“… Yeah. Let’s just… Cab.” Sebastian’s voice was rough as he tried to swallow it down and motioned outside with a short nod, press of lips, and that small commiserate pop of jaw that tugged his lips down of whenever he – if rarely – sourly admitted defeat. there was no victory against Blaine, there never had been. Sebastian was screwed the moment Blaine walked into that rehearsal room, or even before that, the moment someone said his name, Trent maybe, Blaine Anderson, and for a moment, an entire group of boys perked up, time slowed down, and faces lit up with an admiration that made him feel empty. He’d been hungry for more of Blaine, to fill that void ever since. Because as used as he’d been with people in awe of him, his whole life, no one had ever looked at him the way those boys looked like when talking about their ex leader, and at first it’d made Sebastian want them to. And then, after meeting Blaine, after getting WHY, it’d just made him wish, every day, that Blaine would know he was THERE. For more than five minutes, or a quick text.
This part was sickeningly easy, and maybe that was the worst of it. A hand fell on the small of Blaine’s back like breathing, a comfortable distance, enough to be friendly, and Sebastian quickly guided him outside, before they could gather anymore unwanted attention. A few more steps, a quick text to one of his on call cab drivers, and before he could think about it, one was parking in front of them. Sebastian opened the door for Blaine, second nature at this point really, and waited for him to go in before slipping in, himself, and giving the driver the right address. As the car took off, he was already booking them a room in his phone. And once he was done, he just stared at the screen, lost.
He felt numb.
When had he got here? It doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you. He wanted to laugh. Only it did. It did bother him. When Blaine had first come knocking on his door that night, Sebastian had thought the worst of it was knowing he’d finally chosen to cheat, and decided to do it with someone else, that he wasn’t even attracted enough to Sebastian for THAT. He’d been wrong. This was worse. Even if he didn’t fully understand why yet. He didn’t reach out. Didn’t try to touch, though he glanced at him, as the cab rolled through Westerville. His green eyes small with doubt, thin as his lips, and the skin between his thumb and curled forefinger. He pinched his nose and cleared his throat as the cab stopped. “We’re here.” He paused and looked at him. “You sure you wanna do this, killer?” He might not be sure what they were going to do, but he knew Blaine and he knew whatever they did, or didn’t do, Blaine would carry it with him for the rest of his fairytale life with Kurt. And as much as Sebastian hated the thought of their perfect marriage, he didn’t want the fault in it to be his, either.
Relief flooded in when Sebastian mentioned a cab. As short lived as it was bound to be given this entire, messed up situation–Blaine needed just a little more time. Just a little more selfishly begged for and reluctantly given time. He’d taken so much of Sebastian’s time already. Wasted it on friendship that maybe couldn’t last past the the things they did that Blaine promised himself wouldn’t ruin them. That they promised wouldn’t tear them down to nothing and it had. Hadn’t it? Looking at Sebastian’s profile, seeing the way he caved in defeat for something that he used to give so happily because being around one another as friends was better than being without each other period, was all the confirmation he needed. A blind man could see that much without barely a glance. They were ruined and if this was goodbye? There was no way in hell Blaine was going to say it in the middle of a coffee shop. Not like that. Never.
Being guided by Sebastian’s hand, Blaine followed where he was lead. Glad to be away from anyone listening or watching, hesitant eyes shifted their glare towards the cement and up to Sebastian’s mouth again. Was it still pulled tight? With the paper thin line between his lips and burrowed brows? Yeah. It was. What was horrible was that the looks that Blaine used to feel his soul come to life when he was given them were long gone now. Blaine couldn’t remember when the last time Sebastian looked at him so teasingly, so happily, and with that devil may cry charm mixed with just enough ot raunchy sarcasm that Blaine felt his head spin dizzy from excitement instead of starting to throb at the temples sharp enough that the leather and coffee smell inside the cab made him nauseated. Sure. Blame it on the smell. Another lie to believe. Like the one where Sebastian wasn’t doing this because he wasn’t wired to say no to him.
He felt sick.
Blaine didn’t do anything to break the silence during the ride. He’d gone from watching Sebastian to the color change of his fingertips as he dug the edge of his left thumbnail under the right like it was the most fascinating thing on the planet. A sharp gasp and Blaine jerked his head towards Sebastian. Surprised, round eyes blinked like he hadn’t realized the car came to a stop and they arrived until Sebastian spoke up. Killer. His bottom lip shoved itself against it’s match and he swallowed a golf ball sized lump in his throat. “Y-Yeah. Let’s go inside. Don’t have to stay long. I promise. I just need..,” clamping his mouth shut, his gaze shot towards the cabbie and then to Sebastian and he decided he’d wait until they had their room to say anything else. Judging by how wobbly his tone was? The former Warbler might need the break from talking anyway.
❝What…??” He rose an eyebrow at the boy’s pause, though he could tell what he was thinking, and he showed it next. “I’d stop thinking you’re a good diversion?” He bit on his tongue. He wondered if in midst of it all, Blaine had ever really stopped to THINK about the WAYS in which Sebastian would always insult him. Was it really that bad when they were all about the hyper, sunshine, persona Blaine put forward, and when Sebastian actually enjoyed his truer, more ambitious, and less nicey-nice self? Maybe he just wanted to see what would happen if the boy stopped pretending, if he stopped LETTING people trample all over him, and took what he wanted with the weapons he already had, and the will he knew was in there somewhere, underneath the glasses and all the hair gel.
“Because your stupide American school thinks I’m an imbecile for not knowing all the details to American history? Because it’s too hard for them to comprehend that I might be able to answer complex physics and socioeconomic’s questions a whole damn better if they allowed me to study in French?” He shrugs. “Because they think I need nerd training, when all I really needed was extra time and a few additional French text books.” He notices Blaine’s fists mid-through his rambling and stops. “Are you going to hit me, Jiminy? Kindly avoid the nose, I’d rather not get a third surgery on it.” He wasn’t stupid, no matter what the dean thought, and he knew Blaine practiced boxing, and he’d never taken self defense classes in his life. He wasn’t afraid either, he’d been beaten too many times to care anymore, but he waited, to see what the other would do. And then… nothing.
He seemed to crumble, looking down, and then he was agreeing with Sebastian’s proposition, or order, for lack of a better word. He shot him a surprised glance, specially at the words that came next. “Join the club, charming.” He pointed out, saying Blaine wasn’t the only one that wanted out of this bizarre situation sooner, rather than later. Sebastian wasn’t used to needing ANY kind of tutoring and this was really exasperating to say the least.
As they started walking, he focused his attention ahead, one hand easily caught on the strap of his backpack, and the other swaying besides him with his step, finger contracting and relaxing like a rhythm, the colorful lights dancing on and out of his face. When Blaine finally spoke again he didn’t look, but his step got tenser for a moment, before he forced out a chuckle and spoke again. “I think that’s what you’d like to think you are. I think you waste whole lot of freaking time trying to get there.” He glances at him, the frown, the unsettled expression, the shifting, but also the grit and want to prove Sebastian wrong that attract him so much more than the good two shoes routine. “Still get nightmares about your I, Robot, performance, last parents-teachers conference night.” He paused to take a good look at him. “I rather like you like this.” He smirked, leading him upstairs as they reached the dorms. “We’re doing it at my place.” He didn’t want anyone seeing him getting tutored and getting ideas from it.
Frustrated. He was confused and frustrated and it was only getting worse.
Diversion? The confusion that made Blaine’s head spin before he opened his mouth only doubled in the ways it played out on his face. Brows creased together tight and he opened his lips to say something a good couple of times before words actually happened. When they did? A faint hint of crimson spread over the bridge of his nose and warmed his cheeks. “No. Not a.. Why would you say I was a diversion? A diversion to what exactly? You being bored? Focusing on yourself instead of on me and all the faults I have that you love to point out?” Did Sebastian make himself feel better with every little dig about his personality, thoughts, feelings that he took? He must. Because they weren’t stopping. Blaine might pride himself on his ability to keep a mostly level head in any given circumstance when it came to people like Sebastian Smythe but even he had his limits. Sebastian seemed quite intent on pushing him over them. Happy to do so even.
This entire conversation was borderlining on ridiculous at this point. Maybe they should cut their losses. Come up with a plan that they could both say they did what the Dean made him promise and be done with each other. Sebastian wouldn’t get kicked off the lacrosse team, which Blaine isn’t sure Sebastian knows will happen if his grades don’t improve. And he could focus on The Warblers so they could win Sectionals. Win/Win. If you asked him. He had no idea how tight his hands were getting. Or how the color that’d bled from his knuckles had now left them beyond pale as the crescent shapes of his nails started to dig into the flesh of his palm. He was, also, clueless that his eyes were darker and his back teeth were grinding together. Until Sebastian pointed it out by asking him… “Hit you,” a strained whisper before his upper lip curled in disbelief. Dark lashes fluttered as he rapidly blinked and the shadows in his stare lifted. “No. I’d never.. I’m not like that.” It was just.. Sebastian always managed to find buttons Blaine didn’t even know he had. Then proceed to push (no slam) every. single. one.
Eye contact broken, a visibly increasingly shaken Blaine kept at Sebastian’s side not once looking up from the marble passing by underneath his feet. Barely listening to the answer to his question as his head swam with the idea that his arm ached from holding himself back the way he must have. How he knew as soon as he left Sebastian’s company, he’d be in the gym until he couldn’t lift his arms anymore. Let alone swing. How’d he let Sebastian take him to that place? Drag him down that far? He shook his head and lifted one hand to hold the strap of his satchel right at the shoulder. “I think you waste a lot of your time thinking you know me well enough to even guess you know what I’d like to think of myself as. You don’t know anything about me that matters enough to have even a clue. Stop thinking you do.”
“Like that. Stop thinking you have a clue as to why I might have been on the only autopilot I know that night that’ll make things..,” he cut himself off and abruptly changed the subject. Blaine figured they were going to his room. Why would Sebastian suggest otherwise? Wouldn’t it be too big of a risk that someone might drop by and might see him there? You know? “Your room? Why your room? Aren’t you worried someone might see me following you there? I wouldn’t want you to risk that.” You could practically taste the sarcasm dripping from his lips. Finally looking up at him, the Warbler rolled his eyes and dismissed having the energy to argue with an upward twitch of the fingers near his shoulder. “Whatever. Let’s go,” he rolled his eyes and waited for Sebastian to take the lead.
send in a ❣ for a random kiss. (in your case not so random. lol!)
Okay. Maybe. Maybe! It was cheesy, but this was their first Valentine’s Day together. Blaine’s favorite holiday. Sebastian could grumble all he wanted about February 14th (when Blaine knew, deep down, Sebastian was as excited for it as he was..or..er..so he hoped?), he was going to get the full dose of what it was like to experience Blaine Anderson-style Valentine’s Day. Whether he wanted to or not. And it was going to start no later than when Sebastian’s alarm went off. Blaine had already let himself inside the apartment before dawn. Using close to superhero level stealth, Sebastian’s apartment was transformed into well..what could only be described as Party Depot’s cupid aisle throwing up from ceiling to floor in bright red, white, even pink (fushia) trimmings.
Balloons, bright glistening streamers that hung from the top of his bedroom door to the floor. A massive vase of roses sat on the kitchen table with two bottles of champagne and brand new flutes with crimson hearts in their stems. Blaine could have gone the much more tasteful route. Sure. He’d actually PLANNED on it. However. The more Sebastian seemed to roll his eyes or resist all of Blaine’s crazy thoughts about the day? The more determined to go off the wall Blaine decided to be. Complete with obnoxiously huge teddy bear in the corner that he was hiding behind. Please! No comment on how he managed to pull off fitting back there!
A note taped to the wall outside the bedroom was followed by a series of other arrows and ‘this way’s until the path broke away and a trail of gummy hearts lead up to the brown stuffed animal with it’s huge round eyes. red bow around it’s neck and a sign sitting on his legs reading KISS ME in Blaine’s handwriting. No sign of the guilty party whatsoever. He didn’t even answer when Sebastian said his name.
Blaine could sense him close. Did he figure him out? Didn’t matter! When the soft sound of Sebastian’s ‘hmmm’ felt as close as he could possibly get without thinking this was dumb and pulling away. An arm jutted out from around the bear’s neck. Fingers curled around a pale wrist and pulled him half for leverage so Blaine could roll up onto his knees while pulling Sebastian down. The poor teddy bear toppled onto it’s side as their lips crashed together and a delighted Blaine held Sebastian close, his lips not daring to pull away. GOT YOU!
“Sebastian. That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about. Kurt has his quirks and routines. They just h-help make him the unique person..he..is..” Sebastian was doing that THING again. You know? That thing. The one where he ends up tangling Blaine’s tongue to the point he was sure if he stuck it out? It’d be in a knot. Or several.
Stuttering to catch up, Blaine swallowed and felt like his face had become the surface of the sun all in a blink. God, he hated it when he got this behind on the banter game. It was almost impossible to get back to Sebastian’s speed. Then Sebastian trashed his efforts with that name. Onethat made Blaine’s insides flip for reasons he’d rather not think about. “You really said that..? Put it right out there like that.. Just.. Wow. Right when I thought you couldn’t amaze me more than two seconds ago? You, somehow, manage to pull it off.”
Sebastian’s eyelids fluttered, long eyelashes shadowing the freckles on his face as he leaned into Blaine’s touch like oxygen. He all but nuzzled into his palm, squeezing his eyes against the mirrored look on Blaine’s face, not wanting to see him hurt for a second, even by the IDEA of being in pain. He breathed in, and the scent of Blaine’s moisturizer and fresh, crisp, cologne ran down to his lungs like fresh, cold water, and he opened his eyes again so he could look at that gorgeous face, and revel in it. No one in that world could had made him feel as much fear as the idea of losing Blaine. Not when Sebastian already knew an ounce of the pain he’d face, and to only try to imagine that amplified tenfold made his throat all but almost collapse before he pushed the thought away, firmly, grounding himself on the grasp of Blaine’s wrist and the strong stream of warm blood under it.
He didn’t even crinkle his nose, in natural reaction, when Blaine called him honey, just so ridiculously happy to have Blaine there to call him every single pet name in the book. He did let out an amused, relief breath, though, when Blaine covered him in kisses and pressed a tight kiss to his lips in return, some anxiety still lingering in the way his lips ached as he did. The way Blaine touched his neck made more goosebumps than usual sprout on Sebastian’s skin, the ex Warbler suddenly painfully aware of everything about his husband, from the way the speckles of gold mixed in his eyes, to the way each particular fingertip felt running down his skin. “You’re all I got.” He blurted out, before he could control himself, voice rough. “My dad’s… She’s gone. You’re all I’ve got, Blaine, you’re everthi—” He clicked his jaw shut, leaning in as Blaine pulled him and breathing steadily now as he finally started to calm down, the adrenaline rush wearing out. “You always were.” Even before, when he’d though Blaine hadn’t wanted him, Sebastian had loved him fiercely. And he’d rather have a world where Blaine wasn’t his but was IN it, than ever have to live with the fact this world didn’t contain Blaine Anderson anymore. He nodded softly, almost unaware, obeying the command without thought as his eyes stayed lost inside Blaine’s. “I love you.” He breathed out, so softly he wondered if Blaine heard it. “So…. Damn. Much. Killer.” He breathed in, roughly now, as he pushed forward to press his forehead against Blaine’s temple, closing his eyes.
“Shhh. I have you. See?” Legs that were already tight around Sebastian’s middle drew him closer to the counter so he could lean in and kiss the corner of his mouth softly. Blaine felt heartbroken seeing Sebastian struggling to get those horrid thoughts out of his head. He’d do anything for some supernatural ability to dig into this thoughts, take out that moment where he’d thought the most awful thing that could happen between them had happened. This wasn’t fair. Sebastian didn’t deserve to have any awful pictures flooding his mind. Or go through the pain and ache that someone accidentally put him through. He was just trying to go to work, get his job done and come home. Not have his life twisted sideways by a careless mistake.
Frustration and anger followed the initial shock and immediate worry that followed seeing his husband in the state he was in when he rushed through the door. Being powerless to do anything about it other than comfort him felt so..awful. His fingers didn’t stop tracing around Sebastian’s face, neck, hair and ears. Anywhere they wanted to roam, he let them.
Frustration and anger followed the initial shock and immediate worry that followed seeing his husband in the state he was in when he rushed through the door. Being powerless to do anything about it other than comfort him felt so..awful. His fingers didn’t stop tracing around Sebastian’s face, neck, hair and ears. Anywhere they wanted to roam, he let them in hopes of draining the last of the adrenaline out with a simple caress somehow. His eyes burned when Sebastian struggled to get out everything that Blaine always knew. “
I know, Sebastian. I know. We’re each other’s everything. Remember? ” Heart breaking more by the second, he kept eye contact until Sebastian got so close he couldn’t anymore. “I love you, too.” A purposefully steady hand cupped Sebastian’s cheek, fingers spread so he could hook his thumb just under Sebastian’s jawline and pull him back just far enough to stare into his eyes without saying another word. I’m here. I’m yours. You’re mine. We’re safe. All inside hazel and gold surrounded by wet and red that he wished wasn’t there. Blaine nodded slowly just to make his point clear then leaned in closer. Closer. His lips touched Sebastian’s with a cautious softness, thumb moving to stroke his cheek while the tips of the rest of his fingers ran through and over his hair and skin. What was supposed to be a peck lingered long past that and grew stronger. When words wouldn’t work the rest of the way? Maybe this would.
“Sebastian!” There came that heat spreading over his nose and cheeks that the boy never ceased to be able to cause within minutes of opening his mouth. Today? His Warbler friend was in rare form. Considering it took all of two seconds to put it there. Might even be a new record!
Blaine stuttered, fully unprepared to play the game of keeping up so soon into them seeing one another face to face. He should know BETTER. “You.. You were, seriously, born without a filter. Weren’t you? Does that word even exist in your vocabulary?”
The burn of his last drink was still inside his mouth when he sat himself down on the floor of the closet he just so happened to end up inside with Sebastian on the very first round of the game the Warblers were all too eager to play. Shut away from the rest of the world in their secret little hideaway, Sebastian and a few others snuck in the liquor. And the rest? As they say. Was history. With a thud, he felt Sebastian join him and he blinked down at him with a look of puzzlement etched on his flushed face. “Weird how this ended up you and me two seconds into the game,” Blaine smirked making his thoughts sort of obvious. Did Sebastian set this up? Was this idea all his to begin with?
Then his mouth got warm and he could taste the coppery flavor spreading up into his nostrils and he practically melted down onto the floor beside the long, lean body pressed so very close to his. “Almost like it was rigged,” the heels of his palms dug into his eyes but his lazy smile said he didn’t mind. Not too much. “You wouldn’t do that.. Would you?” They both knew pretty damn well Sebastian would. Blaine was simply the master of skipping right to oblivious when he needed to. This point in time was a good example of when he needed to.
But with a turn, Sebastian’s nose was right in front of his. Green eyes made sparkling by too much to drink and that glint that never quite left them met his and Blaine lost his ability to joke. Instead what came out were stuttered puffs of air that was supposed to be a chortle. Those died out two seconds in when instead of watching Sebastian watching him, he didn’t realize he’d skipped down to watching Sebastian’s mouth and his Cheshire Cat grin..and how Sebastian’s tongue dipped out to swipe off a tiny taste of expensive liquor off the corner of his lips. Oh god. Blaine’s finger lifted up to get the rest. The pad of it pressed to Sebastian’s bottom lip. He choked out an, “I got it…,” before absentmindedly sucking the flavor off his skin. A quiet sound left his throat before he could bit the tip of his finger to keep it at bay.
The look on Sebastian’s face was a blend of mischief and shock.. What did he just do?
none of what blaine was imagining had ever passed through sebastian’s head. honestly, sebastian wasn’t used to think of things from that angle. to ever think of someone taking advantage of him. he never had, and honestly the thought would have made him laugh. even when he was younger and he’d gone out to bars seeking older men he never thought of it that way. he was usually the one after people, which was why his thoughts went first to if HE had done something wrong. and when blaine said it like that, it clicked. blaine WASN’T mad at him at sebastian for kissing him. and that was all that mattered to him.
his heart was throbbing. his eyes darkened with so many piled up emotions he could barely breathe or see clearly. vision hazed with the weight of years of untold things and unquenched needs. all that time he had spent convincing himself blaine didn’t want him and never would, convincing himself that he would never be good enough to be wanted by blaine. and now… all he saw was blaine as he stared ahead, the boy he’d loved for so long in bright colors, and the rest of the world, a blur. he had kissed blaine. blaine had kissed him back.
when sebastian moved, it was like a whirlwind. he strolled through the kitchen, pushing the box of eclairs aside so abruptly it tumbled off, but he didn’t even pause, didn’t even notice, couldn’t have. he grabbed blaine’s clothes like he could tear them apart, lunged him forward hard, and crashed with blaine. crashed him with his mouth, crashed him with chest and teeth, and with his need. crashed him with all the things he had always wanted to say and that had left him hoarse, stuck in his throat for so long. crashed him with his aching relief, and barely there hope. hope that blaine wouldn’t push him away this time. that just THIS TIME blaine would kiss him back like he said he had, and sebastian would FINALLY know what that felt like. what being kissed by blaine felt like.
blaine’s shirt scrapped his palm with the need of his burying nails, sebastian’s tongue swiped refined sugar and cream from blaine’s lips, and the next step blaine gave forward, sebastian had him with an arm around his lower back. i got you. he had got blaine for the last four years. he breathed hard, chest pushing outwardly against the hands over it, and a shudder came over him when blaine actually made a sound. and then he was being kissed back.
sebastian let go of his shirt and grabbed his face with the same need as his heart exploded. he pulled back only to change sides and kiss him deeper, fit them better, press them harder. his closed eyelids fluttered and his eyebrows were screwed together so tight they hurt, his breath quickly leaving him for blaine’s lips. sebastian stopped.
he opened his green eyes at blaine just enough to look at him, at his beautiful face, closer than sebastian had ever been before. and then he started to lean in again, eyes weighing closed once more as he repressed their lips with the gentlest of pressures, carefully pushing blaine’s lips apart with his own to lace them, and sucking slowly. his thumb ran the line of his cheek bone. if this was the only kiss he was ever gonna get, he wanted to do this right.
The world was a dizzying spin around the two of them that stole Blaine’s sense of gravity and tethered it to the arm that fit snuggly around his waist. He has me. He’s always had me. But never once like this. Drunken kiss in the car aside? For four years, Blaine never once caved. Never once let himself cross that line with the man who made him so confused and tongue tied. Unsteady and unsure of everything he thought he wanted with one simple stare, voice that dug it’s way into his very bones and a devilish smile that quickened his pulse. But made everything else feel like it stopped to stare longer than he should ever stare at someone who looked at him like that.
So, Sebastian’s hold was exactly what he craved and it came at the exact time when he was sure that if he didn’t have it? He’d be floating off to outer space without a single hope of coming back down again. All because of one simple kiss that left him blindly drifting away and falling into the taste of Sebastian’s mouth against his, his breath brushing along his cheek and the way he held him steady when he needed it most.
Blaine’s fingers began to shake. Even as he held two fistfuls of Sebastian’s shirt clenched into them so tight it’d be wrinkled when he finally let go. The soft sound he’d made when their mouths first connected melted away into something lower, caught between a breath out between the cracks of their mouths so he could swallow more air and the tease of the groan that was building up desperately inside the pit of his stomach. One that escaped when Blaine couldn’t hold it in anymore. And it drifted from deep inside him into Sebastian’s mouth where his tongue ached to explore even deeper.
He took his time catching up to Sebastian’s demand and need, enough that he still hadn’t tasted him completely before Sebastian’s hands were on his face and Blaine was on his tiptoes, not realizing they were nearly stepping on the tips of Sebastian’s with how close he’d gotten. The pause drew his eyes barely open as his kiss began to match Sebastian’s depth and ache, two slivers of hazel and gold cracking to stare in a daze up through the veil of thick, dark lashes at Sebastian’s lips as if he had some supernatural power to make them come back with just a glance. This couldn’t end. Who knew when it would happen again?
Sebastian Smythe could get inside his head. Blaine always thought he could but never would admit to such a thing. Too much power handed over to someone who might run away with it and leave him wondering how he might ever get it back and knowing full well Sebastian wouldn’t let it go if he gave it to him or should he let his guard completely down long enough for him to steal it. And he already has before… So say the sleepless nights spent after their conversations where he laid staring at the shadows on his ceiling trying to piece together how one person–a person he wasn’t even with–could make him question so much while seeming to give him so many answers to others he didn’t want to admit were there.
He did it just now too. Lulling Blaine’s eyes closed as he felt him draw nearer in time with Sebastian’s opening leaving Blaine unaware he was being looked at as his lips parted, expecting and waiting and… Then they were taken again, nudged open and they fell apart so easily with a cant of his head and a shudder that ran all the way to his toes as his cheek was caressed and he felt Sebastian sucking against his mouth. Blaine yielded to it, slipping his tongue inside to graze against Sebastian’s and flick against the roof of his mouth. A shock of electricity moved through his veins and his hands lifted up, the tips of his fingers danced over Sebastian’s hairline before their long lengths buried into his hair. Deeper still and he was certain he tasted heaven there. His heart banged against his rib cage like a hammer and he didn’t care he couldn’t breath anymore. Or about moving as slow when his hands tightened into fists, pulled Sebastian’s mouth tighter.
Please..don’t stop. Not yet. If a moment could last forever. Now would be a good time..
sebastian raised curious, confused, green eyes as the doctor walked in, and then they widened for a moment. oh. so he HADN’T imagined blaine there, after all. blaine had actually… he felt the urge to groan and bury his face in his hands. he tried to scramble through his memory to find out if he’d said anything EMBARRASSING, while bleeding on the sidewalk. he thought he remembered telling blaine he missed him, and he hoped to hell that was just inside his own head. he couldn’t have, could he? then again, none of this made any fucking sense. like the fact he’d actually walked into a cab with a drunk driver and never even noticed. have you been here all this time? he wanted to ask, but it felt pointless, and he wouldn’t get into it in front of the doctor.
❝so what’s wrong with – ?’ he asked, before the doctor could even speak, seizing the man with tired distrust. he’d never liked doctors much, since they were always trying to FIX him. he stopped short on his words, though, at what he heard NEXT, never finishing his sentence ( … me? ). he stared at the doctor in disbelief. lips parted, and almost dreaded turning his head to the side, to meet BLAINE, though he felt like he couldn’t help it, as his attention was dragged to the side.betrothed? betrothed?!!his eyes said as they met caramel ones, color coming to his face like it never happened, and burning it up with complete shock. he had actually- blaine had not only stayed, he’d lied to do so, which had got to be eating up inside him, if sebastian knew him any. and he still DID. did he feel THAT much pity? sebastian didn’t get it. the doctor was still speaking but his ears were ringing.
only when the man started speaking to him, again, did he tear his sarcastic expression and raised eyebrows out of blaine, and onto him, but the other didn’t seem to have noticed anything. sebastian stared a little vacantly as he spoke, only relieved that blaine’s comment hadn’t really meant anything as it seemed, and he was going to be fine. he sunk back onto the pillows and closed his eyes for a moment, nodding some, before opening them again as the doctor left. he’d have to stay at the hospital for at least one day more, until they were sure his lungs would be fine, and then he’d have to stay bandaged and caring for his ribs for a while, and probably use some kind of support on his dislocated fingers. he pressed his lips slowly as the door closed, and bit on them hard as he stared at it.
‘you told them.’ he started very slowly. ‘i’m your fiancé?’ he more stated, than asked, before turning his head towards the other, eyebrows up on his hairline, as though saying are you INSANE? he huffed out a bitter laughter and shook his head as he brushed his face. this had got to be a joke. the entire thing. a sick joke from the universe. ‘you gotta be KIDDING me.’ he mumbled, muffled, into his bruised hands. he dropped them. ‘so when can i expect peakurt to walk in and make a scene?’
Blaine didn’t realize that under the intense weight of Sebastian’s unwavering, righteously shocked ‘what the flying hell’ stare that he’d begun to wring his hands together. Fingers gripping palms and scraping back and forth in white knuckled tenseness. Who could blame him? Even if he couldn’t bare being looked at the way Sebastian was looking at him now by anyone.. The sheer intensity of the gaze directly right into his deer-caught-in-the-headlights eyes would have been enough to give him a complex about it if he hadn’t had one years before. His biggest problem wasn’t the bubble of guilt that lying put in his belly the previous day that kept growing the longer he sat in silence throughout the night. Or that it was an absolutely INSANE idea to say what he said in the first place (but Sebastian was hurt and he was desperate to make sure he was okay and not leave him alone–so what other options did he have??).
Still. Both of those issues were small-cheese compared to the scenario that blurred into his mind and slowly became clearer and clearer with each breath the doctor took. How Sebastian was going to react to this (aside from the stunned expression and increasingly red tint to his pale, freckled skin) was so up in the air and he couldn’t figure it out because he was on the verge of a panic attack just thinking about the next ten minutes. Blaine barely heard the doctor finish giving Sebastian the rundown of what was going to happen past the explanation of his injuries. His mind was too busy elsewhere and the voice in the room sounded muffled. Like his head was buried in a pillow and he had the sides pulled up to block out his ears. If only he was that lucky.
He was sorry. Sorry that he used that reason to be here. Sorry that he didn’t tell the truth. However, what he was sorriest about? Was that Sebastian found out. Yes, he was dumb enough to not think of the consequences. But he had no time and hoped that he might be able to skim past the reason he was being given so much leeway to stay by chalking it up to politeness going a long way. Or something equally as flimsy but hopefully-might-work-worthy. Cat out of the bag having come and gone? They were alone and he had the rippling thunder of the door shutting still echoing in his brain when the relief he felt from Sebastian giving the doctor his attention was gone and it was right back on himself.
“Y-Yeah. I..did,” he answered matching Sebastian’s voice and with a cramp snapping his attention back to his hands that hadn’t stopped moving, he grabbed onto both tight and shoved them between his thighs practically underneath them. Long lashes veiling his eyes from sight fluttered to show he was searching for the answer of what to say next in the weave of his pants and coming up empty handed. Looking back up wasn’t an option and he kept his head down. “They wouldn’t let me,” his voice trailed off as he skipped yet another part of potential awkwardness and clung to the mess he was in instead, “stay here if I didn’t…say something. I didn’t want to leave. Kurt isn’t coming. No one is.” His gaze lifted but he kept his chin tucked down. “I asked them not to. I’m sorry…I did this. I only.. I wanted to stay.”
sebastian felt like his lips were duct-taped, and somewhere inside his head, something was screaming, but nothing ever came out. all those little things he might had wanted to say to the other, running around his head in loops, weren’t even allowed to be thought of most of the time. sebastian couldn’t dwell on them, much less say any of them out loud. anything he said would put an end to this, whatever that was (friendship?). and anything that put an end to having blaine exactly where he was, around him, wasn’t something he was prepared to do or say. after those two years, he still couldn’t believe his luck that blaine would even talk to someone like him. and if THIS, whatever it was, was all he got, then he was thankful.
he’d never been one for half truths, or polite remarks. as blaine well knew from their first up conversation, straight-forward had always been his way. but ever since the whole mess between them had gone down, and blaine had barely even wanted to see him again, sebastian had started lying. something that, contrary to popular belief, he didn’t do unless it was towards authority figures, or for rumor fun. specially not with a smile and a dismissive attitude. but THAT boy. the one that – now – only hit on blaine to make him feel better, and listened, and welcomed him any time he wanted into his door, without expecting anything back, that boy was the boy blaine needed, and to be quite honest, sebastian would have tap-danced naked on wall street if blaine had needed him to. and so he lied. easily and on stride. because that was what their relationship had become the last year. blaine talked, and he lied. it was a derisive routine they liked to follow, and sebastian wasn’t about to break it. because at least it meant blaine was there to be lied TO.
blaine was going to get enough crap from the muppets and their loud, loud, leader, once that blew up, as he knew it would, since none of them could keep their private lives, private. he didn’t need any from him too. blaine needed neutral ground. and sebastian would give it to him, and whatever else that could possibly make this better.
❝no way you know what your booty call style will be forty years from now, killer. i’ll bet five hundred on you staying the hottest of all.’ he winked. he wished he could be his young self meeting blaine THEN. maybe older blaine would like him. at least for a couple of nights. he shook away the stray thought, then smiled at the other. ‘who needs a spank bank when we got THIS?’ he asked, as he found the first captain america movie and put it to play. ‘i can grab us ice cream, if you’re too hungry to wait.’ he proposed. biting the inside of his lip as he saw blaine getting so comfortable in his home.
a twinge of longing in his lungs.
Bare toes peeked out from the edge of the blanket once he finally got it and the pillows he rested back against–sitting with his legs stretched out across the mattress to be as comfy as possible–perfectly in place. Blaine wriggled them back and forth and watched them move instead of looking up immediately. It was a means of grounding himself and battling past the idea that he should leave once and for all. He managed to shut down the afterthought of how long it was proper to stay as soon as stopped. A jumbled brain was what he came here to escape…and he was making a mess out of the attempt at this rate.
A half-hearted laugh, embarrassedly flattered as always though, scrunched the edges of his eyes together as he dared to unglue his eyes from his toes and fix his attention back on Sebastian. “Me? Are you serious? Highly doubtful. I’d take that bet if there was any way to prove it. I mean, we’re going to disagree on who the winner is. I’d say it was you. You’d say it was me. We’d argue. No one would ever get the pay out. Plus? Who gets to be the judge? But…,” he sighed and pulled the covers up to pool around his waist not realizing he’d been fidgeting with the edge of the blanket this entire time until he moved his hands. Of course that nervous habit was stopped the very second he was conscious of it and he took to smoothing out the plush cotton underneath his fingers instead. “Thank you..,” his head bowed in a curt nod.
Then his face went pink and he stuttered for a second, not expecting wank bank to come at him out of the blue. That was Sebastian though! Zipping both of them back to their usual dynamic. As unusual of a friendship as it was, Blaine cherished whatever they were together for that reason above all others. Sebastian could be trusted to drive a wrench into the cogs of a failing machine right before it fell apart. Especially when that machine was Blaine’s brain, wits. Whatever. “I..,” his cheeks puffed right before a woosh of an exasperated breath was blown through puckered lips. “Um. Exactly. Cap provides all of that that you need.” And the boy who could throw around masturbation topics like discussing the weather to his boyfriend a year ago dissolved into a bumbling mess with wank bank. Why? ..Why ask or even think of why? Dangerous path best left untrodden..
“I think I’m okay. With the amount of food we have coming? I should probably wait until after it’s here.” Food seemed like such a far away idea that he completely forgot about til here. Waking up in New York City after what happened, the phone messages, the begging that went unanswered and..the flight home. He’d been numb all day. Eating was the furthest thing from his mind and nothing sounded good anyway. Not even the peanuts that were waiting for him in his seat. Sebastian bringing it up reminded him. Sure, he might be a little hungry now. Maybe starving if he focused on it but he could wait a while longer. “Some more water would be great. Or tea? Tea would be even better. And then maybe you could get comfortable, too? You don’t have to helicopter over me. I promise. I’m not running out the door,” he gave him a crooked smile again and gave the mattress a pat right beside his hip. “And if you stay standing there? I’m going to get a crick in my neck on top of everything. It’s really not fair how tall you are. Have I told you that lately?” It was his attempt to show him he was more okay than he actually was. A joke. A means of making the fretting boy smile. That’s what he needed to see the most.
Just to know that he hadn’t made another colossal mistake.
pianokeysandbowties back up 