Sebastian felt empty. He knew that Blaine walking out wouldn’t make him feel any better. The damage was done now, and he wouldn’t be able to get Blaine out of his head for weeks, much less the next few hours, locked in a white room alone and bored out of his mind. He was between a rock and a hard place, as he usually was when it came down to Blaine. The other staying would only give him bitterness over the fact that he wasn’t SUPPOSED to be there in the first place, and that nothing good ever came out of it in the end. He’d gone through that road too many times now not to know better. And on the other hand, he didn’t want to be alone either, but it seemed like the only option. He played vaguely with the idea of going through phone’s contacts, looking for someone he could call, that’d actually show up to something like this. There was none, of course. He didn’t have FRIENDS, not like Blaine, he had booty calls, and acquaintances. And for most part he was fine with it. Except for times like these.
Blaine looked like he was about to implode, and Sebastian felt pissed about how much he hated to see him like that, and yet he also knew he’d hate more to see a different type of guilt in his eyes. He wondered if Blaine regretted ever helping him. He felt his throat tighten bitterly, and he had to ask. He had to know what was going through Blaine’s head when he did that. If he even cared at all, still.
He looked at Blaine as Blaine didn’t look at him, and felt frustrated that he couldn’t just see through the honeyed eyes, like he usually did. He screwed his eyebrows at the words, frowning, then swallowed.
“Sure… Just not enough, right?” Only enough to put them through shit, but not enough to want to actually stick around. “I can’t— DO this, anymore, Blaine. We can’t keep starring in this shitshow. This whole pretending I’m one of your ducklings, thing. It’s not true. We both know that. And it feels like hell.” He swallowed, tighter, chapped lips parting. He hated to admit those things, but he had no choice. “This halfway thing we’ve always had, it doesn’t work.” He gave him a look, daring Blaine to contradict him. Even back when they were just trying to be friends, Blaine was embarrassed of it, hiding it from his real ones, keeping Sebastian at arm’s length. And even after they’d finally shared a bed, it’d still been a font of guilt and shame, and something that could never live out of four walls. “Never did.” He grasped at the sheets on his lap with his non injured hand. “And it doesn’t go anywhere good.” He downed his eyes then, looking sideways. “You gotta let go.” And I do too.
Hurt eyes watched Sebastian warily. His breath stopped and he was frozen. Every bit of himself waiting for the reaction to his reply to come crashing down because that was exactly what he knew was going to happen. Sebastian asked the question but he already had the answer in his head. Blaine’s gut told him that regardless of how what he said? Sebastian’s mind was made up. He made a mistake. He wasn’t welcome here. Nothing he said he did could change those two facts. But he didn’t regret coming. There wasn’t a shred of a fiber in his being that would allow him to turn his back on someone he cared about after witnessing them nearly die and walk away as if he was never there.
Blaine would rather take any amount of pain than live with the question of what might’ve happened had things been a little worse when they got here. If Sebastian might’ve been gone forever in a matter of minutes. Or hours. He would have to live with himself knowing that he was last person who to see him and could’ve been there. Only, instead, he simply left him to suffer alone. Maybe that amount of guilt was what he deserved. Not knowing, going home, sitting up forever reading the newspaper or calling hospitals to see if Sebastian made it without him being any the wiser that someone out there was worried. Maybe that panic was what fate decided to dish out to him. God knows he was a horrible person to him when they were close. What right did he have to the peace of mind that he felt last night knowing Sebastian was safe and he’d be okay? None.
Nor did he have any right to hope that this might be some sort of turning point. That Sebastian would listen to his truth and, if he was willing, let him be there to help. A groundwork for something better than they ever had. Something built from the literal pavement up.
“I get it,” his voice cracked and his heart fell, “I never gave you enough. You’ve made that abundantly clear. All of this was a mistake. I understand. How many times do you have to say it? I messed up. Is it really a surprise? That’s all I ever seem capable of doing with you. I made the wrong choice coming and an even poorer one when I stayed. I hurt you. Again.” Deserving nothing and expecting too much, Blaine’s gaze dropped to the ground when Sebastian finally spoke up and said what he was anticipating. In very easy to understand simplicity. Time to let go. For real. Time to say goodbye and never come back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for things to turn out like this. Or any of it to turn out the way it did. I—it doesn’t matter.” His shoulders slouched and he looked all the more small the more he caved into himself. Like he’d just curl up until he disappeared if he had the ability. “I’ll listen. You won’t see me–” A pained sound left him at the last part and he was crying but hospitals were used to that. “–I promise, Sebastian.” He couldn’t breathe and his throat couldn’t squeak out the last of what he had to say, so he smiled a goodbye and turned to go before he really lost it in front of him. Cause that was his own problem to deal with.
Dave couldn’t help but laugh at Blaine’s over-selling of his big spoon game. It was easily the most adorable thing he’d ever heard in his life, though he wasn’t going to say anything just yet. He didn’t want to ruin the moment right now. It was much too nice and if he said anything, he had a feeling that he might say something that could completely ruin all of it. That wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to be close to Blaine, he wanted to enjoy the closeness and the intimacy. He wanted to enjoy feeling good for once in his life. With someone that understood what he’d been through, with someone that didn’t judge him for his past.
He never would have imagined getting this lucky in all of his life but here he was, with Blaine tucked in against his chest and their hands laced together. This was something he could have only dreamt of just a few years back. Things were changing and for the better. His heart raced a little faster as Blaine began to press kisses to his knuckles and he squeezed Blaine’s hand gently, cheeks bright pink. “I’m really, really, happy with you.” Dave said quietly, ducking his head to press a few gentle kisses to Blaine’s shoulder and neck. “I’ve never been so happy.”
Hearing Dave whisper how happy he was made Blaine feel as if he were light as air. A soft smile was pressed against the pillow, his nose brushing over the soft fabric. The happiness beamed out of him in his voice, a cracked and content. “Good. The one thing I want to make sure I’m doing right is making you happy. After all you’ve done for me.” Feeling the nearness of fingertips near his lips, Blaine felt his pulse pick up as he kissed over them and brought the velvet caress of his lips to a pause of warm breath ghosting over the moisture his pecks. “You make me happy, too.”
Goosebumps chased after Dave’s kisses. His neck a weakspot that made him shudder. “You are? Good..” Letting his foot slide back, he hooked it over Dave’s calf and scooted it forward to tangle their legs together. A flex of his fingers brought Dave’s hand up over his cheek and turned his head back just enough to trace the lines inside his palm with his lips, nose, breath. Oh, this felt far too good. “I’m so glad for that night. You know that?” Words muttered, nearly muffled against skin covering Dave’s wrist. Then nothing but a quiet hum when his pulse picked up to a rabbit’s foot pace. The warmth of his lips wrapped around Dave’s thumb and he took it between them indulging himself with a taste of his skin. Having a moment like this after pushing it off for so long? How could he not?
As soon as those lips touched his cheek, Dave felt the blush rise fast. It made his whole body feel warm and it made his stomach twist in an familiar and slightly nerve-wracking way. But he liked it. He liked the feeling that he got when he was with Blaine. He liked how Blaine made him feel. He felt better about himself when he was here, when he was with someone that understood him.
A little laugh rumbled in his chest when Blaine spoke and he nuzzled his forehead against the boys’ shoulder, hand resting flat against his chest. He could almost feel Blaine’s heartbeat underneath his hand and that was a work of wonder, wasn’t it? “Yeah? I don’t doubt it.” And he didn’t, it was just that he didn’t often like to be the little spoon because other peoples’ arms were never long enough. “Yeah, this is perfect.” He murmured, letting their fingers lace together. He lifted his arm up a little to rest against Blaine’s chest, cheeks still burning hot.
Tucked in and perfectly moulded to Dave’s chest, Blaine hummed as he felt the rumble of Dave’s laugh against his back. “You better not. Because my big spoon game? It’s pretty on point,” he teased happily enjoying this moment and letting himself indulge in the feeling of just being near someone like this. The feeling was something he ached for in his bones for months. Having that nearness and letting himself be close enough to someone that he could be this way with. It wasn’t something he was sure he’d open himself up to for a very long time. Self-defense of shutting out something he knew in his bones he needed might not’ve been the healthiest idea. But it was one he was forcing himself to settle into.
Then along came Dave. Who grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him in a different direction that locking himself away and sinking into the dark was allowed nowhere near. Look at where they were now because of it. Lacing his fingers tighter to Dave’s hand highest against his chest, he lifted it up and began peppering kisses to his knuckles as he spoke unaware of how deeply Dave was blushing. Or that his own face might be a perfect match. “Are you happy? You know,” another few kisses, “with me? I want to make sure you’re happy. Because. You really do deserve that, Dave. More than you let yourself think.”
Blaine pulled his heel towards the back of his thigh as he balled up and reclined into the corner of the sofa. It went without saying that his first week at McKinley had him feeling so new and out of touch. His friends were only a school away but that might as well be forever and a day when it boiled down to what it felt like. He was homesick for a place that all he wanted to do was return to. Lonely when he was surrounded by new, friendly faces. For her, he was doing his best to put on a brave facade. Tell himself that this round at public school wouldn’t end the way the previous one had. If he was a little more careful, a little more guarded and exuded Blaine Warbler. Even without the Warbler part. It’d work. God, he hoped so.
Apparently, he was doing a horrible job at hiding the mixed bag of emotions he was feeling on an hourly basis. Any sort of knock on his favorite girl’s school, her life, her friends or their new familial relationship couldn’t be any further from his intention. He’d made that abundantly clear with an apology on an hourly basis, it seemed like. What he was struggling with wasn’t anything to do with her. Yet, he was infinitely grateful when Santana showed up into the living room with a cake that had to be as tall as his head. Hazel eyes widened and he made a yearning sound unlike any he’d ever heard himself make.
“How many layers of chocolate is that? And oh my god. Please tell me you brought two forks?” Lifting the edge of the blanket he had draped over his legs, he motioned her to join him with a wave of his hand. “Sorry if I was quiet tonight. I’m really going to stop this sooner rather than later. I promise.”
Although Cooper liked to tease Blaine, which he did pretty often, he also liked seeing his brother’s sense of innocence, with the amount of time they spent apart, Cooper often forgot that technically Blaine was still a kid, and was certainly entitled to act like one every once in a while. So when Blaine sat up right, hair tussled slightly, with a few leaves stuck here and there for decoration, he couldn’t help the smile that pulled at his lips. Yeah, tease all he liked, but Cooper was happiest when he got to see Blaine happy.
His eyebrows shot up as Blaine tumbled back into the pile of leaves with a thud, craning his neck to take a better look, Cooper let out a sigh of relief as Blaine’s hand suddenly emerged from the leaves, and a fond laugh fell from his lips. Placing his hands on his hips, he rolled his eyes and stepped forward, peering down at his brother in amusement. “You didn’t need my help getting down there,” he grinned, shaking his head playfully as he leaned over to take a closer look at Blaine, mostly because he knew that if Blaine had somehow injured himself on Cooper’s watch, then it would definitely be his fault, and he hadn’t come all this way for that. “Fine…” Cooper said with an overly exasperated sigh, as he reached out and clasped his hand firmly around Blaine’s, “Up you get…”
Blaine couldn’t help himself. He grinned from ear to ear and waited for the sound of Cooper’s steps drawing near. Soon as his brother was within reaching distance, he lifted one hand and shook a leaf out from underneath the cuff of his black coat. Then, fingertips that jutted out from where his gloves ended halfway up his knuckles wriggled for the elder Anderson to take. Underneath the cover of the leaves he let himself sink into, his heels found a solid push against the dirt, grass and bed of what leaves he didn’t kick out of the way. He waited. Round, expectant eyes stared up at his brother. Their fingers laced together. His hand close enough to the ground that Cooper would’ve had to lean just a little. Which was all he needed.
His warning in the form of a toothy laugh came a split second too late. Light, carefree and so much outside of himself that it even broke into a completely unrestrained cackle. Something he’d always found himself always just a little bit apprehensive about truly letting go in Cooper’s presence. Always afraid that if he did? When Cooper left? He’d be left picking up the pieces of putting too much hope that they could be like they were years ago. After he stopped being so annoying and Cooper started to realize how much he meant to Blaine. He let himself steal that feeling all over again. Lived and breathed in it and with a sharp inhale, he used Cooper’s hand giving it a pull before his free hand grabbed his brother’s forearm and all his strength suddenly tugged Cooper right down into the pile not giving a damn if he ruined all his work if it meant Cooper was on the ground with him. Peals of laughter, scattered leaves and legs going all over. Best way to say hello ever, yeah? Much better than ‘let’s get coffee’!
There was no one home to see him go to town on the pile of leaves he managed to rake up only fifteen minutes prior. Oh, sure. He stood there debating if he was going to do the thing or not while he finished what was left of his warm, spiced apple cider. Maybe that was what pushed him over the edge and he entered why not territory. Sugar rush much? Freeing both hands by setting the Dalton emblemed thermos down on a wrought iron bench in the yard, the youngest Anderson tossed one glance over his shoulder. Seeing no one? His hands hit the ground on the very edge of the pile and a handstand later, his feet stayed in the air for a shift of weight from one hand to the next that brought him right over the heap of red, yellow, brown and orange.
Gravity took care of the rest as he let himself fall into the smell of fall and the soft but crunchy bed of leaves sending them into the air, off to his sides, swallowing him up as he sank. Bright cackles rolled out of him as he laid there laughing, kicking his feet to make the smell even more of a delicacy to savor. It wasn’t until he heard someone clear their throat that he bolted into a sitting upright position, round eyes stared at Cooper on the patio. He let Squirt slide.. “I…am one with the leaves,” but he blinked a second later and let himself fall backwards with a crackling thud. A gloved hand rose up, fingers stretched towards Cooper and grabbed at the air. “Fine! We’ll go get coffee. Help me up?” Grab, grab, wriggle..devious smile hidden from view thanks to an arch of his neck. Go on. Help him up, Cooper.
Preemptive smooches Elliott was ALL to happy to return, taking his time with a distinct casualness of someone who had nowhere to be. No stresses, for the moment at least, just a gleeful content and a man he loved tight in his arms.
How anyone could think their love was wrong, when it made him feel like THIS, Elliott had no idea.
“Good to me.” Hopefully good all around, if Elliott got his way.
His Mom was an absolute DOLL, so he felt fairly confident that, yes, Good was indeed going to be the word for all of this.
“See, what I wanted to ask, and I’m hoping you’ll say YES,” He’s bridging the question carefully, trying not to force a yes, without at all implying he wanted anything but, swaying them from side to side as is creating CALMNESS in the rocking sensation.
“My Mom – she wants to have a proper family dinner. Just the three of us, all fancy and proper, so she can meet you. I was gonna drive down Tuesday night, if you wanna?”
He pulls back, waiting with baited breath for a yes or a no, hoping deeply not just that Blaine will come, but that it will all go smoothly.
Blaine felt safe. Content to linger right where he was, humming between kisses and sharing a moment of complete downtime with the perfect person to enjoy it against. Watching Elliott turn careful right after that sort of warm-up? How could he not be curiouser and curiouser? Enough that he lifted his head from Elliott’s chest and tossed him a burrowed brow nudge to continue.
Okay, that was the sweetest dinner with Mom proposal ever and the laugh that left him was light as air. Both arms shifted, up over Elliott’s shoulders where he held onto his wrists for steadiness before lifting up and pressing a kiss to the corner of Elliott’s lips.
“I’d love to meet her. She sounds so sweet on the phone and I think it’s more than adorable the way you light up when you talk about her.”
Though a little bit of unsurety creeps in and he bites into his bottom lip pondering if he should say what’s on his mind. Then knows Elliott wouldn’t want it any other way. “You’re sure she’s going to like me, right?”
He paused, looking for the right words. “It’s been a while since the whole first meeting of a parent thing,” and just for a moment his voice goes quiet before picking back up, “I want to make sure I don’t mess it up.”
“a drink sounds great – thank you. it’s nice to meet you too,” kenny gave him a smile, hoping he would remember the offer by the end of his shift. he accepted the handshake, as he did not want to potentially appear rude, but made sure it didn’t last… too long. it was only natural instinct by now, and he simply hoped that blaine would not pick up on it.
he thought about his question for a minute or so. this town was rather boring, he could admit, but to him, it was a comfort after so many years of moving… he just wished that he had done more here than work and sit around in his apartment most of the time so he could give a better answer.
“what there is to do? honestly… not too much,” he laughed for a moment. “it’s a small place – there’s the bar, of course, and there’s a nice diner down the road that makes good milkshakes. sometimes, the library does stuff on weekends – but i’m not too sure what, i’ve never been inside. if you like shopping… we don’t have too much, besides like, the regular stuff – and a few family-owned businesses that make candles and stuff, if you like those places.”
Blaine shook Kenny’s hand not seeming to notice much judging by the smile still written on his face when his fingers drifted back to the drink he only just began sipping away at. Another swallow and a brow lifted up. This time his teeth were bared from the ear to ear grin and he couldn’t help huffing out a light chortle. “Feels like I went full circle then. I grew up in Ohio. Our town had about as much going on as this one. Even the bar sort of looks the same.”
Unless you drove out of the city limits and found the one single gay bar between two towns a couple hours apart? This place looked like every bar in Little Town, USA. At least the company seemed pleasant enough? And it beat sitting back in his little hotel room alone with limited cable and barely any internet speed.
“Maybe I’ll try the diner for breakfast in the morning? As long as they have coffee? I’ll be happy.”
Happier if the garage called with good news. “How long have you been here? Local or just wander here and decide to stay?” Blaine smiled from Kenny down towards the ice in his glass, before lifting it for another swallow. Ten minutes of talk and this was the most conversation he had that wasn’t on his bluetooth since he left New York. Maybe taking a break, as unexpected as it was, might’ve been a good idea. Human contact wasn’t something he realized he missed until he found himself scrambling for any reason to keep talking.
// I don’t think I’m writing any sort of taboo ships rn. I have in the past but for now? My ships might be a lil kinky from time to time but nothing I’d classify as taboo per society’s standards. I tend to keep that line of writing for the partners who are interested and who I’ve known for a while/we got dat chemistry! Cause tumblr gets a lil wonky sometimes with the judgement hammer. Ya dig? Come talk to me on discord! LOL!
💣 ship that pisses me off.
// Seblaine used to big time. LOL! Long story there and you can see I am very much the freaking opposite of that now. I have ships I don’t like? Ones I don’t care for? But ones that piss me off? Not really. I either ship it. Or I really don’t care about it. The ships I don’t like don’t really matter enough for me to let myself get pissed off about them anymore. There are a few that make me cringe my nose at though. To each his own though, I guess.
For every 🎊 I get I’ll recommend a blog – accepting!
@pianokeysandbowties – An amazing Blaine Anderson! Also, J is the nicest person in the world! I love her very much! 😀
@seesgood – Lia is pure sunshine and all of her ooc posts are amazing! I’m so lucky to call her my friend. Plus, her portrayal of Caroline Forbes is A plus!
Cali’s an awesome dude who’s really been there for me when I’ve needed it. I also adore Sonny and Puck would do anything for his bro, tbh!
@wholelotofmuses – If you’re a fan of multimuse blogs, you should definitely give this blog a follow! Lola’s so cool! I don’t know how she juggles so many different muses!
// This is so freaking sweet, btw. I love you, David. Thanks for being such a good friend all these years! Also. Peeps. This is an amazing Puck right here. Go give him love!
pianokeysandbowties back up 