it’s not unqueusal (queue) – pianokeysandbowties back up

meme continuation. @samsreckoning

A pillow pushed between the headrest and the window made perfect place to lay his head as he listened to the twang of a guitar playing softly from the speakers on the dash. For close to an hour, Blaine watched the desert scenery blow past the car. Endless miles of empty landscapes marked up with dustbowl thriving cactuses and tumbleweeds from bushes that hadn’t seen water in months and didn’t seem to mind one bit. He wasn’t sure what state they were in anymore. Texas? No. They were past the state that stretched out forever. Weren’t they?

The view outside the window only seemed to change by the occasional oil drill, rusted out town, or little burough in the middle of nowhere that must’ve been made into an actual place to stop by people who got stuck there somehow. Or the sun falling and darkness so deep that it looked like the stars touched the ground if you squint hard enough to see. But it was the perfect place to be because the world they were in with nothing but the road, a dotted yellow line and miles of nothing between them, nothing short of another planet couldn’t look anymore different from Ohio than the desert outside Bloomfield, New Mexico did as Blaine pulled the blanket that’d been pooled in his lap up over his chest and drifted off.

He came to when the last sad guitar riffs played out with Garth’s voice singing words that dug so deep into him he couldn’t help whispering soft against the glass ghosting it in a puff of gray with the heat of his breath. “Do you love me?” Of course, Sam was right there. Answering without Blaine having to repeat himself. How many times could someone need to hear it back? Need to hear that things were okay? Better than okay? They were together. Alone. Miles of asphalt and stars above stretching out to infinity and beyond and he still needed to hear it one more time. Please tell me when it gets annoying. Though Sam wouldn’t ever get annoyed by it. Because that’s the kind of person he was. The kind of person Blaine should have..

‘You know I do.’

They should’ve had this kind of beginning a long time ago.

“Me neither. Ever.” Pinkies linked, the promise was made and sealed. Blaine’s weight shifted towards the light tug and when their gazes connected, he nodded his thanks for the reassurance. Sam had this strange ability to know precisely what he needed. What tone to use, what words to say, when to touch him. All of how he needed to be brought back to Earth came as easy as breathing to the blond. It was a tough job to take on. Blaine knew the initial reason why Sam slept only when he did and barely that for the first couple weeks they were gone. Why he hid the sharp things unless they were using them to cook and why there was only pepto, dramamine and tylenol in the glovebox.

He owed Sam not just his mental state but maybe he owed him for still being here to see miles of dark so thick that it looked like the stars were falling to the ground on the horizon. Who knew if he would have done what Sam was the most terrified of? But Blaine was beyond grateful for at least being around for the chance to wonder about it. About life. About stupid things like the orange glow of streetlights they were driving towards which meant the restaurant had to be within a close enough distance that it wouldn’t hurt to keep their hands laced together even though he settled back into his seat from their shoulders lightly knocking together.

Out of nowhere, Blaine laughed. It was quiet and mostly shook his shoulders and made his face light up but it was a laugh regardless. “Definitely a no bueno type situation. I don’t think that cows are going to exist in space. Space cows might. What if they worship them, though? Then no space cow hamburgers for sure. What if it tastes weird, too? Like chicken or fish or..who knows? Aliens probably eat some fish flakes, like you said. Or fruits that don’t make sense. What if they don’t eat at all? Then what are we gonna do?” He blinked enjoying the mindless chatter full of imagination and fantasy. It was what got them on the silly notion to start driving West in the first place. His mother wasn’t too thrilled with the idea but she let him. They’d deal with the schematics later.

“Yeah. Let’s stop. We’ll get some milkshakes for dessert and coffee for the road. I’ll drive for a while. Let you get some sleep. Fair enough?” Sam wasn’t Superman. Close but not quite past the need for sleep yet. “While we eat we can check out the map. See if there are any sights we need to check out in the morning between here and Nevada. I heard there was some sort of Biggest Ball of Yarn or something like that close by. Can’t beat Henry’s Rabbit Ranch though. Totem Pole Park tried and failed.” The tip of his thumb swiped back and forth over the side of Sam’s hand. Anywhere they went was okay with him. As long as they kept on going.

kurt.

_{We were kids.}

_{The words still echoed through his brain as glasz hues followed the other’s movements through the waterworks, a sound strangely soothing as wool fabric brushed his skin. It was all so unexpected. Blaine’s physique for the most part unchanged yet different. Older. Wiser. Perhaps a little more rough around the edges. A clear indicator of the years they had not been a part of each other’s lives, had been each other’s anything, if not the faintest of living memory. He wasn’t sure how it started. Why it began, and why, even after all this time, butterflies managed to swirl around in his stomach.}

_{First gentle; uncertain. Unsure of any consequence or implications, caught by surprise by the sudden closeness and betrayed by his emotions. Eyes falling shut while fingers were left to run past the small of his neck and rested there. Then easy. Effortless. Like finally coming home after a long lost battle — tearstained cheeks left to glow softly under the sweet caress of his palms and his insides no longer hurting. Finally rid of the pretense. Something he had both coveted and managed to hide and lock away for so long he couldn’t help but wonder whether it was all just vivid imagination.}

_{Maybe it had been the simplest of gestures. Of being offered warmth when everything else just seemed so hopeless. Maybe it was the fact that in spite of their differences, their many challenges, Blaine remained nothing but civilized; just as he always had done, as though perhaps, deep down ( save for a bunch of soon to turn gray hairs ) nothing had changed. That somehow fate had finally intervened and brought them back together.}

_{❛ I’ve missed you so much—- ❜}

Perhaps it was the many years gone by that had him missing the signs for what was about to happen. Mixed with Kurt crying making his stomach sink. Or his notoriously poor sleeping habits were currently in the our goal is to mess with you on the daily basis phase. But he didn’t catch on (some habits must have a way of repeating themselves even years later) to Kurt’s intention until their mouths were within a breath of one another’s. All at once his head filled with the sounds of tornado sirens going off. DANGER! Run for cover! Because the storm of the century was right on your doorstep. Just about every which way would be the wrong way to go and yet? Here he was. Instead of making a break for the storm shelter? He ran out to embrace it by letting their lips touch. More than touch. He kissed him back.

A slip that he was bound to make. Caused by a weakness that would always be there suddenly being exposed and made raw from the place he’d wrapped it carefully before sealing it away inside of. One that was glaringly apparent he’d always have for Kurt who he adored more than anything, anywhere, anyone else once. But he felt that familiar tingling rush of something he dared not put a name to dance along very nerve, seep into every inch of his body as he breathed the same air, the tastes of their mouths became one and even if it was in the direct line of a disaster tearing straight towards it? Home could be found right here as if it’d been waiting for him to walk right back in like he’d never left.

Loneliness was something Blaine was never good at. He could function in it. Live and breathe in it better than most would give him credit for. Or be able to do themselves. He could turn it into music and melodies that poured from his lips and fingertips. Didn’t make the nights any less quiet when he was alone. Or fill up a part of him he’d kept under a careful watch since.. well.. ’maybe I don’t!’. Nights with strangers was easier than…feeling his heart fill with hope. Tasting it on the tip of his tongue and leaning towards it because he could feel it in a pair of arms that were holding him. Feel it in the hitch of Kurt’s breath and his soul ached to reach out and find the piece that matched the hole inside of himself he’d filled up with just existing.

Their foreheads met and he swallowed thick.

“I missed you, too. You know that. Right?” DANGER! Indeed.

torrance.

^{TORRANCE’S HEART ADMITTEDLY flutters, and she grins beamingly at her classmate. ❝ your secret is safe with me, just so long as i get to learn from the best ! i really would like that, though. i mean, if you’re free and stuff, say… during lunch ? ❞}

“Good. Because you have no idea what it’s like to be at the end of a Rachel lecture. No one deserves that. They’re the things nightmares are made of.” The twinkle in his eyes said he was playing. But was he? Sort of? Over-exaggerating? Not really. He’s been there to watch them happen and knows firsthand he never wants to be on the receiving end of one. Ever. “Lunch would be great!” He fell silent for a beat as an idea struck then blinked out of it. “What are your plans this weekend, too? Just curious.”

we’ll do it anyway.

“Alright.” Sebastian opened the door and got out, waiting for Blaine to do the same, as he had already paid the cab on his phone. He shoved one of his hands in his blazer’s pocket and watched as Blaine stepped out. Sebastian remembered the excitement the first time something like that had happened, and how his heart had been leaping. Even then, though, there had always been a sting. The sting of Blaine’s embarrassed withdrawal, whenever Sebastian crossed the line in any semi public place. The sting of Blaine’s panic whenever his phone rang or as much as buzzed. The sting of the mornings – or even the middle of the nights – when Sebastian was left, still warm from Blaine, tasting him, barely cooled down, by a shuffling, nervous, boy, with apologetic eyes.

He’d always thought it wouldn’t bother him. He didn’t take up on monogamous relationships for a REASON, because he believed that if someone WOULD, THEY should be ready to stick to it, and few ever were. He always considered it the committed’s person sole RESPONSIBILITY to keep up their commitment, and not his own when they were already putting it in danger. After all, if someone was eager to commit to their partners, they wouldn’t go to seedy bars, drink, and let boys like him hit on them. But Blaine… Sebastian had watched as every one of their new rendezvous drained the life out of him. As after their each new affair, Blaine would leave more anxious, until the nervousness was even oozing out of his fingertips as he touched him, and Sebastian could taste it in their kisses. That was the whole issue, wasn’t it?

He’d never cared before if someone was nervous, because it was THEIR problem, he’d never cared for them. But he did for Blaine. He cared for Blaine more deeply than he could remember himself caring for anyone else in his life. ~~Except for his mother~~. And to watch each of their new meetings cause Blaine’s light to die, had almost but killed him. It made him feel dirty, and guilty, for daring take something as good as Blaine. Like it was what Blaine was feeling when he touched him, as though they were both blaming HIM for it, and at the end, he just stopped enjoying it altogether. There was no room left for it. Just an obsessive need not to see it end. And Sebastian had never been good at possessiveness.

He blinked, as he realized he’d walked Blaine inside and his phone was shoved over the balcony, as the front desk attendant saw to their keycards and wished them a “Happy stay, Mr. Smythe.” He swallowed, trying to get his head back in the game, and grabbed the cards, as he nodded to Blaine and put a hand on his upper back again as he guided him to the elevator, dreading the silence that immediately set in as they got inside, and the doors closed, leaving them alone with the heavy static air between them.

Blaine stepped out of the cab having squeezed the side of his phone that he shoved into the pocket of his jacket until he was sure it was shut off. Golden hazel eyes shifted his stare up high to the top of the hotel and he wondered if it might be too late to grab Sebastian’s wrist, step backwards into the cab and they could leave here. Sebastian could go home. Blaine would make sure he got there safely before he disappeared to points unknown leaving only a trail of departing red tail lights and a thousand unspoken apologies in his wake before fading off. It’d be fairer to the one person in this whole mess that deserved only good. And that was the person standing there looking at him, waiting for him to follow along because Blaine had, apparently, lost his ability to stop hurting him months ago. If not longer. Maybe that’s all he ever really did in the long run. Hurt him. Even their good times were laced with ache.

Being ladened with guilt was as a familiar sensation was what it felt like for the warmth that filled his belly when Sebastian took the lead with a hand on his back and walked him inside. Another testament to how twisted and wrong everything about them became. When something so horrible can be as equal of a feeling as the good so they fit together in a terrible seamlessness? How could he have stood by and let this all happen? Been the catalyst for it, even? Has he always just been this way? Capable of this? Careful what questions you wish could be answered wen the answer is so damn…awful you don’t want to know. One more elevator ride. One more closed door. And he’d never do this to him again. No matter what the cost was.

The elevator rose up each floor in an agonizingly slow ascent made worse by the silence and stupid canned music playing overhead. Not loud enough to make this any less uncomfortable than the quiet was turning it into. How was he supposed to open his mouth and say a word when he wasn’t sure that if he did do that? Stopping would be impossible. The risk of anyone coming in and interrupting kept Blaine’s mouth closed the entire ride up. His hands were kept to himself by lacing his fingers together because the temptation to reach out and take Sebastian’s kept digging in deeper and deeper until his insides were twisted around the idea.

He got so good at staring at the floor that it took another touch for him to realize that the ride he wished would end was over. The doors pulled open and once again, Sebastian was the one to take the lead towards a destination Blaine knew he was dreading more with every step. But he couldn’t not go. Why? Because Blaine asked. They were inside the room and he barely cleared the door before he came to a sudden stop. “I’m sorry I did this to us. I’m sorry I made us become something that felt like this when it used to be something so good. I never wanted to hurt you. But I did. Over and over again but I’m,” his voice broke and he finally made eye contact, “sorry.”

mysrybled:

_{i never did a follow forever but i just want you guys to know you all mean the world to me . you make my days brighter and give me something to look forward to and idk what my life would be w/o you guys . so i just wanna say thank you to a few people in particular .}

_{@mieczlw / @taeted / @igvch / @mkvch / @disregardsorders / @shroudedheart / @girldenial / @stuartwcmbly / @avcntgarde / @pianokeysandbowties / @marveliing / @elataan / @voidworn}

bram.

“i guess i’m just naturally warm?” bram smiled fingers lacing with blaine’s, his interest flickering from the homework to blaine. he placed his other hand onto blaine’s, in hopes to make it warmer. the worry about homework leaving him, as his eyes flickered towards the television.

when blaine offered, he smiled, letting go of his hands, and taking out his phone. “yeah, i can stay over, let me just tell my mother where i’m going to be.” with that, he types a text, setting his phone down, and going back to holding blaine’s hand.

“Naturally warm? More like a personal space heater if you ask me,” he joked back but having both of Bram’s hands cup his wasn’t something he was ready for. Nor was the way his chest felt a little bit lighter when the contact was made. Blaine was a person who lived off small bits of intimacy shared between him and someone else. Even a simple hug could mean the world to him on a day when he needed it. Heck. Any day, really.

The connection made during the exchange that was the most important part. One that doing without for so long made the world feel colder. Which was why he cherished the heaviness of Bram’s hand in his, the weight of the other’s palm against the back of his hand added in made him smile. And immediately wish it’d return the second it was gone. “Is she okay with it? Because,” he paused when their fingers were laced together again. He arched a brow but smiled a beat later and soon squeezed Bram’s hand as a means of saying thank you. His grip settled into a gentle hold. “If so? I say that’s enough homework for the rest of the night since we have all weekend to finish it up. Sound fair?”

elliott.

It’s funny, really – here Elliott was, constantly fighting the idea he was an IMPOSITION on Blaine. The idea that he was less than, nothing but a quick fuck like he’d been told he was again and again, that people had made him feel over the years – even people he trusted immensely.

He’d grown into that far, FAR too young.

But Blaine felt so similarly, and Elliott knew they both just needed a little more LOVE, a little more reminding and attentiveness. They both needed a partner like the other, and it was evening out into something altogether more BEAUTIFUL.

Once Blaine had turned, Elliott’s hands snaked around his waist, chin gently resting atop his partners shoulder as he just looking him over for a moment in the mirror.

Then hands were sliding up his sides, Elliott tip-toeing up behind, across Blaine’s shoulder blades with an affectionate pressure, ending their journey in his hair. Complete with another playful little TUG at the curls.

“Don’t look at me, look at you.” The hands that made their way back down, so full of gentle, loving touches that held nothing but affection. That made Elliott’s point without ever having to use words: Blaine was BEAUTIFUL, and so perfectly IMPERFECT, and Elliott only wished he saw half of what he saw in him. That Blaine could view what Elliott did in that mirror.

Blaine sighed as he relaxed back against Elliott’s chest. Feeling his chin press against his shoulder, he reached back to push his fingers through Elliott’s thick hair not once blinking out of fear that he might break their eye contact. Mirrored or not? Elliott had a way of making him breathless with that sort of stare.

Until he broke it and Blaine watched as Elliott looked him over. With a curl of his fingers against his scalp, Blaine slowly pulled his hand free and rested it on top of Elliott’s forearm. Now both rested there, holding on and making sure Elliott’s hold on him didn’t falter.

Their quiet was nice. Simple and without a need to fill it up right away. He shifted as Elliott did, letting arms fall loose as his eyes closed with the touch over his shoulders. Heaven. It felt like heaven and Blaine bit into his lip when the lengths of Elliott’s fingers buried into his hair.

A tiny curve of his lips let him keep his not so playful reaction to that tug more of the playful sort and not groan-worthy as it might’ve been had he not caught himself. The stupid expression was still there when Elliott’s voice drew his eyes open and his breath caught cutting off his initial protest. Instead? He listened. Slowly. His gaze shifted from Elliott to his reflection with his loose curls hanging near his eyes and he quickly decided he probably needed a haircut.

Goosebumps prickled up in the wake of Elliott’s fingertips and he tilted his head at himself. Blaine understood what Elliott was trying to say without words and it was beyond sweet. Beyond kind. Typical Elliott but something Blaine hoped wouldn’t change. “Thank you,” he whispered letting his head rest against the slope of Elliott’s neck and collarbone. “Thank you for being you. And for us.”

lcstones.

Hudson had sheet music in front of him as he moved around the house. He’d been home alone, his mom and step-dad went back to New York to take care of some business – taking Lucy with them, and he was taking advantage of being home alone. He’d had all the emergency numbers in case anything happened. And Rachel had given him strict instructions to make sure he got his chores done. He’d been working on learning the new song for glee club while cleaning.

Brown eyes looked at the sheet music as he sat it down as he started vacuuming the living room before belting out the song that he was supposed to be doing a duet with Caroline. “I’m nothing special, in fact I’m a bit of a bore. When I tell a joke, you’ve probably heard it before. But I have a talent, a wonderful thing cause everyone listens when I start to sing,” he sang before turning off the vacuum before turning to see Blaine standing in the doorway.

“Hey, did my mom send you to check up on me?” Hudson asked running his fingers through brown locks before putting the vacuum away before walking back over to the place he set the sheet music down. “Actually I could use some help with this song. It’s a song for glee club. We’re doing it as a duet and I want to get it down. Unfortunately, my duet partner is unable to work on it today.”

Kurt and he had another two weeks left in Ohio before New York City called them back. Rachel asked them to check in on her son and it was the least he could do. Hudson was a great kid. Spending time with him was one of the best perks of being his mother’s best friend. A few bags of groceries were left on the kitchen counter and he followed the sound of Hudson’s voice.

Blaine stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed lightly over his chest. His lopsided grin couldn’t be helped. The longer he watched Hudson, the wider it got. Not wanting to interrupt the spectacle of a glee club rehearsal mid-vacuum sequence. Hazel eyes twinkled as they wrinkled at their corners. Could this kid get any cuter? The answer was no. Seeing him brought back memories that made his chest grow warm.

A brow jerked up when he was, finally, noticed. “Hey! Yes. She did. Just to see if you needed anything.” Blowing out a breath as he stepped down into the living room, he pressed his lips together and hitched his shoulders. “Sure. Just give me a part and we can rehearse until you know you got it. Deal? So,” he rubbed his palms together in anticipation, “Where do we start?”

sircolfer:

top five blaine anderson solos | 1. somewhere only we know

meme continuation. @inthequiver

( mssg » sebastian | sent ) Me tooa. little. Waty mor ethan drunk is probaly better.

( mssg » sebastian | sent ) this isn’t a bootty call ok? or a booto text. ITs’ more than that. i Needed to talk to you. Befoer I get sober enoguh to not say what I need to say.

( mssg » sebastian | sent ) Onlyt alking to you. No one else,.

( mssg » sebastian | sent ) Thank you somuch Youre the best

( mssg » sebastian | sent ) I’m at Lantern’s KEep. Its not too much trouvble is it?

[ five or more minutes past the delayed message ]

( mssg » sebastian | sent ) of course