Sebastian simply loved to test limits and loved to make a storm out of nothing if he had the chance; Even if it was just the slightest gust of win. That was that and it was the way it’s always been. It’s quite hilarious how after all these years Blaine had picked up a bit of skill on how to control the hurricane of snark and sass that was Sebastian Smythe with things like the god damn
Time Out™ chair. For Sebastian it was just too fun to give up the games he plays to see how flustered he can make people. Knowing he was being a troublemaker made him get excited in several senses of the word. So next, what does the asshole do? A smirk perks up on his lips and he raises a brow while arms are crossed in his seat on the couch. ❝ Oh, come on. I don’t bring it up that much. Being over dramatic once again, Killer? I can’t say this comes to me as a surprise. And I don’t have a thing for it I just find it to be extremely funny since my overpowering sexiness has warped you from bi-curious and questioning to the gayest bottom bitch alive… ❞ Then he does the dumbest thing he can but it’s just the natural childish Sebastian way he resorts to. His tongue sticks out at his boyfriend and he flips up a middle finger just for him as well. But through it? He’s grinning still the whole time. Wow, Smythe. You take the cake for being mature and kindhearted.
A completely stupefied look greets the latest dish of snark served up by his boyfriend. Seriously. Sebastian was well on the way to un-earning his Mr. Right mug Blaine bought him for their anniversary. Could he replace it with a Mr. Cranky Pants one? Did they make those? Maybe he could order one on the internet custom made for the King of Cranky sitting down the couch a ways from him. And they hadn’t even gotten to the part where Sebastian just treaded yet. Blaine was considering that option when Sebastian called him over dramatic. Welp! They were there now! Sebastian achieved his ultimate goal! You know? To piss off his boyfriend. Hazel eyes darkened and narrowed as he stared at him from their corners. “Bi-curious? More like bi-questioning–if that’s a thing. And that didn’t last long. As far as gayest bottom bitch goes? Did that middle finger and classy tongue stuck out at me gesture come with a gift receipt? Because I’d like to return them for something else I might like better. Like, say, a little less jerkish boyfriend? That’d be great.” Rolling his eyes–Blaine glances back at his iPad and picks it up again borderline questioning if he was going to just put Sebastian on his own personal ignore list for a bit. Until he decided he was bored with getting the wrong attention all day when he could have been getting all the right attention. If he didn’t turn into whatever this was.
Sebastian is loving pushing his limits right now. It’s a pretty fun game to distract from the fact that he wants more coffee and also is debating throwing the time out chair off the balcony. So he stops glaring so much and instead grins a bit as he stares mischievously at his boyfriend. ❝ Two words. Hell and no. I don’t really want to get up right now and go torture myself with the knowledge that somehow you of all people managed to bring up ex-methods to solve my so called ‘behavior problems’ and put me in that dumb chair of silence! Instead, I could continue teasing you about your weird morning fan fiction habits. I mean you read space porn but instead I could just be sucking your dick right now. Who needs plot lines when you have orgasms. Literally makes less sense than that time you and Rachel made out at a party and somehow that made you question if you had the hots for her pre-Broadway, My Headband singing self. So no. Nobody is counting to ten. ❞
If that chair goes off the balcony? There’s going to be another chair later. Think of it as real life version of that The Cat Came Back The Very Next Day song. Only with a chair. That’s how determined Blaine was about the Time Out™ chair. He’d even use one of their joint credit cards to pay for it. Just so Sebastian knew every time he paid the bill that he was chipping on for his least favorite thing in the history of things. The saving grace of Sebastian’s next outburst was the mischief in his boyfriend’s eyes. There was something in that look that always made Blaine’s insides melt. He never fessed up to it because Sebastian didn’t need anymore weapons to use against his willpower (he had dozens) but that look? Made him dizzy. Instead of swooning though? Blaine was about to laugh when he countered back with, “What do you mean? Me of all people?” Thank God he put the iPad on the end table. Because he would have dropped it if he was holding it. “I almost said to hell with the fanfiction but then you had to bring that up? Again,” he grinned lightheartedly, “What is it with your thing about my drunk, teenage make out session with Rachel?”
Of course Sebastian was in a snarky mood! How could Blaine possibly blame him? He was feeling the slight rise of snark coming on before this conversation due to lack of sleep; Sebastian needs his sleep or he gets cranky. But now that the threat of all threats was made he was full on raging with ultimate snark! Usually Blaine only suggested that when Sebastian was being mean to others and hurting the well being of many or one! Wait, was he doing that now? Pouted lips and dangerous daggers for eyes, Sebastian completely ignores the comment about the chair and makes sure not to look at it but instead keep his eyes on Blaine. ❝ You can go sit in it, you bossy, nerd-porn loving diva. That’d be fun for you. You could stare at the wall and imagine it’s some Star Trek fuck staring back at you. ❞ he tests with an evil smirk beginning to pull at his lips..
The fact that Sebastian has categories of snark and ultimate reasons why that coincide with the Threat of Threats™ being made should be proof positive that he without a doubt deserves his Time Out chair. Why it was created in the first place–also–goes hand in hand with that very reason. And–most importantly and most hated by his other half–why Blaine won’t let them get rid of it. Not to mention that the Time Out chair was invented by Blaine Anderson himself and he found it not only quite effective in teaching Sebastian when to reel it back. But! Entertaining as hell. Most of the time. Others? Well.. Let’s see how this unfolds. “What’s up with the look of death?” Bowing his chin towards his collar–Blaine gives Sebastian a deadpan stare over the top of his iPad before gently tucking it onto the end table beside the couch. Placing both hands in his lap–he patiently corrects the first error in Sebastian’s statement. “It wasn’t Star Trek. It was Star Wars. Second,” he hums, “Does someone need to count to ten?”
Sebastian’s stare instantly jumps to his boyfriend’s face to find that evil eyebrow lift! Sebastian furrows his own brows instantly and makes a dramatic effort to close the magazine he was reading and throw it off to the side on the coffee table. ❝ You. Wouldn’t. Dare, Blaine… ❞ he grumbles, glaring. No way! Blaine was obviously joking. The both of them together had ruled that out as a complete NON-efficient method! It was actually such an efficient method. Why is Sebastian such a man child at times? The world may never know.
Watching Sebastian’s antics and not laughing was almost asking too much for someone who had yet to finish off his morning afternoon coffee. Last night was a late one… “Oh. I. Would. Dare, Sebastian…,” Blaine quips up from the corner of the sofa he was nuzzled into with his iPad and wake-me-up dose of AO3 fanfic. You’d think with the reason why last night didn’t end until the sun came up that someone (Sebastian) would be in a much less snarky mood. You’d think! But you’d be wrong! No worries. Setting him right with the Threat of Threats™ was easy peasy. “Try me. Your chair’s looking awfully lonely. It’s been a while.”
❝ I think the one who wears the collar fits much better in the doghouse. ❞ And there goes the worlds biggest devious grin into action. Don’t test Sebastian Smythe.
❝ That’s simple logic. ❞
“So what you’re saying is it’s time to bring back Time Out?” Blaine swallows thickly and crosses his arms. “If we’re going by–you know–simple logic,” he gives his boyfriend a quizzical, playfully expectant eyebrow lift. Oh! Blaine will test him! So hard–Sebastian will think he’s in school and the teacher just shouted ‘pop quiz!’ to wake him up from an impromptu desk-nap time!
❝ And why is that? Because not only do I cope with a raging Diva from day to day but I also cope with a complete jerk? Ah, yes. You know my struggle well. So considerate, baby. ❞
“Wow. You always say such nice things to me. I love you, too. Keep it up. Apparently someone wants to end up in the doghouse again tonight. I’m starting to think you like it there.”
❝ Hey babe, get over here. You won’t believe this, it’s the strangest thing. I’m reading a book called My Boyfriend Is A Raging Diva and it really reminded me of you. ❞
“Oh really? Sounds like a fascinating read, Sebastian. You should try reading the sequel when you’re done. It’s called Living With A Complete Jerk: A User’s Guide To Coping. Totally reminds me of you.”
Widened, unamused eyes focus at the chewed up shoe lying on the floor. He had pair upon pair that looked just like them, but it was the fact that he had been trying to tell the dog no for weeks and yet he still came home to another possession with teeth marks on it. Slowly moving his stone cold stare upwards, he sees the little devil that had been brought into their home by Blaine Anderson himself. The longer puppy dog eyes stared up at him, the more he hated how easy it was to dismiss his disobedience. God dammit, Perry was so cute. Why did he have to be so cute? It would be so much easier to scold him if he wasn’t adorable. Blaine will just have to handle this one. ❛ Blaine, get in here. ❜ he shouts from their bedroom, trying to refrain from sounding furious.
Blaine sat on the piano bench humming low and tap-tapping an ivory key trying to figure out a melody he couldn’t get out of his head. A trickle of notes that were becoming something but he wasn’t sure what–yet. It was right there. On his fingertips. Almost. Another tink, tink but above the sound came an unexpected interruption. Shouted in a tone that made him cringe. Sebastian’s ‘I’m holding anger in by trying to try not to sound like I’m holding anger in–yet I’m shouting’ tone. Sucking in a deep breath–Blaine groaned and slowly stood. He didn’t do anything but someone did a bad and that left only one other person. Perry. “Oh no.. Please no.” Dragging steps carried him down the hall like it was the Green Mile. Gravity pulled his attention to the mess of a former shoe and the bowtied Corgi bumbling over with it hanging from his mouth. “Uhm–Perry–,” he peeked over at Sebastian. Nose scrunch! Pleadingly wide stare? “On a scale of one to ten? How mad are you and how much trouble am I in?”
pianokeysandbowties back up 