Strong fingers wrapped around Blaine’s wrist, making up for the lost contact he had instantly missed. His eyes were fixed to the ground, as the events from the past few minutes flashed in pictures in his mind. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to… GOD, he wanted to but his head always spoke louder than his heart. It was how he was raised. His Father always told him that would make him a man. It was almost INSTINCT to grab Blaine by the wrist, to hold him in place and to stop him from leaving. They had definitely gotten themselves into a messy situation already, and Hunter was unsure how much better he’d feel if Blaine did leave. He would be left alone with hi thoughts, something he knew would keep him up ALL NIGHT.
“STAY.” It was so quiet, Hunter barely even heard it. He breathed it in a whisper, and finally his eyes moved from the floor to lock with Blaine’s. There was suddenly a feeling of weakness, of need. All things Hunter was unfamiliar with. Maybe he wasn’t what Blaine wanted, but hell, in that second he didn’t care. Maybe he was only a stepping stone to help him get over his ex, but in that moment he would be anything that Blaine needed him to be. “Stay.” He repeated. “I don’t want you to.. Go.”
Stopped in his tracks–Blaine blinked down at the hand holding his wrist then turned enough to run his gaze up Hunter’s arm and directly into his eyes. The confidence he exuded every time he performed with the boys he’d come to miss and ache for so bad that he’d have done anything to be near (and finally had that opportunity) was gone. Unsurety, hurt and confusion was left behind turning the rims of his eyes red and glistening. Blaine didn’t make a movement to pull his wrist free from the strong grip holding him in place. He only bit his lip and squinted, head tilted as he tried to figure out what Hunter really wanted. Words were one thing. Stay. Go. The truth was something he was starting to believe he had to see instead of trust in.
“What do you want me to do? I don’t understand. I don’t want to make any more mistakes. Not here. With you or at all. I can’t ruin this place when I just got here.” His greatest fear. That he’d make a mistake and Dalton would be filled up with regret and ghosts he couldn’t escape either. There wasn’t much he wouldn’t do to prevent that from happening. Even if he had to keep everyone at an arm’s length and be a little lonely (but happy) like before when no one was looking. And everyone’s sunshiney golden boy when they were.
hunter would have kissed him again. there was a want deep inside of him, that his body was begging on acting on, but he decided against it. there were so many thoughts running around his mind, that he found it hard to focus on the BROKEN boy in front of him at that moment. hunter prided himself on listening to his head above anything else. when it came to.. romance, it wasn’t exactly his speciality and he did everything in his power to avoid it, if he were truthful. love only had negative connotations for him, and it wasn’t something he wanted to get involved in. of course, with BLAINE ANDERSON in such close proximity, his head was in a serious battle with his heart, but of course it was one that his head won.
he couldn’t believe he had been so reckless. being selfless for once, he was actually more concerned about blaine’s feelings that his own. blaine didn’t deserved to be toyed around with after everything that he had been through in the past couple of weeks. hunter wouldn’t be able to face him if he had made it WORSE in any way. hunter’s hands moved to blaine’s shoulders, where he gently pushed so there was at least a few inches between their lips now. “ i… ” however he said it, it wouldn’t come out right. he knew that, but he was trying to be as delicate as possible with blaine. “ you’re hurt. you.. you don’t want me, this. not really. i think you’re missing kurt, and i’m here, and that’s okay. really. ” he insisted. “ i don’t mind, but i just wouldn’t want you doing anything that you would later regret. ”
For the next several excruciating seconds, Blaine hinged on every breath, every twitch of Hunter’s mouth or eyes. Any change of expression. Or shift in the way Hunter looked at him. Lost, nervous hazel searched back and forth, back and forth over the Warbler’s face. His answer came in a pair of hands, that were surprisingly gentle to anyone who would have taken Hunter at surface level, resting on his shoulders. His heart leapt and he waited to be pulled in. A gesture he’d have to wait a lot longer than he thought if he wanted it to happen. Being pushed back slowly, Blaine seemed to lack the control of his spine to resist if that’s what Hunter wanted. And the spark of hope Blaine held inside with bated breath became a candle that lit up his eyes and made them shine again melted at once to its last legs, guttering and dying before going out completely.
“Sorry.” Blaine removed his hands from where they’d rested against Hunter’s knee for balance without him realizing he’d put them there. “I’m really sorry.” For someone who rarely had reasons to say that word until recently, he’d really wracked up the frequent flier miles on how often he’d uttered it in the past several months. Shooting Hunter a smile full of teeth that never truly met his eyes to stop the crease he felt forming between his eyebrows, Blaine pushed himself up via his recently freed palms against his knee and motioned towards the door with a wave of fingers that barely lifted from his side. “I think I should go. It’ll never happen again. I don’t know what I was thinking,” he blabbered. “Thank you for talking with me. I.. Goodnight, Hunter.” Getting out of the room became the only objective he would let himself think about. Pivoting on his heel, he turned to do exactly that.
hunter certainly didn’t expect his evening to turn out the way it did, not by a long shot. hunter wasn’t the most empathetic person in the world. he wouldn’t say he’s good at advice, even though he does try when it’s the right person in need, but one thing he is good at is listening. he just didn’t think that he would be listening to BLAINE ANDERSON and his problems, not that he minded. it was just… blaine seemed to perfectly put together. hunter knew more than most though, that looks could be deceiving.
hunter saw a raw, honest, vulnerable side to blaine that made him seem so much more human. he didn’t know blaine very well at all, and this was the first time they had spent one on one time together. hunter was viewing blaine’s situation as an outsider, and from what he could see, blaine was being far too hard on himself. he had a made a mistake. a serious mistake, which he didn’t condone but he didn’t think it was fair that blaine was being so tough on himself for it. hunter didn’t say much during their talk, but one thing he did say was, “ you need to stop punishing yourself for this. what’s done is done, you can’t change that now. stop trying. ”
now, what hunter found most surprising about the whole situation was the physical contact that he found himself engaged in. he most certainly WAS NOT a hugger, but blaine needed someone, so he hugged back. he hugged back hard, holding blaine as if he were trying to put all the broken pieces back together again. the kisses caught him off guard… so much so that his body acted before his brain could and he found himself pressing his lips back against blaine’s ever so gently. his eyes fluttered closed, and he lost himself for those few seconds. a part of him knew that blaine didn’t necessarily want this, but he needed it. he needed something to help him move on. “ i… it’s okay. if you’re sorry, i suppose i should be too. ”
Blaine could feel a warmth edged with a tingling spark pool in his stomach before it felt like it exploded into every nerve, vein and bone inside before it spread over his skin causing a ripple of goosebumps wherever it touched in it’s wake. He was stuck. Lingering here where they were so intimately close that he felt the warm press of Hunter’s breath with every word the other said after he’d apologized. Ones Blaine found himself hinging on, waiting because they controlled every moment that would spiral into place after what just happened.
Hunter could hate him. Tell him to leave. Worse? Try to kick him out of the only good thing he had. But, he wouldn’t. Would he?
Hunter, in spite of every gut instinct fear Blaine could hear screaming inside his head in his own voice, had kissed him back. However small. However barely there. It’s okay? Thick, black lashes slowly opened. Unsure, his left hand lifted and he traced the tiers of Hunter’s upper lip with the tip of his finger before pressing it against the center of both. “Shh…” Blaine pulled his bottom lip between his front teeth and raked them over the flesh before he whispered. “I don’t..want you to be sorry.” The Warbler Captain was probably right. Mostly. Blaine knew he was punishing himself over and over. He knew he couldn’t change what he did. But lacked any ability to escape his thoughts. Unless he was singing or with The Warblers.
Quite frankly, he was exhausted. From trying and failing and scraping himself back up to repeat the process. He was lonely, too. Worse than the first month without Kurt. Worse than the empty house he was often left in. And he needed to make the loneliness stop. Only for a minute if that was all he could have. Maybe that’s why he hadn’t pulled away and instead docked his nose along Hunter’s, eyes closed and lips dangerously near as foreheads touched. His finger finally dipped down until it rested on the very edge of Hunter’s lower lip. “Sorry’s the last thing I need you to be, Hunter.” Even if he could barely swallow when the memory of Hunter’s lips came in a flashback that made his breath hitch.
The lift in his tone was it’s own brand of plea for something he was too afraid to do again. Please?
send in a ❣ for a random kiss. (roll, 7: a hug + kiss combo
)
Why did tonight unfold the way it had?
Blaine blamed Sebastian for not answering the door, or his cellphone. At this hour? No reply meant he probably wasn’t returning any time soon and he’d rather not go back to his room. Too much thinking was driving him insane. Out of desperation. Or being exhausted of do’s and don’ts, he was across the hall and knocking on the Captain’s door? Hunter let him in. But why’d he ask him what was wrong like he saw through Blaine’s facade of a smile and an excuse of not being able to sleep as easy as the cellophane wrapped lie it was?
Why did Hunter just listen they sat on the bed and Blaine poured out the real reasons why he was unable to sleep. Unable to think. Or breathe. Or swallow? Coming here felt like the true end of him and Kurt. Not New York. Not when he made the mistake that killed them both inside. Coming home? Felt like moving on. It was terrifying and made him ache and want to scream, cry or punch something into nothing all at once. Blaine’s weight was easily supported by his Captain when he turned and both arms wrapped around Hunter for a quick, impulsive hug. One across his chest, the other across his back, hands clenched the side of his arm to pull him close. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have unloaded on you. You barely know me. I swear I’m not a mess. I’m just…struggling.” Hazel eyes full of unsurety searched Hunter’s, Blaine smiled and darted in to press a peck on Hunter’s cheek. Something he would have done to Tina or even Sam but Hunter..? Blaine froze as everything felt like it stopped. The world was sucked away and electricity crackled in the air he breathed that Hunter exhaled heavy and warm against his cheek.
Blaine’s lips lingered and then like he was lured in, the warm wet of his mouth moved lower. Closer, closer to the corner of the other’s mouth. His heart raced and he got dizzy as the velvet skin of the edges of Hunter’s lips touched the corners of his. Hunter could feel Blaine’s lips part, could feel him draw in a breath like he was about to say something and only make the faintest hitch of a noise. Then they paused and he turned his head ever-so-slightly so half their lips covered one another’s. Oh this was a bad idea. A really bad one. Yet, he groaned. Low and weak but the sound was unmistakable as was the silky wet of the tip of his tongue touching Hunter’s lips as Blaine wet his own. “S-Sorry… I.. Sorry.” What did you do?
I am convinced that different people bring out different sides of you.
“ I’ll never hate you, Blaine. I couldn’t. I’ve hit the lowest of lows trying to prove myself to you. I make enemies for myself like a stripper makes one dollar bills. I know what having a dark side means, I know what it looks like. We all have one—- but yours, I’ll never hate yours. Don’t you get it? We’ve both fucked up, but I—- “ he stopped in his attempt at being genuine, furrowing his eyebrows as the words he was about to say got cut off by fear. He wanted to say the ultimate truth, the thing he had been running from in his mind. The thing that made him use Hunter Clarington in the most wrongful of ways. The thing that gave Sebastian the determination to run after Blaine for years. That thing was a thing called love. Sebastian fell in love with Blaine so fast, so hard; ever since then it had been a battle owning up to his emotions. Perhaps saying it would change things, make it all better. But as silence lingered the clouds in Sebastian’s head space masked the sun && he began to think that saying it would make Blaine run away forever. He knew that Blaine wanted him back, but maybe love, && not just like, was only present on Sebastian’s side.
A deep breath was taken, holding it for a moment before releasing it slowly. He began softening his features as he moves away from Blaine’s lips, still close enough to stay intimate as ever. Eyes met the ones staring across from him as he bites down on his bottom lip anxiously, wishing there was a way to look deeper inside of them. If only everything could be a happy ending, but that just wasn’t how life worked && Sebastian knew that all too well; better than most ever would. There was a pain in his eyes because they were so close to something good. So soon to being lost in time, but one little thing kept pressing pause && building up unknown lengths of anticipation. Blaine was clearly still devoted to that certain someone else. Sebastian refused to make a fool of himself, he refused to loose this battle that was making Blaine realize they were perfect for each other. That Sebastian could treat Blaine so well, that they connected on a level that nobody else ever would. They both had grief, && regrets; a dark side. But all at once, impulse took the stage, && Sebastian spit out the statement he had been holding in for so long. “ ——I love you. “
There was no other way to put it. Sebastian had cast some sort of spell on him that kept his limbs frozen. Fingers cupping the back of Sebastian’s neck while the other set twisted into the fabric on his shoulder. Blaine stayed with his heels slightly in the air and his eyes locked on Sebastian’s–even in this closeness that he couldn’t bear to break–as he listened to the taller boy try to put Blaine’s fears of ruining them to rest. Sebastian had one thing so infinitely wrong between them. Try to prove himself? If he was still doing that? It was time to stop. “You won’t? But look at what I did-,” his whisper came out choked and barely there. The knowing Blaine once had in regards to Sebastian Smythe and the man he thought he was had been broken at one point–yes. But they’d gone through so much to rebuild those bridges. Yes–there might be weak spots here and there still. But even they would get stronger in time–hell–they barely existed anymore as it was. “I wouldn’t have come to you if you still needed to prove yourself to me, Seb. Please stop. This isn’t about proving yourself. I know we both messed up.” Blaine leaned closer. Closer. To the point he could practically taste the words forming between his and Sebastian’s lips. The flavor was a mix of the air they were breathing and the taste of their skin blended together. His question was almost forgotten. He was almost there.
Sebastian’s deep breath lulled him back to Earth and the space that was put between them had him crashing down the rest of the way. Blaine slowly blinked and swallowed desperate gulps of air. Navy blue was balled up into tighter fist–Sebastian’s neck supported some of Blaine’s weight like he was trying to get that closeness back. “I know we–but–you what?” –I love you.– Sebastian didn’t need to repeat himself for Blaine to hear it again. –I love you.— The echo of it bounced from Blaine’s memory right to his heart. The insides of his lips were bit between his teeth. He wanted to tell Sebastian he didn’t deserve someone loving him back. That–eventually–he’d ruin that feeling because he was an idiot and messed up the one thing that he promised he never would. Blaine wanted to do a lot of things. Walk out. Hang tighter to the body he clung to. Say it back. God, the longer he stared up at him–the more he wanted to. Maybe it was because he felt like Sebastian just took his wrist when he was about to fall and pulled him to his feet. “Sebastian..” Maybe he was so tired of being lonely for months before and now months after. Or maybe one of those notions to say something he’d felt and cut off so many times. Whatever the reason–the next thing that happened didn’t come from words he was afraid he’d fail at but it came from the same place. The hand holding Sebastian’s blazer tugged him forward–the fingers cupping Sebastian’s neck helped and their lips met again. No timid try. No hesitation. Just a mouth that nudged Sebastian’s open so it could pour every unsaid word inside before he made the regretful mistake of missing this chance that he just didn’t want to fight off for the dozenth time. Not anymore.
❛ You’re gonna squirt me with a water bottle? Aw, that’s a real bummer. I was hoping you’d squirt me with something else. ❜
“Did you just–Oh God–How did I not see that coming from a mile away? With all the money you have? You really should pay someone to patch the hole in the filter between what’s going on in your head and what comes out of your mouth. Some things are better left unsaid. That? That would be one.”
❛ Hey, what’s so wrong about wanting to know what you said? I’m trying to be polite here, killer. But now I sense a slight tone of sass coming from you… Although, it’s almost more hot than the innocent, bashful Blaine I thought I knew. So proceed. Maybe I’ll end up being the one with the boner, who knows. It’s like Deal or No Deal. You could either end up staring at my boner or not end up staring at my boner. ❜
“Because you know what I said. Sebastian? You are two seconds away from me finding a water bottle to squirt you with. I do not have a boner and neither do you. No one is getting a boner. You know I come here every day? Can we please keep getting my morning coffees an unembarrassing experience?”
❛ Oh, damn. My apologies, my hearings a little off today. Can you repeat that a little louder?❜
“A bo–. You’re so sneaky I almost fell for it. No. How old are you? Five? Really, Sebastian? Sometimes I can’t pin down what is wrong with you exactly. Don’t you dare tell me it’s poor hearing either. We both know your ears work fine.”
pianokeysandbowties back up 