“… Yeah. Let’s just… Cab.” Sebastian’s voice was rough as he tried to swallow it down and motioned outside with a short nod, press of lips, and that small commiserate pop of jaw that tugged his lips down of whenever he – if rarely – sourly admitted defeat. there was no victory against Blaine, there never had been. Sebastian was screwed the moment Blaine walked into that rehearsal room, or even before that, the moment someone said his name, Trent maybe, Blaine Anderson, and for a moment, an entire group of boys perked up, time slowed down, and faces lit up with an admiration that made him feel empty. He’d been hungry for more of Blaine, to fill that void ever since. Because as used as he’d been with people in awe of him, his whole life, no one had ever looked at him the way those boys looked like when talking about their ex leader, and at first it’d made Sebastian want them to. And then, after meeting Blaine, after getting WHY, it’d just made him wish, every day, that Blaine would know he was THERE. For more than five minutes, or a quick text.
This part was sickeningly easy, and maybe that was the worst of it. A hand fell on the small of Blaine’s back like breathing, a comfortable distance, enough to be friendly, and Sebastian quickly guided him outside, before they could gather anymore unwanted attention. A few more steps, a quick text to one of his on call cab drivers, and before he could think about it, one was parking in front of them. Sebastian opened the door for Blaine, second nature at this point really, and waited for him to go in before slipping in, himself, and giving the driver the right address. As the car took off, he was already booking them a room in his phone. And once he was done, he just stared at the screen, lost.
He felt numb.
When had he got here? It doesn’t bother me if it doesn’t bother you. He wanted to laugh. Only it did. It did bother him. When Blaine had first come knocking on his door that night, Sebastian had thought the worst of it was knowing he’d finally chosen to cheat, and decided to do it with someone else, that he wasn’t even attracted enough to Sebastian for THAT. He’d been wrong. This was worse. Even if he didn’t fully understand why yet. He didn’t reach out. Didn’t try to touch, though he glanced at him, as the cab rolled through Westerville. His green eyes small with doubt, thin as his lips, and the skin between his thumb and curled forefinger. He pinched his nose and cleared his throat as the cab stopped. “We’re here.” He paused and looked at him. “You sure you wanna do this, killer?” He might not be sure what they were going to do, but he knew Blaine and he knew whatever they did, or didn’t do, Blaine would carry it with him for the rest of his fairytale life with Kurt. And as much as Sebastian hated the thought of their perfect marriage, he didn’t want the fault in it to be his, either.
Relief flooded in when Sebastian mentioned a cab. As short lived as it was bound to be given this entire, messed up situation–Blaine needed just a little more time. Just a little more selfishly begged for and reluctantly given time. He’d taken so much of Sebastian’s time already. Wasted it on friendship that maybe couldn’t last past the the things they did that Blaine promised himself wouldn’t ruin them. That they promised wouldn’t tear them down to nothing and it had. Hadn’t it? Looking at Sebastian’s profile, seeing the way he caved in defeat for something that he used to give so happily because being around one another as friends was better than being without each other period, was all the confirmation he needed. A blind man could see that much without barely a glance. They were ruined and if this was goodbye? There was no way in hell Blaine was going to say it in the middle of a coffee shop. Not like that. Never.
Being guided by Sebastian’s hand, Blaine followed where he was lead. Glad to be away from anyone listening or watching, hesitant eyes shifted their glare towards the cement and up to Sebastian’s mouth again. Was it still pulled tight? With the paper thin line between his lips and burrowed brows? Yeah. It was. What was horrible was that the looks that Blaine used to feel his soul come to life when he was given them were long gone now. Blaine couldn’t remember when the last time Sebastian looked at him so teasingly, so happily, and with that devil may cry charm mixed with just enough ot raunchy sarcasm that Blaine felt his head spin dizzy from excitement instead of starting to throb at the temples sharp enough that the leather and coffee smell inside the cab made him nauseated. Sure. Blame it on the smell. Another lie to believe. Like the one where Sebastian wasn’t doing this because he wasn’t wired to say no to him.
He felt sick.
Blaine didn’t do anything to break the silence during the ride. He’d gone from watching Sebastian to the color change of his fingertips as he dug the edge of his left thumbnail under the right like it was the most fascinating thing on the planet. A sharp gasp and Blaine jerked his head towards Sebastian. Surprised, round eyes blinked like he hadn’t realized the car came to a stop and they arrived until Sebastian spoke up. Killer. His bottom lip shoved itself against it’s match and he swallowed a golf ball sized lump in his throat. “Y-Yeah. Let’s go inside. Don’t have to stay long. I promise. I just need..,” clamping his mouth shut, his gaze shot towards the cabbie and then to Sebastian and he decided he’d wait until they had their room to say anything else. Judging by how wobbly his tone was? The former Warbler might need the break from talking anyway.
pianokeysandbowties back up 