“ YEAH ? ” and there’s than unmistakable , beaming smile that could only belong to sam evans . pessimism expected a negative , but optimism wanted a positive response ; he was nothing if not ecstatic about blaine accepting his invitation . he hadn’t called it a date , maybe he should clarify , but he’s far too thrilled to ruin the moment . “awesome ; usually i’d say i’ll stop by at seven but , there’s a gaming convention in columbus this weekend ; the drive is only like half an hour with some traffic , so how about i pick you up around noon ? we can carpool karaoke. ”
Seeing Sam’s smile and enthusiasm was infectious. But it wasn’t the only reason Blaine felt his pulse quicken. Because.. Sam first asked him if he was still seeing Jeremiah (Jeremiah who?) before asking him out. Asking him out. A s k i n g..him..o u t. Was that an ask out? Did that just happen? Was he reading too much? What if it was an ask to? Cause those are completely different. Ask to means friends going to said convention together. Ask out? That had the promise of something else. Something huge. Something like maybe a date. All he could manage was a round eyed, mouth dropped; “Uhhh, yeah! You would have had me at gaming convention but now you’re adding carool karaoke? It’s pretty much going to be the best dayyyy-teever.” Walking out on a limb? A slip of the tongue? Which one could it be?!
there’s a single moment of hesitation ( he seriously thinks about grabbing his dalton blazer and bolting the hell out of there ) , but this was blaine he was talking to , blaine who would let him down easy if he had to . “ are you still seeing that uh … was he a GAP employee ? ‘cause i was wondering if you would be up for going somewhere with me this saturday .”
The end of Sam’s question has yet to sink in as the fact that he’s had zero contact from Jeremiah comes to mind. However he messed up? Getting it right wasn’t possible without a call back. He’s had a couple ideas but no real means to carry them out. Or nerve. “That guy? I’m not so sure he was as into me as I thought.” But he can be honest with Sam. “I guess maybe it’s not—.” Hang on. Did Sam ask him out? Blaine stops abruptly and meets his eyes. His volume drops but the heat on his face rises. Significantly. “I–well. I mean.. Yeah.” Double blink. Stumbling for words only proves he’s an idiot and he rushes to catch the chance before it goes away because his tongue refuses to cooperate. “Yes. Make that yes! A surprised one but definitely…yes.” How’d breathing get so suddenly difficult? Cause what is air?
knowsnavi.
“ blaine , can i ask you something ? ” not that he’ll WAIT long enough for the answer ; its more rhetorical than anything . “ i want you to be honest with me , okay ?”
Blaine’s attention shifted from his coffee to the blond who received a quizzical look. As if Blaine would say no.. Sam should know he could always ask whatever he wanted. “I’ll be honest. I promise. What’s on your mind?” Knowing Sam? There was a universe of possibilities of what he was curious about and Blaine’s small smile said he was more than interested to find out.
“i guess i’m just naturally warm?” bram smiled fingers lacing with blaine’s, his interest flickering from the homework to blaine. he placed his other hand onto blaine’s, in hopes to make it warmer. the worry about homework leaving him, as his eyes flickered towards the television.
when blaine offered, he smiled, letting go of his hands, and taking out his phone. “yeah, i can stay over, let me just tell my mother where i’m going to be.” with that, he types a text, setting his phone down, and going back to holding blaine’s hand.
“Naturally warm? More like a personal space heater if you ask me,” he joked back but having both of Bram’s hands cup his wasn’t something he was ready for. Nor was the way his chest felt a little bit lighter when the contact was made. Blaine was a person who lived off small bits of intimacy shared between him and someone else. Even a simple hug could mean the world to him on a day when he needed it. Heck. Any day, really.
The connection made during the exchange that was the most important part. One that doing without for so long made the world feel colder. Which was why he cherished the heaviness of Bram’s hand in his, the weight of the other’s palm against the back of his hand added in made him smile. And immediately wish it’d return the second it was gone. “Is she okay with it? Because,” he paused when their fingers were laced together again. He arched a brow but smiled a beat later and soon squeezed Bram’s hand as a means of saying thank you. His grip settled into a gentle hold. “If so? I say that’s enough homework for the rest of the night since we have all weekend to finish it up. Sound fair?”
I don’t want to look. That’s the whole point of me STARING at the band, Sam.
As a matter of fact? Blaine had been going out of his way for the past ten minutes to not look or even turn his head in the general direction of the woman Sam was so curiously asking about. Until, you know, his avoidance slipped and hazel eyes darted in her direction. She was waiting for him like a shark. Her smirk over the rim of his glass said one thing and one thing only. You know. When paired with the way she lifted her finger and pointed towards Sam, then him and slowly curled her finger in towards herself. That brow lift to top it all off made Blaine’s insides shudder. We’re talking from head to toe. Not in the good way either.
“Sam? Not sure how to explain this other than yes. As in. I think she’s checking us both out. Did you not see that? That’s the third time…” Once in response to his polite smile when she caught his eye. Another time when he’d glanced in her direction because she put herself in between his line of vision and the band and he caught sight of her again without purposefully seeking her out. Third time? As in now? She probably thought he was interested. “Please tell me you noticed that time. Or am I making that up in my head? Maybe she wants me to get your attention and send you over there?” That could be it?! Maybe? Possibly? If there is a God? It was.. Someone needed her free liquor supply cut off sooner rather than later.
Sam’s lips were warm and soft. The kiss was a gentle plea that begged Blaine to stay.
How fall could look so beautifully different from one state to another, especially when those states weren’t very big, was something that if Blaine had come here with Sam six months ago? Would have captivated the former Warbler and had him falling in love with his favorite season all over again. The smell of leaves, crisp air and campfire smoke should’ve lured anyone who remotely enjoyed autumn (and Blaine was far past that level of adoration) into sheer bliss ferried there on the wings of a symphony of crickets or on the backs of bouncing bullfrogs ribbiting their way to points unknown. Sparks danced up inside the heatwaves of their campfire, twisting like blazing fireflies towards the starry blanket of blue black above their heads. Blaine Six Months Ago would have been in heaven. God. Blaine Six Weeks Ago would have, too.
Blaine Tonight? Well, he wasn’t sure when nudging one of the logs with their iron poker and sending cinders spiraling up, higher and higher had gone from appreciating the warmth that flooded over his face to..this. Somewhere between calling up to Sam with a ‘Yeah! Wow! How many is that again–?’ and watching something burning into nothing but ashes (just like Erased People, like him)–everything began to slip away. The world went dark and all he felt was that God awful clawing at his throat. By now, whatever caused that feeling, should have a face to warn him when it was coming. Because it hurt and it was drowning or suffocating or both depending and always tasted like copper and gross blended together.
“Sam..,” but his voice was disconnected and he wasn’t sure if it made a sound at all.
Then the fire was shadowed by a towering figure that soon dropped down onto his knees and cupped his cheeks, had Blaine wondering how someone could have such big hands and deciding he was infinitely grateful that Sam did because they pulled him back to the planet, back to reality, back to Sam so many times they needed to be big because anything smaller wouldn’t be able to catch him this many times without letting him go already. He didn’t realize he was crying until Sam was using his thumbs to dry his face. Blaine tuned in then. Completely and wholly staring into Sam’s eyes trying to read them deep enough to find words the blond might need to hear so he would be comforted and know he was making a difference even if it didn’t seem that way.
Okay. It was going to be okay. Sam was making his promises again and Blaine never had the heart to tell him differently. So? Instead of talking, he wrapped his fingers around Sam’s wrists and gave him a reassuring squeeze. It was easier to lie with a touch. Made it, somehow, less of a verbal contract like the one Sam made him promise the first night. One that if he betrayed, wouldn’t be on Sam’s life as his best friend dramatically put it.
Sam’s lips were warm and soft. The kiss was a gentle plea that begged Blaine to stay. To trust him and to know that he was loved. Blaine had watched him draw in near, felt his heart and time come to a standstill when he realized what was coming. The initial shock drew in a sharp gasp through his nose and his grip only tightened, holding Sam’s palms against his cheeks. His red brimmed eyes went round before slamming shut and there was a moment where Blaine froze as his mind rushed to catch up with what was going on. Something stirred in him, the need for Sam to believe him. The desperation that someone would keep him finally broke free with the promise that Sam would was soon pressed against his mouth in return. His gravity went upside down and his heart must’ve leapt to his throat this was real and solid and..
Sam’s lips were warm and soft. The kiss was a a tender plea that begged Sam to believe that he would.
Making the decision to leave McKinley and return to Dalton might’ve been impulsive. Something he blurted at his mother over the phone the moment he walked through the door after the incident at the park with Sam. But it was the only choice he had. His gut was twisted with guilt and hurt and (even if he didn’t deserve to feel it in Sam’s eyes–maybe his own, too, considering the guilt part?) anger. None of this was supposed to happen. He couldn’t have known Sam would be returning back to Ohio. As far as he knew? Sam was gone for good and he spent half a year stitching up his heart from where it’d been torn apart when he watched the U-Haul disappearing down the road with Sam in it.
Blaine understood why seeing him with Kurt hurt Sam. He got that. What he couldn’t understand was the anger he saw on Sam’s face and heard inside the words that were pretty much spat in his direction before the other about-faced and left him sitting on their bench with his mouth open, words failing him and his heart breaking all over again. Pain. Yes. Understanding that would be easy because he hurt, too. But he never thought he’d see that expression on Sam’s face directed at him.
Hurting him was something Blaine never wanted. Would never do on purpose. He never stopped loving him. They didn’t end on either one of their terms. Feelings don’t go away when someone is ripped from you. He had to wonder if Sam knows that. Does he? Deep down past the pain and disappointment.. Sam still believes in him? A little? Maybe some distance and space for him to breathe might make him calm down. A break from the hurt of seeing him and Kurt together could be the only way to fix them. If fixing them was possible. Thinking it wasn’t and he’d ruined things forever simply because he’d, finally, taken the step and moved on? Breathing became difficult at the idea he only ruined things worse. No, he did what he had to..
Didn’t make leaving hurt less. Or stave off his guilt for lying to Kurt about the reason why either. He should have just told him the truth from the start. Because once you’re as deep into the mess that lying in the first place got you? More lies just keep piling up. Lesson learned the hard way. Because this was never something that he never would’ve done if he’d given himself time to think. Holding a freshly cleaned navy and crimson tie in his hand–Blaine sat in the living room chewing his lip and praying that sooner rather than later things would start to get better.
Her eyes became hard as s t e e l as she glances over at the other. She could feel the air turn c o l d e r around her as her withering gaze found theirs and her fists c l e n c h e d at her sides with the vice grip that turns her knuckles the p u r e s t of white.
; ; ; “ Nothing is OKAY, so stop telling me that. Nothing will EVER be okay… again. “ she b r e a k s off, her voice breaking at the end and her gaze, though still h a r d, softening with the weight of the tears in her eyes.
Blaine understood the girl’s frustration, hurt and most of all her ANGER. Because he experienced every single twist and stomach wrenching, drop-you-to-your-knees feeling she is going through. And, sometimes, he still does.Telling her that wouldn’t help her. It’d only make things worse knowing that as time passes the ache might dim, dull, and fade. Even turn to happiness and delight but there are still storms to weather that build into hurricanes you can only stare into the eye of when you realize how unhelpful you are to yourself or anyone else.
To be able to actually affect someone standing in front of him. That can listen and let you have hope knowing you made them smile. That’s what gets him through his dark. Maybe he could help her get through hers? “I know how it feels to hurt. I know how it feels to be so frustrated that you feel it burning inside your veins. But,” his fingertips lifted from the water in the birdbath he’d been playing with to wiggle the water droplets off. “You’re not alone now. You have me. I don’t know how much that means to you but I’m not leaving you. Okay?”
Chilly air was supposed to cool him off and sober him up. That was the plan anyway. Or so the lights coming on at the bar and him needing to walk some of this off before he called a cab said. It’d been hours since he walked out of McKinley hell bent on getting obliviated and forgetting this entire day and, damn, the drinks worked but now that he was left with his thoughts? Like gravity decided to throw him a curveball by a reminder of everything he was aiming to let go? He ended up walking several blocks down..Kurt’s street.
The more he thought–the more he had left to say. Bowtie dangling loose at his neck–Blaine fought to finally untie it and even messed up his hair in how many times he kept running his fingers along his scalp as frustration built up and boiled over into anger. No. Their conversation wasn’t done. –How can you expect me to forget everything when I know you’re here. The second time since..and the first you didn’t tell me because you were doing me a “favor” I didn’t need!– Oh! That was only one of many things he had to say to his ex-fiance’.
He meant to get his attention. That’s all. Wobbling as he stood up with the small rock he grabbed from a crumbling sidewalk, Blaine stopped in front of Hudson-Hummel’s and staggered as he took aim at Kurt’s window and chucked it stumbling forward as he let it go. Problem? It wasn’t the right house. Nor was it the small rock he grabbed but a chunk of stone from the pavement. Moment of sobriety a second too late? A pitched, hiccuping scream echoed a CRASH that shattered the window and took the curtains off with it. Billowing white fell from the window and landed on the lawn Blaine stared in horror, fingers touching his upper lip at the hellish nightmare he had no chance of waking up from because..this was real life.
“Hello–Barry? My name is Blaine. I know this is going to sound weird but–I thought you’d like to know that I’m standing in the bathroom at The Stonewall Inn in East Village? Okay that’s nothing special–give me a second? Unless I’m very mistaken? Or you know this by now and don’t mind? Your name is written underneath a ‘for a good time call’ in a stall here. Although effective, I’m sure? I don’t think that’s a usual way for someone to pick up guys? Unless it’s your thing–then by all means–hang up on me before I embarrass myself more than this call already has.”
pianokeysandbowties back up 