Barry didn’t get to be like this often, as a speedster it was difficult, and the repercussions weren’t exactly all that enjoyable. But after what happened the past few weeks, he needed this. They needed this. Time together, to just be themselves. That’s was all. He loved Blaine’s kisses, he loved it when they held hands and walked down the street while laughing at their lame jokes. He enjoyed cuddling him, laying next to him, and sex was pretty great. The speedster’s only felt this type of love once, but it never came to be. And at some point, he might have mourned that missed opportunity. But as he hummed letting his tongue press against Blaine’s finger in his mouth and a teasing suck. Mischievous, indeed. Dancing had left their mind a while ago, the world had zeroed down to just the two of them. Laughter leaves him again, and Barry shrugs his shoulders with that far too smug smile on his lips. “I mean, I could play fair, but….” his eyes trailed down his lover’s body. Meeting those honey colored orbs that he could get lost in, “I think you like it when I’m not always nice.” Okay, he might be sobering up a little.
Blaine’s heart was pounding from how he played himself by nudging the length of his finger between those lips just a horribly, spine jittering knuckle or so deeper. Left in the aftermath of what waited for him when he did, he kept his distance trying to ignore how Barry was looking at him in a way that made him want to step back in and do it all over again. In spite of the fact they were on a dancefloor in a room full of people who Blaine seemed to forget were there. Good to see that he wasn’t the only one though. Barry seemed just as smitten and in the moment. Not so gone that he lost his ability to taunt him. Blaine’s eyes narrowed playfully before rolling ceilingward in mock exasperation. “You wish. Also.” It was Blaine’s turn to give the taller of the pair a measuring up and down look as he tentatively closed in again knowing full well he had to be ‘careful’ or his play was going to wind up with him being on the ‘losing’ end. Nudging Barry nearer with a hand on his waist, Blaine pressed a kiss just above his collar. “I am pretty sure the same can be said about you, too. So? Should two play at this game? If so? I think it’s time we excuse ourselves, hm?”
Blaine sighs as the tension built up from a day where nothing seemed to go right melted away in a matter of seconds when he leaned back against Barry’s chest. He smiled at the kisses peppered against his cheek. One of those toothy sorts of lovestruck, cheeky as all get out kind of smiles that said Blaine Anderson was stupidly in love with such a small, affectionate gesture. Oh. And the person behind said gesture, too. Maybe.
“Hey.” He smelled the flower before the scent drew his eyes open. Glancing down at it, he sighed and shook his head gingerly taking it and wriggling around to come face to face with his boyfriend. “Can you get any sweeter? Of course I missed you,” he stole a kiss–the first of several meant as a thank you for the flower and kisses and just being Barry, “I always do.”
He’s not blind to it, not anymore, Barry had remained oblivious both on accident and by choice. And he was at fault for the state they were in now, that much he will admit. The speedster had kept a distance from Blaine, while they found each other– he never stopped running. Being with him at first was amazing, but as Barry’s life became more dangerous. Distance. His soulmate was kept at a distance. It was putting a strain on the both of them emotionally, and it needed to stop. It had to. Barry… Barry always wanted to find the one he was meant to be with, always thought it was Iris till she met Eddie. Platonically, the two matched, but romantically. Someone else for the both of them. Then he met Blaine, and the world was so much brighter. Smile gone, and his heart aches. Because he soulmate thinks he’s a problem, he was never a problem, it was Barry. This was his fault.
“Blaine,” brows furrowed, lips pursed and squeezes his hand tightly. “Blaine, you are not a problem– never. This is my fault, I’m the problem here I should have never.” Takes a small breath, resting his forehead against the others and nudged their noses together. “I’m….I’m SCARED of losing you, of you getting hurt that I’ve been pushing you away,” shuts his eyes tightly. Look what he’s done, he caused him pain and worry that Blaine didn’t deserve at all. Due to his lack of expressing his emotions, the fear of losing a loved one, abandonment, and failure. “I’m sorry… Blaine, I’m really sorry…” He had to fix this. Had to.
Blaine wanted to believe the promise. It was a hope that came from deep down inside that he’d been hanging onto throughout the ups and downs and tilted sideways he’s been through while waiting for the other to give them and fate a chance. Even though how everything turned out once he’d found the person he was meant to be with wasn’t anywhere close to how he planned it to be? Barry made him feel things that he couldn’t ignore. Made every day without him that went by feel like something was missing. Like it was never complete and he was shutting out the world and going to sleep with something left undone. Or that he was missing a home he never quite set foot in yet but knew was out there, somewhere, waiting for him.
Foolishness wasn’t something he considered himself completely exempt from having in abundance from time to time. He’s made mistakes in the past due to that very thing. Years have gone by and he’s tried to learn. To guard himself more. Because he knew he had to. There was always the threat of feeling too much and having nothing come back. Because when that happened? He had only himself to blame, right? Caution. Hopeful caution. That’s what he felt now. Warily studying the man in front of him before going perfectly still at the apology, Blaine was at a loss for words as his eyes softened and his face fell. “No..” Words, Blaine. USE THEM! “Don’t be sorry. Your feelings matter. Your reasons matter. You’re not gonna lose me, though. I promise. Because I feel like I keep losing you every day and I’d never..” Do that to you. “No sorries. Let me show you how you I’m not going anywhere? Can we just..try that?”
Blaine wasn’t blind, he was patient, and perhaps too kind for his own good. Keeping his walls up, afraid to speak out, to reach out, it was causing more harm than good on the both of them. And while Barry would like to believe otherwise, had been believing it– now was the turning point. If he continued, he’d lose the other just as he lost his previous relationships. Because he wouldn’t truly open up. And at this point he needed to, the cup was close to overflowing, and ready to spill. The fact that Blaine seemed to need convince about his words, it really drove home what Barry had been causing to their relationship. He’s pushed and pushed and push— till finally it was ready to break. But at least this time, this time the speedster wasn’t going to let it happen. There’s enough people in his life that he’s lost, due to death, or of his own making. His boyfriend was not going to be added to list. Not if he can help. Not this time. A promise was a deadly thing, if he broke it, could they survive it? It’s best to not find out. Barry nods, face solemn was he closes the distance between them. Hands grabbing the other’s tightly in his own, “I promise, I’m going to try. I’m not… I’m not going to be running away from my problems anymore. You deserve better than that. We both do.”
Blaine couldn’t shake the wary look that flattened his expression. Funny how over the months it’d changed so much. From where he was when he first connect the puzzle together with Barry and they realized they’d found one another to now? The gleaming eyed, love struck person he was had dimmed. His smile long since faded. Hazel eyes now weighted with caution and exhaustion from running after a soulmate that just…didn’t seem to want him back. His dreams of how this would all happen were long since broken. Now, it was just better to be distanced in spite of everything inside of him pulling him to the man taking his hands trying to reassure him, once and for all, that he was going to try. Try. A small, lost smile echoed the word. Try. Still left room for the chance to say it failed. Or Barry couldn’t. God, he wanted to believe it.
Running his tongue along his bottom lip before biting onto it–Blaine softly squeezed both of Barry’s palms and let his chin tuck itself towards his collar. “Don’t want to be a problem you’re not running away from. I don’t want to be any sort of problem.” Bittersweet hope? Learning what that felt like was a lesson he hadn’t expected. Ever. “But thank you for promising you’ll try. I swear I’m not going to push you anymore. Wherever you want this to go is where it’ll go. Okay?” That’s all he could do. With his heart, Barry always held the whole deck. Blaine could only stand there and watch where the cards were going to fall this time.
Barry was a mess, not a horrible one, he wasn’t unhappy, depressed, no feeling that familiar twinge of guilt and remorse. He was a happy sort of mess. Carefree, and joyful. He’s laughing without a care, and when was the last time he managed to do that? Perhaps before Zoom. Since then it had been difficult, and he knew it caused his lover to worry. Yet here they were, together, with Barry being ridiculous and somehow managing to not fall over his own long limbs. Blaine was being the responsible one, mostly. “W-well, I’m being really nice, I could have said like a thousand kisses! And then you’ll never be able to stop kissing me,but yeah I guess you can pace yourself, I like your kisses.” he uttered with a slight huff. See? Super nice of him! Where he a little more coherent, he’d probably drag his boyfriend away from here, and kiss him. Not stop kissing him till they were back home, and even then more kisses would follow. Accompanied with more– fun actives. But he’s not that coherent right, running and being drunk would not go well for the speedster he knew that much. Despite the innocent kisses, his cheeks flushed more, no longer red from just the alcohol as he blushed. “Um…” he cleared his throat, they just felt intimate. “I think, I think they count– but I should return the favor.” And so he did, but he’s a little tricky too. Bringing Blaine’s hand to his lips, kissing the finger tips, till his smirked. Playfully licking at them, slipping his pointer finger into his mouth. While he might drunk, he was still Barry, and Barry could be a little mean.
Barry could be a carefree, sloppy happy mess as often as he liked. Blaine would never stand in the way of that. Seeing him so content on the dancefloor, the way he was acting like a mischievous jerk by luring him out here among the crowd just to steal some kisses and demand twenty more. Dark eyebrows were shoved together, lips curved into a playful smirk. “A thousand kisses better come with some chapstick. Cause that’s a lot. Even for me to pull off,” he hummed beaming at Barry justifying himself by saying his reason was him liking his kisses. How much more cute of a reason could the taller of the two give? The answer is: None. “They better count. All kisses should count towards a number that high.” Rationalizing the best he could, he waited to see if the other would go for his pitch but Barry threw his own curveball into the mix rather than let Blaine off the hook for his payment of smooches. As color rose up in Barry’s freckled ivory skin, Blaine’s suspicion lifted with it. “What are you up–ohhhh,” he felt his throat close around the rest of the question when his finger slipped past the warmth of Barry’s lips and into his mouth. Welp. Would you look at the dazed Mister Anderson, with his mouth gaped open and his gaze honed in on one sight in particular. A quiet sigh crackled it’s way between them and he nudged it in further. Just up to the second knuckle before his pulse tripled and he gently eased it back out again. Wild blinks and shaken laughter. Blaine took two steps back and smoothed out the invisible wrinkles in his suit coat. “Not fair. Not fair at all.” Wow. Someone needs to open a window..
[ mssg : blaine 🐤] what? I’m completely confused here :c I honestly have no clue. [ mssg : blaine 🐤] because i love you so much? ❤ [ mssg : blaine 🐤] i feel like you’re doubting my skills [ mssg : blaine 🐤] i guess this means i’ll have to start baking and cooking more [ mssg : blaine 🐤] they’re your favorites [ mssg : blaine 🐤] and for you so of course i’m going to do my best
( mssg » barry | sent ) You cheated. All of this is one huge cheat. ( mssg » barry | sent ) I’m not supposed to be forgiving you this easily. ( mssg » barry | sent ) I was planning on dragging out torturing you with pouts and glares for at least a day or two longer.
“How could you do that, Barry? You knew I was saving that for when I got home. I’m pretty sure I even told you that when we bought them. Something along the lines of, ‘This is going to make tomorrow’s six o’clock in the morning wake up call that won’t stop until eight tomorrow night so much better’. I trusted you.” Blaine has to admit that the replacement cronut does look tasty. BUT! That’s besides the point! Barry violated a sacred rule..and thus. Poor Barry! Who even if Blaine was, technically, giving the substitute another glance and didn’t mind too much? Was going to do everything he could to ham this up some anyway and force him to suffer through a hard love lesson on his growing nasty habit of cronut thievery.
Barry was a mess, not a horrible one, he wasn’t unhappy, depressed, no feeling that familiar twinge of guilt and remorse. He was a happy sort of mess. Carefree, and joyful. He’s laughing without a care, and when was the last time he managed to do that? Perhaps before Zoom. Since then it had been difficult, and he knew it caused his lover to worry. Yet here they were, together, with Barry being ridiculous and somehow managing to not fall over his own long limbs. Blaine was being the responsible one, mostly. “W-well, I’m being really nice, I could have said like a thousand kisses! And then you’ll never be able to stop kissing me,but yeah I guess you can pace yourself, I like your kisses.” he uttered with a slight huff. See? Super nice of him! Where he a little more coherent, he’d probably drag his boyfriend away from here, and kiss him. Not stop kissing him till they were back home, and even then more kisses would follow. Accompanied with more– fun actives. But he’s not that coherent right, running and being drunk would not go well for the speedster he knew that much. Despite the innocent kisses, his cheeks flushed more, no longer red from just the alcohol as he blushed. “Um…” he cleared his throat, they just felt intimate. “I think, I think they count– but I should return the favor.” And so he did, but he’s a little tricky too. Bringing Blaine’s hand to his lips, kissing the finger tips, till his smirked. Playfully licking at them, slipping his pointer finger into his mouth. While he might drunk, he was still Barry, and Barry could be a little mean.
Seeing Barry so content with the world around him made Blaine utterly thrilled. There was no weight of the universe behind his eyes that he often glimpsed when Barry let his guard down and didn’t realize he was letting it slip. There was no distance between them that Blaine couldn’t help feeling when he saw walls built up from secrets and stories about his horrible days seeing the worst of people that he couldn’t come home and talk to him about. Unless it was in vague enough terms that he wasn’t breaking the law by doing so. The support systems that Blaine wanted, desperately, to give him were only pieces that he begged, when he was alone, were enough weren’t really needed here tonight. They were safe, together and happy. As drunk as his boyfriend was, he didn’t mind. Not when he could manage them both by keeping himself on the sober side of buzzed so he could lasso him in if he had to. Or laugh along with him as their bodies moved together on the dance floor. Even when Barry teased him as playfully as he did, all Blaine gave was a lighthearted roll of his eyes before smirking and pulling both of their hands out of range of Barry’s mouth. Speaking of lassoing in. “Okay, okay. Slow down, Mister. I don’t this sober you would be jumping the ‘I’m going to suck on your fingers in public” line. Maybe. Probably.” Okay so Barry might but if they were going to go anywhere close to suggestive besides dancing and the kiss that Blaine was on his toes to give just now? Then he wanted Barry more sober than he currently was. Not that it didn’t feel good. Barry knew Blaine’s weakness when it came to that. The devilish man was playing a wicked hand. Blaine just had to trump him a bit higher. His finger that’d been in Barry’s mouth was still tingling when he ran the edge of it along a pale temple tracing the freckles he could find there. “Having fun?”
[ mssg : blaine 🐤 ] I’m not doing anything [ mssg : blaine 🐤 ] i just really miss my boyfriend [ mssg : blaine 🐤 ] Yeah, i found to make the cookies even softer and more moist [ mssg : blaine 🐤 ] I always play fair. I’m just showing you my love. [ mssg : blaine 🐤 ] 😘😘😘😘😘
( mssg » barry | sent ) You know perfectly well what you’re doing! Don’t pretend to be innocent with me. Don’t you dare. I know better! ( mssg » barry | sent ) I.. Why did you have to say that? Ugh.. ( mssg » barry | sent ) I miss you, too. ( mssg » barry | sent ) You promising cookies that are better than your already amazing ones is NOT playing fair! It’s the EXACT opposite!! ( mssg » barry | sent ) Fine. I love you, too. ( mssg » barry | sent ) PS. Those better be some really, really good cookies. 😣
When they first met, Barry wasn’t sure where this would go. Would it lead to something more than just friendship? Would they remain as just friends? The speedster wasn’t sure, but he had taken the leap. And here they were, Barry was more than happy, it was amazing, and it seemed like a dream sometimes. A dream among the nightmares he would sometimes experience, ones he’s yet to completely tell Blaine about. That’s where his guilt laid, the other didn’t know he was the Flash, didn’t know the dangers that came with being with Barry. At first he believed it was merely paranoia, nothing more, and nothings less. He was wrong. Blaine was in danger, and Barry would do anything in his power to protect him. Even from himself. It’s the last thing he wanted. To be separated from the man he loved.
Hearing his voice, it was both soothing, and painful. If he carried this out, this might be the last time he would hear. Barry will no longer wake up to the sound of his voice. The sounds of his laughter, his ridiculous enthusiasm when it came to disco music, or when he sang. He would never get the chance to fall down on one knee, and ask that question he wanted to for the past few months. It made his heart ache in such a painful manner, this was the… right choice. Regardless of how devastated Blaine might be, he deserved so much more than the CSI could give. He’d just bring him down, this amazing sunshine, and he can’t let that happen. It was hard to look up at him, eyes lingering on his clasped hands, fidgeting with his fingers.”Blaine,” I’m sorry, “I’m… moving back, to my old place.” There he said it out loud.Saying the words didn’t make it any easier, and the regret he felt inside just seemed to intensified.
He was about to break his heart, and he didn’t warrant such a thing. Blaine… was such a selfless person, kind, and sweet. Barry didn’t deserve him. “I…Blaine, I love you, but I have to do this,” the urge to tell him the truth, to be honest, it was so overwhelming. Just tell him, tell him all he needed to know. The reason for the nightmares, the reason why sometimes it seemed like he was just drowning in guilt. Be open for once. Green eyes met those indescribable hazel ones again, this was much harder than he originally believed. Could he truly go through with it? “I’m not good for you, Blaine, I’ll bring you down, and you don’t deserve that. You’re a brilliant star, you deserve better.”
”Blaine. I’m… moving back, to my old place.”
He didn’t just hear what he thought he heard.. Did he? Denial was the first sensical thing that could follow hearing something so sudden. So out of the blue that nothing in his world could have lead him to even think that he’d ever hear Barry say anything like that to him. There’s a trust between them. One that ran deep and strong and unbreakable. Because that’s what you put into someone when you hand them your heart. Your devotion. Your world. You let them become your world because the one that was once yours without them was always missing something. That something was them. All along it was them.
So.. You give everything you are to that person (your hopes, your dreams, your plans for the future..cause they’re a part of you and all of that) and they give everything back. Once you hold everything they are in the palm of your hand? You don’t just drop them. They don’t drop you either. They can’t. You don’t wake up one day and stop caring about them. You don’t kiss them goodbye on their way to work like all the other mornings you’ve shared over the years then welcome them home just to say goodbye and snuff that love out like a burnt up match.
You don’t DO that.
That’s why.. The words hit him with the sheer force of an impact so brutally hard that felt like he’d thrown himself in front of a freight train and tried to stop it dead on the tracks. They stole his breath, caved in his throat and he was pretty sure injected themselves into his veins and flooded them with a numb ache. A sensation he never thought existed because of the sheer ridiculousness of until he heard what he never thought he’d ear. How can numb possibly hurt? Well.. It can..and Blaine felt it from head to toe.
“Please don’t keep talking.. Please, stop..” His voice was weak enough that Barry could talk over it easily. Did he even give his tongue room enough to actually speak that? Or did he just think it? He must’ve just thought it. Cause Barry was telling him that he loved him and this was for his own good. Blaine had no idea what good was. Not like this. Not as of ten seconds ago. Cause his good was gone and he was still racing to catch his breath and try to wrap his head around what was happening. There were tears in his eyes. He felt them. Tears and more tears and he couldn’t hold them in because he couldn’t make anything work. Fingertips pressed into the hollows of his eyes, blocking Barry and the world and what was happening from view as he tried to wipe them away and hide. “Don’t do this to us.” He had to beg between the sides of his hands while there was a fraction of an us to beg for. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make you realize that you are good for me. You always have been. I’m sorry I didn’t do enough to show you before.” His fingers spread open and round, watery eyes stared down at him. “I love you and I need you to love me back..and stay. Please?”
pianokeysandbowties back up 