What smirk? I have no idea what you’re talking about. Plus, what’s the fear all about, Blaine? Afraid if we meet glances too long you’ll realize you’ve been looking at the boy you’ve wanted all along? Stop overthinking && just let it happen. You’d be surprised where it could take you.
❜
“THATsmirk. The one you have right now. See? I told you it was coming. What? Fear? I’m not afraid. It’s not about being afraid. It’s about–nevermind. You’ve been ignoring what it’s about every time I bring it up. You think I’m holding myself back? Wait. Your answer is an obvious yes. Fine. Sate my curiosity. If you will? What makes you so insightful about me that you think you have figured me out enough to have that opinion? Apparently you’re seeing an awful lot in me that I’m failing to see in myself if that’s the case.”
The way Blaine stuttered was somehow so attractive, like he was nervous from admitting to feeling the same. At least that is what Sebastian convinced himself to be true. A small side smirk grows on his face. “ Cat got your tongue? Or maybe it’s just that you don’t know what to say—- “ Holding his cell phone between his shoulder && his ear, he reaches to slip off his hoodie, only to leave Sebastian in a tank top. If asked, he would claim that he had done this before, or that he was immensely experienced in the art of phone sex. But the truth was that he was new to this. Sebastian could use his smooth way with words to his advantage to make it seem as if he was an expert.
All he knew was that he couldn’t get his hopes up yet. Sebastian often used his sex appeal as his worth due to others never appreciating anything else about him, && he was afraid that he was way in over his head. Maybe Blaine would refuse && hang up, never talk to him again. But none the less, desire ran high on this night in particular && he didn’t allow his head to trail too far off before he was speaking into the phone again. The same purred tone of lust that he had an ability to naturally display. “ You don’t have to say anything, Blaine. Just think about how badly I want to hear you moan my name && we can start from there… “
After the dawning realization of the real reason why Sebastian was on the other end of the line purring into his ear hit home, Blaine felt his stomach tie in knots and he’d be lying if he said it was in an unpleasant way. He tried so hard not to let the sound of his next breath leaving him in a groan make it past the fist he’d balled up and put between his mouth and the phone. They talked about this. Blaine warned him that this conversation would never happen. Yet, days later..here they were. He should have known better. Maybe part of him did. That part that made his limbs tingle and a heat pool in his stomach. Both of which he tried his damnedest to ignore as he scooted around on the bed inching towards the edge. One foot touched down on the floor and came to a stop. “No, I don’t..I..” His toes lifted up, his leg bent back and he froze in place as a shudder ran up his spine. “We talked about this,” his throat was so dry that he had to lick his lips and the roof of his mouth before he could fully speak. “I told you I can’t,” his rushed whisper was a borderline plea.
The problem? He wasn’t sure what he was begging for anymore. Not as his brain spun in a whirl and he felt the sheets against his neck and the backs of his arms before he realized he’d laid back down again. Where did the last ten seconds go? They were wrapped up in Sebastian’s voice as he drew a whimper from Blaine that no hand could muffle.
A pained expression shut his eyes tight as he tried to forget about feeling every word Sebastian whispered when so much of him ached to listen. He tightened his grip on the phone with one hand and palmed over his mouth with the other. Where were his wits now that he needed a comeback to stop this before it got out of control? One pause, one breath. Or press of his finger and he could shut this down. Which was exactly what he needed to do. He almost did. Almost didn’t count the groan that escaped came out unfiltered. Blaine pressed his hips back against the mattress as one part of him that was heard in the way he spoke said even if he whispered, “You do realize what you’re asking me? That I won’t be able to take this back,” was nothing but an obvious disclaimer. A way for the side of him that knew this should stop to voice one last flimsy protest against the other half that had him grabbing a fistful of his shirt. A reaction that exposed a burning strip of skin above his waistband to cool it off. It, also, meant he was clinging onto his phone and to the voice on the other end of the line. Maybe just long enough to hear, just once, the opposite of what Sebastian’s request–his name moaned from Sebastian’s mouth–might sound like. If he kept control? It wasn’t going past the point he couldn’t take it back. Not yet.
“ What can I say? I’m one of a kind, Blaine. Nobody has a logic like me for a reason. The reason being I’m smarter than most people. Of course, that excludes you. You’re very smart, no need to lie about it. Which is why you should be able to see there’s no reason to get so nervous around me. You’re so tongue tied at this point that I didn’t even understand half of what you just said. You have to slow down there, killer. I don’t speak bashful schoolboy. “
“You are most definitely one of a kind. I can safely say I’ve never met anyone quite like you. I doubt I ever will. I’m glad you don’t think I’m a bumbling idiot. If you did? It’d be your fault for constantly saying things that momentarily turn me into one. I’m NOT nervous. That’s not it at all. I just can’t figure you out completely. Like you not understanding what I said. Was I being confusing? Or was it selective ‘misunderstanding’ of the parts you don’t want to acknowledge? Mainly where I mentioned I was taken and phone sex shouldn’t even be in yours and my vocabulary when it comes to having it with each other? I’m not bashful. I’m–I’m just saying I’m not going to–I mean I can’t–. Don’t you look at me like that, Sebastian. I can see the smirk in your eyes long before it hits your lips and there’s one brewing already. So–don’t you dare.”
‘WHAT. Howsthis fair?’ Sebastian frowned. Not at all amused with the news that the bar was closing. He frowned at Blaine, though he liked the arm around his waist, so he didn’t object to it, right then. He was still confused as Blaine spoke again, though he hummed then. ‘Gonna take me home, Blainers?? ’ He asked, in a pleased humming tone. ‘’ll go home w’you, Blainers. No. No coffee. Say it with me, Killer. Tequila. Little
───
cups. Things.
Tequila. No coffee.’ He repeated, to make sure he was being understood. He chuckled softly. ‘-Too small to be carryng me, killer.’ He tried to get his face on Blaine’s neck, but the bending made him feel nauseous so he gave it up. ‘Your like. The bEST. Gay. Hero. Killer. Way, best. Better. Best.’ Frown. ‘Than Rage.’
“How bout Tequil-a-no and coffee-a-yes?” He grinned at his joke? and then grunted trying to support the brunt of Sebastian’s sloppy self. The drunkard wasn’t heavy but his height and swaying? Made the need for fancy footwork to keep him upright. “Yes, I’ll take you home. No– it isn’t what you’re thinking. If you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking. Or will,” he bunched up his nose and gave Seb a ‘you didn’t follow much of that’ glance. He laughed as they staggered into fresh air. “Now–now you get how awkward this is! After we get past the crowd! Let’s try to make it to the sidewalk? And-that’s-my-neck!!”Sebastian’s nuzzling was another off-kilter throw to their weight balance. Blaine miraculously recovered and turtlenecked to ease away from Sebastian’s breath on his skin and pouted thinking the broken words over. “Best, gay and hero I get but–Rage? You mean Rachel? You’re losing me, buddy.” Where was the cab usually parked near the door? They could use it now!
“ Well, you know what they say. Bashful on the streets, freak in the sheets. Am I right? Oh wait a minute—- actually no. Nobody says that. Just me. But everything I say is pretty much right so practically the same thing. No worries though, I won’t make you admit to your fantasies, because I so already know they exist. “
“Uhm, no. I think you’re the– Exactly. You would be the only person in the world with that logic, Sebastian. Sure.. Sure! You’re not making me admit to anything because they don’t exist! Taken! Did you forget that between the last ten minutes and now? Even if you’re right? We’re not going to talk about it because of the same reason I just reminded you of. So it wouldn’t matter if I did or didn’t, which-i-don’t, anyway.”
He had dreamed of their lips meeting for so long. For Blaine Anderson to finally just admit that there was something there. That Sebastian wasn’t a lone wolf looking in the forest of a fantasy that was nothing. He knew it wasn’t really nothing. Sebastian could pick up on things as such, he knew when a chemistry was rising. He also knew when one was melting. && though he had done fucked up things, using Hunter as a jealousy tool, or meddling in between Blaine && Kurt— through all of those cruel actions, he was doing it for love. Love can blind someone, make them feel as if they are walking through a dark hallway, only a candlelight at the end. Sebastian had been stepping towards that candlelight this whole time. Just to have the boy he had been in love with since he first laid eyes on him. Sebastian hated cliche things, like love at first sight. He hated tradition, && love in general terrified him. But with Blaine, that was all pushed away. The artificial ego he used to boost himself as nothing more than a cold hearted snake melted all away when he looked in those hazel eyes. Things were different with Blaine Anderson. && that’s why he has never gave up on making him his.
He would be a new man for Blaine, he would show all of him; who he truly was underneath the devious actions. && that is exactly why Sebastian held the way their lips met for longer. He didn’t make it sloppy, or sexual. It was a passionate kiss full of emotion. One that said ‘please stay’. As he felt fingers clench onto his tie, he intensified the kiss into a deeper shade of words through body language. This was so much louder than words. Sebastian was falling into a trance of lost in time. Nothing else mattered now, nobody that may pass by even existed to him in this time. It was like the sun && moon rose && set a million times. It was like a drug he only could fantasize for so long, but this was finally it. He was finally kissing Blaine Anderson. It lasted for a moment longer until Sebastian just pulled away the slightest, keeping his lips against Blaine’s. Eyes stayed half shut, features soft as he rose a hand to the others cheek. Every move was delicate. Two fingers rubbed against Blaine’s skin slowly && lovingly, noses touching. Voice was genuine. “ You know how hard it is for me to make a proper apology… Just say that I can call you mine, Blaine. “
Ah, ok. This was what Sebastian’s lips felt like? Blaine could feel every part of him melt and yield to the kiss. His fist inched over enough that it could close completely around Sebastian’s tie using it as the only means he had to stay tethered to something solid enough to ground him. He needed that source of gravity. Anything that would hold him steady and keep a shred of common sense in him that would time the kiss to prevent it from becoming something so overwhelming that too much of him might bleed out he couldn’t take back once he fully convinced himself he needed to be the one to pull away. That’s how he went into the kiss. Holding onto a frame of mind that he’d give in because he couldn’t stand fighting the need he felt for it anymore. But only a little bit. Only enough that he could soothe the aching hunger inside both of them with a sample of what could be while preventing the disaster that might happen if he screwed up again. Losing Sebastian wasn’t an option. If he could only give them a few feet while playing pretend that it was enough to last them for miles? They were both pretty good liars to themselves up to this point so it wouldn’t be that horrible of a stretch for them to accomplish. Or so he told himself over and over in those first few brushes of skin on his mouth and puffs of warm breath on his cheek. His weight began to hang from that strip of fabric, pulling the taller boy down as he lifted up and— Sebastian’s tie fell from his fingers. The hold he wrapped around Sebastian’s shoulders was firm as he tilted his head and cracked his eyes partially open flicking a glance veiled partially by long, black lashes up to Sebastian’s softened features. The view stole his breath. Hello. It’s nice to meet you.. Where have you been all this time?
Sebastian didn’t do anything different in the seconds that passed but something between them changed on Blaine’s end. There wasn’t anymore pause. Or a tether tied to the tips of his shoes to keep him earthbound and be their anchor. Any amount of hesitation was gone and he let emotion leak into the kiss that had him choking on a whimper of letting go. Want me! I’ll stay if you ask me to! –his kiss screamed it and the way he cupped the back of Sebastian’s head with the tips of his fingers carding against his scalp begged him just as desperately. When Sebastian pulled back, he didn’t budge. Blaine’s tongue swept between their lips, licking across his own and touching Sebastian’s by default causing him to shudder at the taste. Finally, two slits of hazel peeked into a sea of green. Sebastian was hinging on an answer. Blaine’s gentle smile fell as a rock tugged his stomach to the floor. What he wanted and what he should do –two opposite things– flooded his mind. His thoughts jumped too far forward to an ending he doomed them to in seconds. It was a mistake, a slip of guilty-by-default that followed him since New York. Blaine’s throat went tight. A bitter flavor hit the back of his tongue. Even then? He held onto Sebastian and leaned until their noses docked with one another, kept his jaw bared for Sebastian’s touch and ran his fingertips along the other’s neck. “Sebastian,” he whispered, chest sinking as he traced the bridge of Sebastian’s nose with the edge of his. “I can’t let you do that. I want to. God I want to. But–I’m so scared I’ll ruin something..someone else I lo—care about. I’m not ready to risk that again. I’m sorry. I’m a horrible person, Seb. Please don’t hate me–but if you do? I’m really,” he gritted his teeth and rolled his eyes, “really good at giving someone a reason to.” His breath hitched, squinted eyes contradicted everything coming out of his mouth by pleading with Sebastian not to listen. To call him out. So much of him didn’t want to believe that about himself. But it was true. Right? Only awful people did what he did.. “I am trying so,” a frustrated scoff ghosted his lips over Seb’s mouth and he almost listened to his body yelling the want to fall right back into kissing him to prove how much he actually wanted what he was saying couldn’t happen, “hard not to give you an even bigger one.”
‘Blaine. Blainers. My Rage, gay superhero. With cute superhero ass. Need your help. I plan. On completely. Erasing tonight off of my head. Off of.’ He snorts, hanging on to Blaine’s shoulder. Problem: In order to accomplish that. Need more five tequila ─ things….. At least. ‘ A pause. ‘Annoying, pretty-cocked bartender cut’m off. Should go get ’em for me.’
“Uh–Sebastian! Hey, hi..woah, buddy!” Someone was six sheets to the wind and it wasn’t him. One arm wrapped around Sebastian’s waist to help him stay upright. No way was Blaine going to pull his drunk behind up off the floor. Awkwardly patting Sebastian’s chest, he swung them away from the direction of the bar and bowed his head in a solemn nod. “Huh… I think he cut you off cause it was last call about ten minutes ago. Why don’t you let me get home. We could get coffee on the way? That sounds better? Yeah?”
Superhero ass? What defines a superhero ass? Some things are better left untouched. Figuratively and literally.
“ Are you sure? Your stuttering tells me otherwise. But no worries, Blaine. You don’t have to be ashamed about it. We all have dirty thoughts. In fact, you should take pride in them. So just admit it, you’ve totally thought about us together. Super hot. “
“I’m not stuttering. Okay-maybe-a-little but can you blame me? Do you hear yourself right now? Listen. I’m not admitting to whatever fantasy you have in mind about my fantasies. Super hot or not. You’re crazy if you think I’m going to sit here and go right along with you. I’m too–what did you call me–bashful for that. Remember? Your words not mine.”
Blaine’s affinity for finding any surface that could be hopped, climbed or jumped onto was no secret to anyone that knew him for more than, say, a day or two? Today was no different. Even if it was just him and Seb practicing, Blaine was soon lost enough in their rendition of Runaway Baby that a desk older than the state of Ohio wasn’t given a second thought on being turned into a perch for him to vault up onto and keep on dancing. His trust in the soles of his shoes giving him enough friction –because when do they not? probably when the wax on the desktop was fresh enough to see your reflection in.– was sorely mistaken. He hit the varnish in a fantastic slide and just–kept–going.
Lightning fast reflexes or not, his hands waved in the air for something to grab onto and nothing was there. Desperate feet scrambled to find their footing that was a no go, keep on dreaming wish. Momentum zipped him right over the edge and the only thing that was rushing towards him to stop his fall was.. Sebastian!
A loud yelp reminiscent of no! save yourself! in volume later? The wind was knocked out of him when he landed, jarring to an abrupt yet not hard-as-the-floor but very awkwardly positioned stop. On—top—of Sebastian Smythe who took the brunt of their fall with his back. Blaine’s knees hit the floor on either side of Sebastian’s thighs and— When did he end up hugging him tight enough that his arms were still wrapped around Sebastian’s shoulders after the fall? “Seb! I’m–!” Breathless and panting as he tried to catch some air, Blaine pushed himself up on one wiggled free palm and stared down at the poor Warbler plastered between him and the floor. That was when his efforts for catching his breath failed. Their eyes met, Blaine tuned into their position, the fact he had yet to move and blushed deep. “Are you okay? I–should get up.” Easier said than done when the smallest shift of his hips to try caused his stomach to spark and sent a static charge through every nerve. Blaine’s mouth opened, stayed that way then stuttered to say something–anything. “Definitely.” Anytime now.
pianokeysandbowties back up 