“Long enough for the bottle of break at the worst time,” Blaine couldn’t meet Barry’s gaze anymore and settled for meticulously picking at the sofa cushion. If he wasn’t careful? He’d tear a hole in it before long with how badly he was battering the poor thing. “Months? Months, I guess. I mean–what am I supposed to do? I don’t even know what we are.” And it was true. When it came to Barry? He couldn’t tell where they were heading and most times it didn’t bother him because having Barry around in whatever capacity was enough. Until lately. Lately? He found himself holding things back. Feelings, words, himself. Because lately has now become separated into two parts. The parts of his day/night/whenever that had Barry in it and the parts that didn’t.
Those parts were always darker. Because he missed him.
“I mean–what am I supposed to say? Hey. I have no idea what is going on with us but I’m in love with youand even if you can’t love me back? That’s okay because I need you to know how I feel before I lose my—-oh God,” catching up to what he just said Blaine blinked and stared wide eyed up into the colors of green that were now all the shades he loved most. “Sorry–I–um. Sorry.” What did he just admit to? Most importantly? How long was it going to be before he was told what he already knew? That he just made a big mistake.
@ofscarllet said: “it’s okay to hurt & breakdown. you don’t have to be strong all the time.”
Why did he agree to company with the mood he was in? Blaine used to consider himself as someone who was the living embodiment of wears his heart on his sleeve and he still is. Mostly. He can’t see himself not being that when it comes to matters of what his friends were going through. Or what he feels for them. His passions are even there for all the world to see. But? Everyone has their own issues. Everyone’s dealing with life and doing their best to keep their head above water lately. And if he was the one who could barely tread well enough to keep from sinking? No one needed his problems. It was hard to pinpoint a time where he started to be like this. Again. Broadcast one thing while feeling like the other. That lapse of holding things in might’ve been his downfall today. One concerned look from Barry and he was shaking. One touch and there were tears in his eyes. Tossing his hands up defensively to hide behind–Blaine tucked his chin down into his collar and blurted without pausing for air, “I’m sorry. Maybe you should go. It’s only a bad day. It’ll pass. I just need to get my head on right.”
Right now wasn’t the time for such things. Barry had learnt the hard way to cherish the moments he had with people, especially those he cared deeply for. While he might be hard to get rid of, and had the knack of just bouncing back. Not everyone did. So he’ll push his negative feelings aside, it was pointless, and he’d rather enjoy it. Forget, forget, and let go. There’s more laughter that leaves him, looking up with a grin. “You seriously just compared yourself to lint, I hope you know that,” he teased, that grin growing wider. Although, he was rather accurate, Blaine was firmly seated, and wasn’t going to be leaving. Nor was Barry going to make the effort to push him off. As if, ha! Instead, his own eyes had that mischievous glint in them. “Good, because I was going to let you leave anyway,” he uttered, moving a little to nip at his lower lip. Before capturing those soft lips with his own, humming a bit as one of his hands settled on the small of his back. The other nestled in that hair, that he knew was soft, and sometimes wished Blaine would use less gel. He really liked those soft curls.
“I did and I’m not taking it back either. Actually? I’m fine with embracing my lintdom and accepting who I am. So? Deal with it,” he grinned and teased back twice as hard. But– lintdom? What is that even? Blaine had little to no time to think on his latest what the heck? before there was a bite to his bottom lip that had caused a hiss of breath to cut off his ability to speak–or think–coherently. Barry took advantage of a well known weakness. But before he could point that out–there were lips covering his and muffling a pitched groan that tumbled out of his mouth and fell into Barry’s. Blaine’s calves tightened around the small of his back and his hands cupped and stroked freckled cheeks. Fingers in his hair caused his eyelids to flutter black lashes over a pair of rolling back eyes. Definitely not fair at all. Not that he was complaining. Pulling back, half opened eyes peeked open to sneak a glimpse of a wet, open mouth before he upped the ante and bit into Barry’s bottom lip only to soothe the sting away with a sweep of his tongue. “Two can play at that game, Mister Allen.” His voice was lower and barely above a whisper before he merely pecked his lips and grinned daringly. Another quick peck turned into a peppering of kisses. How long would Barry be able to stand it was the name of said game. Let’s see–shall we?
Sees Barry leaning in close and has to swallow past the hundreds of butterfly wings that suddenly start fluttering through his insides. The closer he gets–the longer Blaine holds his breath after it hitches the hardest. ..And then? EW! He laughing and scrunching his nose as he wipes slobber off his cheek. “You know what,” more laughter, “that’s just–so–so you. Adorable..and yet somehow? Gross..” Oooh! Burn!
So far it seemed like the two of them were both stumbling over their words, and given their situation it wasn’t all that surprising. Granted, the speedster had also agreed to doing this– although it still didn’t stop him from feeling nervous about it nevertheless. When he had finally spotted Blaine, and settled next to him. His first thought was that this guy was rather cute, and the bowtie thing just added to it in a way. While alcohol might not have any affect on him, that didn’t mean Barry wouldn’t mind a taste. “Sure, a drink sounds good,” he replied with a grin. Although if the other ended up getting drunk, there’s no way Barry would go further than talking though. He’s not an ass. “I could start out asking if you come here often, but that sounds corny, and a pretty bad pick up line,” he lightly joked. Barry ordered a drink for himself, getting it a few moments later, and took a sip. His eyes looking Blaine over, he had tried to do is discreetly, although he got the feeling that the other might have taken notice of it. “I… have to admit I was kind of worried coming here,” he supplied as he chuckled lightly. “This is my first time doing something like this,and you can probably tell.” Barry uttered, rubbing the back of his head a little, and messing with his own hair. The speedster continued to smile, although a little more subtle. “But— kind of glad I came here actually.”
“Great. Great. A drink would be,” he repeated the word again but catching himself using great a third time midway through made the less than a second it took to finish it feel like a small eternity wrapped up in the ‘t’ sound of–, “great!” Oh boy. Blaine palmed over his mouth quickly jerked a kid-caught-with-his-hand-in-the-cookie-jar smile in place after Barry managed to save himself from his own blunder by easing into a joke. Why couldn’t he have done that?! –You’ve got to be kidding me. Am I that bad at this? Don’t answer. And stop talking to yourself!– “Bad pick up lines are the best. You have to admit the cheesier they are? The better. Especially those ‘fell from heaven’ ones? Golden,” he grinned curiously as the other seemed to watch him more closely. Barry might be thinking he noticed–and he did–but not in the way most people would connect two and two together. Give him a check out? He’s suddenly sitting there wondering if he was going to–or did–blow this even harder than he thought. Then–suddenly–he notices the nervous way Barry’s rubbing his neck and messing with his hair. Holy crap? Barry was as nervous as he was? Was it horrible that he felt relieved and even began to talk easier? “It’s my first time, too,” he admitted lowly. “I think I only had the nerve to do it because I was genuinely curious if you knew it was there. And–and I,” he changed the route of what he was about to say and jumped to–. “I’m glad you did, too.” His drink was mostly ice but tasted he drank it anyway. “What do you do, Barry? You know–other than aspiring bathroom graffiti artist?” Oh! A joke! See? Maybe be could do this!
“Your phone–huh?” Blaine couldn’t stop himself from cracking up. Which he promptly did. Trying to act oh-so-smooth–he ignored the heat spreading over his cheeks and gave the man on top of him a wry smirk broken up by puffs of laughter. “I mean– I could check. You know? Keep it from getting crushed. It’d be a shame if it did..”
Was this really going to happen? Maybe the stranger would pull out– nope, bad choice of words. What he meant was that maybe the other will just say it was joke or just decline. Truthfully, he wouldn’t be surprised about it being the latter. Hell, he was surprised with himself that he was– he was actually will to go through with this. Of course, if it turned out to be some creeper, he’d definitely be out of there in a flash. So far, it seemed like the both of them were being hesitant about the whole situation. Was he sure about this? Had this been a horrible idea? Should he just say no, and be done with it? All of those probably sounded like really good, reasonable options. Instead– “Yeah, yeah I’m sure about this, sorry, I just, i guess I figured no one would really call my number.” It was the honest truth. Barry didn’t expect the slight thrill he felt at the pit of his stomach, biting his lower lip as he thought this over one more time. Before giving the other his answer. “I’ll– I’ll see you soon then, I’ll um, I’ll be wearing a red sweater, and I’ll probably look a little out of breather.” There’s a bit of laughter, “Um– see you,” hopefully. And with that he hung up.
Blaine internalized his groan and let his back rest against the wall. With the way the both of them were approaching this conversation–he wondered if he made the right decision. The poor guy sounded like he was struggling to let it sink in that this was happening. Whatever this was–which it could be absolutely nothing! For all he expected? They could soon be sharing a drink over a bottle of bleach one of them could tip the bartender enough for him to hand over and a couple of rags as they scrubbed Barry’s name off the wall because–though he admitted in he put it there himself–he didn’t sound like he thought he made a good choice doing so. Not that Blaine had ulterior motives wanting to bring it to his attention. Not really. Or did he? A piece of the lonely part of him whispered into his conscience that he knew exactly what he was doing when he dialed the number. And a warning wasn’t the entire reason why. Swallowing thick–he echoed Barry’s laugh. “Y-Yeah. Sure. I–um. Bowtie and a navy blue cardigan. My name’s–.” Wait. Silence. When Blaine looked at his phone? The screen was just his wallpaper. Oh. Barry was on his way--crap! Hurrying back to the bar–Blaine took a seat and immediately ordered another drink. His hand shook when he motioned the bartender over. Better yet? “Make it a double. Thank you..”
“Well, hello, you.” Insert highly suspicious stare and oh reallllly pout here. “Your squishy, huh? I think someone got a little too ‘happy’ at Happy Hour tonight. And I think that someone’s name is Barry Allen.”
He was calmer now, the worry, and fear he felt had subsided for the moment. Barry could focus all day on the negative, on the fear, on what could have happened. And that would be a wasted day. Right now if anything, he should very much focus on the thing before him. Blaine breathing, happy, and in one piece. His heart beating, and the warmth of his skin against his own lips. Hold him close, and offering a smile in return. The action had been tender, simple, but he still hoped that Blaine could feel, understand in that one gesture how Barry felt about him. It was moments like these that he liked going at a much slower pace, rather than rushing through them. There’s a bubble of laughter pushing through his lips, arms moving to warp themselves around a familiar waist. Settling there, and pulling him as close he could given the space they had. “Oh no,” he uttered dramatically, with the slightest pout on his lips, “That’s not exactly fair, what ever shall I do? How am I going to escape?” Although that was the last thing on his mind.
Blaine felt a swell of triumph fill his heart when he watched Barry begin to relax and some of the worry and fear faded. He was so sorry for being the reason it was there. Another apology was on the tip of his tongue but never saw the light of day. Why ruin the slow curve of the moment towards a brighter and lighter mood by reminding him? Barry knew he was sorry. –Let it go. Let us both forget.– Laughing softly after forcing the last notion of I’m sorry’s out of the way–Blaine quickly shrugged. “I don’t know,” he hummed, “I guess you can just,” their foreheads met and Barry was less than an inch away from the most mischievous grin and set of squinted eyes that Blaine could manage. And in his rush to make things okay again? His mischief game was currently at it’s strongest. “Deal with it. Because I can hang on pretty tight if I want to. Like a super determined ball of lint that you can’t shake off no matter how hard you try.” Hang on. Did he just compare himself to a ball of lint? What–was–that–even? Still..the comparison was pretty spot on. But–lint–Really? “See,” he touched the tip of Barry’s nose with the tip of his and his ankles crossed together behind Barry’s back, his right hand grabbed his left wrist and tightly locked it in place. Barry–officially–had a Cling On Blaine. “Not going anywhere.”
Barry was not a confident person. At least not in all aspects of his life. If you got him talking about his science, or his work– then he could go on for hours. Him going out as the Flash? Yup, confident in that area too. Relationships? HA. He truly lacked in that department. Why? Well, considering his track record with relationships, it wasn’t exactly all the surprising. The few boyfriends, and girlfriends he had didn’t last long in college. Becky Cooper? Short lived in high school. Linda? He broke up with her in hopes of being with Iris. Patty? She left, his own fault honestly. And Iris? Rejection was something he had grown accustomed to by now. He even had a fling with Snart at one point, the teasing that he preferred older men had only recently died down thank goodness. So, obviously him taking this step was big for him, and he had hoped for something positive.
Feeling the other’s lips against his own, feeling Blaine respond was more than enough for Barry to take the hint. He couldn’t ignore the swooping sensation he felt at the pit of his stomach, and the soft hum that escaped him. A hand on the shorter’s waist, the other cupping the back of his neck, deepening the kiss, and shortening the distance between the two of them.
Blaine kept trying to tell himself that this was a fluke. Barry wasn’t actually falling for him. In the months that they knew each other–there were plenty of times where Blaine wondered. Hoped that he was. But it’d been a long time since he let himself see anyone looking at him the way he thought he saw Barry stealing too-long-lasting glances. Warning! You’re going to lose him if you keep hoping for the impossible! That he gave up and kept the idea locked away. Mainly–out of fear his trend for wishing to run miles and only getting feet before he was the one picking himself up from the fall on banged up knees while the other person was too far gone to reach was somehow and he didn’t know why or when it happened–permanent.
That’s why the shudder he felt move up his spine hit him so hard that his hands grasping Barry’s shoulders and the arm around his waist was so desperate and needful. Not the buzz, not the way Barry’s hand on the back of his neck made him swoon into the touch as he tentatively nudged the other’s lips open for a deeper taste. Just the sudden realization that maybe his hope wasn’t so out there. That’s all. His heart wasn’t expanding by the millisecond and in a swirling dance with his stomach. No–definitely–yes. Yes it was. Especially when his tongue found the warmth inside Barry’s mouth more intoxicating than any shot he swallowed tonight.
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