Cooper’s eyebrows shot up as Blaine suddenly blurted out everything, he’d known that Blaine wasn’t himself, but he wasn’t quite expecting that. Still, he’d offered to help, and he was still working on being the big brother that Blaine deserved, so he made a mental vow to do whatever he could to help Blaine get through all of this. “Okay…” he said slowly, picking up the two mugs and carrying them over to the table in the middle of the room, gesturing for Blaine to follow him, this wasn’t a conversation that imagined they could have standing up.
“So when you say chaotic, you mean…?” he was a little ashamed to admit that he didn’t know the entirety of what was going on with his brother right now, he knew he had that competition the next morning, when Cooper was planning on showing up show his support, but everything else? Yeah, he didn’t have a clue. He picked up his mug, taking a small sip from it, though he kept his eyes fixed on Blaine, studying him the entire time, “You know you’re going to kick ass tomorrow, you were born to be on that stage, you don’t need to question that, ever. But, everything else? That’s just life, Squirt, none of us can predict what’s going to happen, we just have to ride it out. But you don’t need to keep it to yourself, don’t bottle it up until it gets you like this, you hear me?” he reached across the table, placing his hand on top of Blaine’s and giving it a little squeeze.
Sitting down facing Cooper, Blaine lifted his bare feet and pressed the backs of his heels against the lip of his chair. Knees bent and shins braced to the edge of the table, he wrapped one arm loosely around his knees and stretched the other out as far as he could. Fingers up, a slight curl to them was a silent plea for a touch or anything close to it that he could get to feel connected to someone who’d keep him grounded. The world felt like it was slipping away. Like at any moment, the floor could open up and he’d fall in and end up tumbling head over heels in a dizzying forever. Because that’s what every night felt since he lost Kurt. Why? He was so stupid and ruined them. That’s why. Half his friends were gone. The place he was drawn to return to because it felt like home, when McKinley felt like a haunted house he had to walk through the halls of day in and day out, seemed to be crumbling apart at the hands of a psycho. Instead of fixing it, of fighting for the place he loved, he went back to McKinley. Essentially turning his back on people who meant the world to him and needed him because what the hell were they becoming?
And that was only the dark part of the iceberg. The stuff above the surface? The smaller things? Were so stacked on top of each other that he felt like they could reach the sky and disappear into the clouds. “This isn’t like me. I know,” the touch he was waiting for came and he clamped his hand around Cooper’s tight holding on for dear life. “I talk about my problems. I don’t get this way. Or so everyone thinks.. How am I supposed to ride this out, Coop? I don’t even know what road I’m on.. I’m..I’m lost. For the first time in over a year. I feel..,” his shoulders shrugged hopelessly in time with the word, “lost. I’m trying so hard to find my way back again. I will. I always do. I’m just struggling right now. That’s all.”