that almost cost him more than he’d ever want to lose.  No.  This was fine.  They could lay there and talk.  Nothing had to happen.

Determined–he hurried down the stairs already taking too long snatching blankets and pillows. A soft gasp could be heard from the entrance to the living room.  Hazel eyes locked on the long, elegant line of Sebastian’s bare spine and Blaine practically dropped everything in his arms until he scrambled to snatch them tight again.  “I–um. You got the fire going?  Great–  You look comfortable,” be damned if his voice wasn’t an octave or two high enough for him not to notice. His eyebrows shoved towards one another–face screwed up in a faint cough to clear his throat and lose the wobble to his tone.  “Catch,” he recovered with a grin and tossed one pillow directly at the taller boy before joining him in front of the fire and tore his gaze off him and let what was in his arms fall to the floor so he could set everything up.

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I want to give some love to @pianokeysandbowties! One of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. Every ooc conversation we have makes me smile a crazy amount. Like, it’s weird for me to smile that much. I know there are hardships in this community, and sometimes I can barely even get myself online. Luckily I have this lovely person in my life, who is a huge reason I get excited to come on and roleplay! Like actual shining star. Our plotting and threads are so incredible because, we click, and their Blaine is PERFECTION. I will always admire the writing and thought that goes into each reply. Blaine’s voice is loud and clear every time. Lots of love, always! xoxo

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// I want whoever that sent this in to know that you are so, so incredibly thoughtful for every word you said.  I’m completely flabbergasted (in a great way!) and..just..thank you.  I’m so glad that you enjoy our time together.  As long as I can make your day?  Then I’m doing my job.  Having my roleplay friends get excited about writing, our plots, and their own characters is what I love most about roleplaying.  Making friendships is what I love most about the people behind the screen.  Just know that whoever you are?  You’re making me just as excited to be here.  Thank you for your kind words about my writing and portrayal of a character that really means alot to me.  I get so nervous writing him sometimes and this is just..there isn’t a word to describe what that means to me.  Actually?  I’m not sure I can express how much all of this means to me without getting way emotional.  I’m just going to sit here and swoon and try not to cry since I’m already teared up! Loves of Love Back. xoxoxo.