“ I’ll never hate you, Blaine. I couldn’t. I’ve hit the lowest of lows trying to prove myself to you. I make enemies for myself like a stripper makes one dollar bills. I know what having a dark side means, I know what it looks like. We all have one—- but yours, I’ll never hate yours. Don’t you get it? We’ve both fucked up, but I—- “ he stopped in his attempt at being genuine, furrowing his eyebrows as the words he was about to say got cut off by fear. He wanted to say the ultimate truth, the thing he had been running from in his mind. The thing that made him use Hunter Clarington in the most wrongful of ways. The thing that gave Sebastian the determination to run after Blaine for years. That thing was a thing called love. Sebastian fell in love with Blaine so fast, so hard; ever since then it had been a battle owning up to his emotions. Perhaps saying it would change things, make it all better. But as silence lingered the clouds in Sebastian’s head space masked the sun && he began to think that saying it would make Blaine run away forever. He knew that Blaine wanted him back, but maybe love, && not just like, was only present on Sebastian’s side.
A deep breath was taken, holding it for a moment before releasing it slowly. He began softening his features as he moves away from Blaine’s lips, still close enough to stay intimate as ever. Eyes met the ones staring across from him as he bites down on his bottom lip anxiously, wishing there was a way to look deeper inside of them. If only everything could be a happy ending, but that just wasn’t how life worked && Sebastian knew that all too well; better than most ever would. There was a pain in his eyes because they were so close to something good. So soon to being lost in time, but one little thing kept pressing pause && building up unknown lengths of anticipation. Blaine was clearly still devoted to that certain someone else. Sebastian refused to make a fool of himself, he refused to loose this battle that was making Blaine realize they were perfect for each other. That Sebastian could treat Blaine so well, that they connected on a level that nobody else ever would. They both had grief, && regrets; a dark side. But all at once, impulse took the stage, && Sebastian spit out the statement he had been holding in for so long. “ ——I love you. “
There was no other way to put it. Sebastian had cast some sort of spell on him that kept his limbs frozen. Fingers cupping the back of Sebastian’s neck while the other set twisted into the fabric on his shoulder. Blaine stayed with his heels slightly in the air and his eyes locked on Sebastian’s–even in this closeness that he couldn’t bear to break–as he listened to the taller boy try to put Blaine’s fears of ruining them to rest. Sebastian had one thing so infinitely wrong between them. Try to prove himself? If he was still doing that? It was time to stop. “You won’t? But look at what I did-,” his whisper came out choked and barely there. The knowing Blaine once had in regards to Sebastian Smythe and the man he thought he was had been broken at one point–yes. But they’d gone through so much to rebuild those bridges. Yes–there might be weak spots here and there still. But even they would get stronger in time–hell–they barely existed anymore as it was. “I wouldn’t have come to you if you still needed to prove yourself to me, Seb. Please stop. This isn’t about proving yourself. I know we both messed up.” Blaine leaned closer. Closer. To the point he could practically taste the words forming between his and Sebastian’s lips. The flavor was a mix of the air they were breathing and the taste of their skin blended together. His question was almost forgotten. He was almost there.
Sebastian’s deep breath lulled him back to Earth and the space that was put between them had him crashing down the rest of the way. Blaine slowly blinked and swallowed desperate gulps of air. Navy blue was balled up into tighter fist–Sebastian’s neck supported some of Blaine’s weight like he was trying to get that closeness back. “I know we–but–you what?” –I love you.– Sebastian didn’t need to repeat himself for Blaine to hear it again. –I love you.— The echo of it bounced from Blaine’s memory right to his heart. The insides of his lips were bit between his teeth. He wanted to tell Sebastian he didn’t deserve someone loving him back. That–eventually–he’d ruin that feeling because he was an idiot and messed up the one thing that he promised he never would. Blaine wanted to do a lot of things. Walk out. Hang tighter to the body he clung to. Say it back. God, the longer he stared up at him–the more he wanted to. Maybe it was because he felt like Sebastian just took his wrist when he was about to fall and pulled him to his feet. “Sebastian..” Maybe he was so tired of being lonely for months before and now months after. Or maybe one of those notions to say something he’d felt and cut off so many times. Whatever the reason–the next thing that happened didn’t come from words he was afraid he’d fail at but it came from the same place. The hand holding Sebastian’s blazer tugged him forward–the fingers cupping Sebastian’s neck helped and their lips met again. No timid try. No hesitation. Just a mouth that nudged Sebastian’s open so it could pour every unsaid word inside before he made the regretful mistake of missing this chance that he just didn’t want to fight off for the dozenth time. Not anymore.
pianokeysandbowties back up 