“Okay.” His words were quiet and he had a slightly uncomfortable smile on his face. Walking through to the living room his breathing was shallow as his fingers ran across the couch. “Oh, a water’s fine. Thanks.” Sebastian appreciated it. He only wished he could get rid of this awkwardness. In fact, he couldn’t stand it. How did someone like Sebastian fucking Smythe get reduced to someone who wasn’t open to talk. “Actually no. Let’s just sit down and talk. No distractions. Okay?” he asked him.
He was ready to say everything he had said over text. It’d be hard to open himself up this way, but he had to do it. Sebastian refused to miss out on something that could be great. Something that could literally change him as a person and make him better than before. Sebastian moved to the couch to take a seat on the couch. Patting the spot next to him, his entire front was faced towards. “I meant it. Every word,” he started. “I… I really care about you, Blaine. And I don’t fucking know how it happened or even why it did. All I know is that I want you in ways that measure beyond just your body.”
Blaine stopped by the entrance to the living room. One hand lifted to gesture for Sebastian to go make himself comfortable in spite of the slightly trembling fingers that motioned for him to do so giving away the fact that Blaine was winding himself into a ball of nerves at breakneck speed. He turned to go get them water and stopped abruptly when Sebastian spoke up. Busted. The moment he tried to steal to calm himself down was called out and stolen away before he could make it more than two steps. “Sure. No distractions.” Deflating with a drawn out sigh–he warily looked back first and then turned the rest of his body to match the glance over his shoulder and slowly followed Sebastian to the couch. Sitting down beside him–Blaine bit his lip on the way down and didn’t let it go as he propped one bent knee up on the cushion, hooked the back of his knee over the inside of that ankle and gripped his calf with both hands so that he could match Sebastian’s facing him and meet his eyes.
He wished he hadn’t four words in because what he heard struck him hard. Sebastian cared about him. The problem was? “I really care about you, too, Sebastian.” More than he should. So said the heavy drag of guilt in his stomach and an eerie quiet that he’d been in since they parted the way they did. Other people were noticing. Everyone was noticing. And he blamed it on anything but the truth. “I didn’t mean to make you feel rejected. That’s the last thing I wanted,” his eyes went owlish, blinking away tears he felt building up. “I messed up. I just miss you and I feel like I seriously blew something that was..,” he cleared his throat and shook his head stopping there. “I told you in texts but I wanted to say it right away. I’m really..really sorry.”
“Yes, yes I did. And you do. You suck very much,” Dave pretended to pout. Of course, he was joking, and he knew just as well as he was sure Blaine knew that he was. Dave wished that he hadn’t pulled back so soon. He had learned recently that Blaine’s lips were more than addicting, and if he really wanted to, he could spend a whole day just worshiping those lips. Dave was flushing. Maybe christening their voyage like this was tacky. Maybe it was a dumb idea to make a toast. Maybe he should have just stuck to kissing Blaine, it would have been less tacky. Yet, it seemed like Blaine liked it. He perked up, proud that he was able to garner this reaction from the other. “I can do cute things occasionally. Just…This is special. It’s like another big step in our relationship, you know? First it was meeting my dad, and now this? We’re going on this trip together and it’s just so awesome because I can’t think of anyone else I would want to go on this with, and I just can’t wait to be on the road with you,” he hummed, clinking his glass with Blaine’s glass. He sipped his drink, knowing it tasted better simply because of Blaine. He let out a surprised noise when Blaine kissed the corner of his mouth, but he turned, kissing the other once more. “You’re welcome. Thank you.”
Dave being so visibly happy with himself that he found his little surprise so sweet caused Blaine’s eyes to soften and his smile to be nothing short of a fascinated part of lips and a tiny curve at the edges. How could he make someone so happy by just enjoying the idea that Dave was thinking about him and them so much that he’d go out of his way to come up with something so, so, so..perfect? A perfect way to begin their trip together. Alone. Dave finding joy in the idea he brought Blaine joy? Blaine felt his heart become so light he imagined it might fly out of his chest. It was a sensation he didn’t think he could ever or would let himself feel again. And when it came to him from out of the blue? It brought such an overwhelming feeling of..breathing. Like breathing after only getting in gasps for air while he felt like he was suffocating for months. Dave coming into his life and helping him? That was his head bobbing to the surface and air rushing into his lungs. This small moment where he saw nothing but adoration and joy in Dave’s eyes? Over a pair of plastic champagne glasses and bubbling apple juice? Was it weird that it hit him so hard?
Blaine carefully sat his glass in the console and moved his palm to cup Dave’s cheek. His expression said everything as he stroked the pad of his thumb back and forth. “You’re so–. You’re amazing,” he snagged the corner of his bottom lip but freed it with a gentle smile, “I’m so ready for this step in our relationship. We’re going to have a great time. Together. I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be than right here. Or the road but I’m in no rush for that.” He had to chuckle. Otherwise? He might want to sit here, not move, and just hug the man to death.
“I’m stronger, to start. My senses are better too. Touch, smell, taste, everything.” He feels like he should avoid the worst of it. He also feels the need to be honest. It’s conflicting, but in the end he has to cut to the chase, doesn’t he? “Instincts are different. Different food, different feelings, different thoughts sometimes, way different pain tolerance- it’s… Honestly? Almost everything feels different, but not in a bad way just..” He shrugs. He’s not sure his body is even his anymore; not when his blood will turn black if he bleeds. No need to get bitter on Blaine though, so he continues to speak lightly, casually.
“Don’t need as much sleep either as long as I eat enough.” Starve quick, but heal fast. An interesting kind of design. Everything about them was designed to revolve around food, it seemed. Stronger skin, better sense, better strength, perfect for fighting and maintained by souls. It created a loop. Unaware of his own train of thought drifting so badly, Kurt sits quiet and still for a moment before glancing back to Blaine.
Blaine didn’t realize when he began to do it. But as Kurt explained more about his situation and the differences between then–. Don’t think too much about then. You promised yourself you wouldn’t the second you sat down for breakfast. Try sticking to it this time? For more than five minutes. And now? He began to try and spot them physically. To see a solid, real anything that he could look at and focus on and say to himself that –Yes. That’s it. I’ve never seen this before.– That was safer and less disturbing than what Kurt showed him the night he came back. Hazel eyes darted from Kurt’s hair to his cheekbones, mouth and fingers. One tangible thing–that’s all he wanted.
Was he searching with purposefully blind eyes? Leave it to him to do something like that considering who it was he was looking at. But–he just couldn’t see it. Or didn’t want to see it even though he was looking? Who knew? Nothing about this was normal. Yet they were doing one of the most mundane things people could do together. Eating waffles and sipping juice. The contrast made him dizzy but he kept up anyway nodding when appropriate and eating between stares. When their gazes met–Blaine realized he hadn’t said a word during the entire explanation. A flush of color heated his cheeks, his mouth opened but then closed with a smile and he was the one to look away with a staggered, jerky shift of his focus down to his fork. “Are you happy with it,” he asked thoughtlessly and swallowed more juice before looking back into the forever blue of Kurt’s eyes. “Are you okay with everything?”
( mssg » blaine | sent ) Just wait. I’ll get you back for that. I’ll just wait till you’re at work and I’m at home. [ 😉 ] ( mssg » blaine | sent ) You have no idea what I want to do to you. ( mssg » blaine | sent ) I meant that in a non creepy way… I guess we both kinda suck at this.
( mssg » dave | sent ) Oh? You will? I dare you to try, Mister Karofsky. ( mssg » dave | sent ) …. ( mssg » dave | sent ) You know? I didn’t see it as creepy until you said you didn’t mean it that way. No! We’re not horrible! We’re just.. Is this sexting with bumper rails? I think we need bumper rails.
Blaine’s fingers dancing through his hair weighted Sebastian into his sleep even more than the alcohol ever could. If he’d been awake sober enough to appreciate this, he might not have enjoyed it as freely as he did then. He’d felt it. He’d felt it back when they’d met the very first time. And finally, now, he did once more. Blaine was home. Blaine was where he was supposed to be. From all the fancy places he’d lived, none of them, had even got CLOSE to feeling like that. Sebastian felt something quiet down inside him again. Like the quiet breath of pieces coming into place. The same settling in he’d felt before and another. A new one that came from how out of place he’d been after Blaine’d been ripped away from him, by his own actions. It was always on the back of his mind, an echo of hurt. And the sudden disappearance had tugged him awake more than the car bump. It felt wrong, like he SHOULD be still feeling it, be still hurting. Hence the question. He watched Blaine’s face, hazily as the other struggled to respond. His eyelids fluttering at the touch on his forehead, before he forced his gaze to focus. His expression serious, and as Blaine talked, his eyes widened. Did Blaine really mean it?? Did he actually think that about him?? Blaine had said he was done with him. And Sebastian wasn’t used to second chances. He didn’t have relationships that LASTED. A relationship where he could try again. Where he should try again. All this time he thought it was over, but what Blaine said now, made him breathe in sharply. He went quiet for a moment, but not like last time. Still stupefied as he looked at Blaine. His lips touched the corner of Blaine’s before he could even think, even though the movement was soft, as he lifted himself to it. The press was warm and slow, and he bumped his forehead forward as a rough murmur batted Blaine’s jaw. “Thank you, Blainers.” He closed his eyes, an overwhelming relief rolling down his back. “I knew it.” He knew it. He knew Blaine and him were meant to be something.
Seeing how what he said to the man in his arms affected him so deeply–Blaine couldn’t help but feel a prick and then a scratch of guilt claw at his insides. He’d left Sebastian wondering for far too long. Cut him off and turned his back putting on a friendly front in the end and even forgiving him without saying the actual words. Things were never the same though. The closeness–that Blaine wondered if he’d made up and was the sole person who felt it in their darkest hours–never came back to the way it was before. Maybe that was his fault more than Sebastian’s. Distance was safer. Less room for anyone to get hurt if mistakes were made again. But–here they were. Years later. Blaine being the one that Sebastian knew he could call on when he was in a rough spot. Not that he did very often. Tonight was an exception and Blaine was glad it was. Their conversation might be one-sided drunk but he hoped that what he was saying sank in and lasted past the morning. In spite of all the muck and mud and blood under the bridge. Not being there for Sebastian wasn’t possible. Hating him was even less of a possibility than being absent from his life completely. Sebastian being drunk for Blaine to get it out? Might’ve been just what Blaine needed to have the courage to say when he needed to say. His breath hitched when he felt the press of lips against the corner of his mouth. From the simple contact–his whole body came to life. A spiderweb of light that began in such a tiny, but so very intimate place and ran through every limb down to the fingers that flexed in Sebastian’s hair and against his cheek to the toes that curled and pressed into the soles of his shoes. The thunk of Sebastian’s forehead against the side of his made him smile–his tongue catching the corner of it to steal the aftertaste of where Sebastian’s kiss was and he felt the world spin. “You’re welcome, Seb.” They turned onto Sebastian’s street but he couldn’t wait until they were out of the cab to sate his curiosity. “Knew what,” his whisper touched Sebastian’s chin and Blaine let his guard down enough to stay right where he was. Holding him this close, skin to skin. Breath to breath.
( mssg » blaine | sent ) I think I’d rather see you tonight too. I say I can’t wait for you to get here. Are you spending the night?
( mssg » dave | sent ) It’d probably be for the best. Would it be awkward if I did? I could always get a hotel or make the drive back. It’s no problem. I don’t want to put you in an uncomfortable situation.
“Dude, I know we’re not supposed to talk about it,” he dropped his voice as his eyes shifted to make sure they were alone, “but this you-know-what idea is an awesome one,” he said, referring to the Fight Club that they had recently put together. Today was the first meeting and doing a little early morning broga to help relax before the big day was something that just seemed right. “You as hyped as I am?”
Considering when he told Sam about his Dalton Fight Club–Blaine was expecting to have his best friend look at him like he was insane? When in fact–Sam immediately latched onto the idea that they should start one here at McKinley? The half jokes that they tossed around became serious conversations and suddenly–it was really happening. Some warm up broga was a great way to put any anxiety that the McKinley boys might not have a full idea of what they were getting into to rest. They could always back out. Sort of. Sam’s voice drew his attention and he peeked over with a relaxed smile. “No, we’re not supposed to but–? Yeah. I am. Are you sure you really want to do this? I mean–. Today? We all fight.”
Lift your head up high. And scream out to the world! I know I am someone! And let the truth unfurl. No one can hurt you now. Because you know what’s true.
this is a message to all of my mutuals, especially the ones that i have not yet interacted with !! we should get together and do a thing. i can look through your wishlist, or you can look at mine. or we can pants it. even just a small thing. or even a verse. i am open to many things. but really, let’s just do a thing. okay ? like this, or message me, or IM me– i like the IM thingy. c:
pianokeysandbowties back up 