Another one of his visits that stretched far past school hours into the later part of the night. Seems like it was getting harder and harder to will himself to walk out the door and return back to reality. The comfort of the Warbler Common Room when it was only him and Sebastian was something he told himself was over a long time ago. That their friendship, while polite, would never be what it used to be. Until it seemed that fate brought him back here once more. Back to Dalton, back home, back to his friends.
To Sebastian.
Who stood in front of him while he procrastinated leaving for the second time. His heels already swung backwards twice, two steps towards the leather couch he’d just vacated. A handful more and he’d be sitting back down. Not that he seemed to mind as his hand reached out and fingers curled around Sebastian’s wrist. Now the taller of the pair was tugged closer to the sofa, too. His heart felt warmer when he heard he was missed and that name came back to him. The underside of a pale wrist was grazed over with the edge of Blaine’s thumb and his smile softened, his gaze read over Sebastian’s. “I missed you, and Dalton and everyone, too. Keeps getting harder to go and I’ve only been visiting for less than a week.”
( mssg » sebastian | sent ) youcould SAy that but you wrould be wrong. ( mssg » sebastian | sent ) That’s a lie.you’d be right for sure . I think I sould have stopped probably aobut twodrinks ago. Oops? ( mssg » sebastian | sent) Nto a booty call I promise. I woudlnt just text you for one oft hose. If I was going to give you one.
( mssg » sebastian | sent) I coudl call? I just needed to talk to you. Caling is probably better anyway. Typing is not mty strong point at the moment. Why did I turn off auto coreect? ( mssg » sebastian | sent) Oh god Im’ only talking to the guy beside me. Hes nice. and the guyfrom earlier. The bartender is chatty too but I’m sure they are paid to be. Giving you my attention though. ( mssg » sebastian | sent) You will? i’ll ping you. I would love to see you which makes that offer even bettr. ( mssg » sebastian | sent) Hello? did I scare you away? ( mssg » sebastian | sent) Yesmy home of course. IF that isn’t too much trouble. I could take an Uer back int he morning if that’s easeir. Thank you.
I didn’t think you’d want anyone else here. He sighed. He didn’t. And he DID. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t want anyone else there, not Blaine, much less his father. In a way, even if Blaine hadn’t helped the way he’d HOPED for, he still did, distracting Sebastian from being scared about what happened, or focusing on the pain and his injuries. He filled Sebastian’s head with memories and old feelings he didn’t want, but that at least kept him from focusing too hard on the present, made facing this with a blase attitude easier.
He blinked when Blaine moved fast to get the water for him, and more at the way his hands shook as he poured it. ❝…Thanks.” He said, long fingers curling around the cup with a hesitant look up, confused, as he drank, and maybe a little annoyed. Annoyed that he had to do this, that he HAD to remind Blaine why he should be away, that he HAD to be the one to tell him those things and then see Blaine get hurt. He groaned, finishing the cup and putting it aside as he ran a hand through the side of his hair. “It’s not what I WANT that matters here, Blaine —-” was it ever?
He rested back against the bed and drifted his green eyes towards the other, lips drawn tight at the sight in front of him. How was it that he almost died, and still managed to feel like crap because BLAINE wasn’t doing okay? “What’s up with you?” He blurted out, before he could even want to shut himself up. He frowned at him. He watched him grab his coat, and swallow. A mistake. Right. It always was, wasn’t it? Sebastian knew he was right and yet, it stung on the pop of his jaw as he heard him say it. “Little too late for that now, killer.” His tone was quiet this time, almost gentle, defeated.
“…Why?” He asked, just as Blaine reached the door, between his teeth. He kept staring down at his injured hands, tugging on a loose line on the sheets until it started to unravel. “Why ARE you here? Why did you come?” Just to torture me? To rub in my face a crumb of what I’ll never have? Because he wouldn’t, would he? He’d never have anyone ACTUALLY waiting for him in a hospital. Someone allowed to, by family ties. He’d never have a worried fiancé, fretting over him, not like Blaine did and gave. Much less LIKE Blaine. As perfect as him. This, waking up alone in a hospital bed, was probably gonna be the way he’d end his final chapter one day. If this wasn’t a joke from Blaine, it was definitely a joke from the Universe.
“It is about that. I really didn’t want to make you upset. It was a stupid thing to do. I was stupid..” It couldn’t be any more clear that he messed up. In more ways than one. Getting the hell out of here would be the only way to fix things. And he was never one for staying where he wasn’t wanted or needed. Even worse? Where he wasn’t welcome. How could he have thought the opposite? That there could be any other reaction to his being here other than this one? His eyes burned, his throat felt like it was caving in and he just wanted to put as much distance between the hospital and himself than he could in as little time possible.
Flustered and with a darkening shade of crimson coloring his nose, cheeks and bleeding down his neck–Blaine laid his coat over his arm and palmed over his mouth trying to swallow the bitter pill that he’d messed up bad before he turned around and gave Sebastian a weak, wobbly smile. Their eyes didn’t meet. He kept his gaze aimed closer to Sebastian’s mouth rather instead. It was better to smile and go. Then stay gone this time. For good. No more heroics. Even if the universe, for some sadistic reason, put him on the sidewalk when Sebastian got hurt? Walking away would have been better. You know what they say about hindsight..
There’d never a mistake like this made again. Blaine made that promise to the both of them on his way to the door. When he heard the question, he had half a mind to ignore it. What help could the answer give the situation? His mouth opened but only a sigh broke free. His fingertips toyed with the cold metal handle as he pressed his lips together tight and bowed his head. A tap later and his hand fell away, turned into a small fist and was shoved into his pocket. Against his better judgement, he turned just far enough to look towards the bed and Sebastian. I saw it happen and it was terrifying. I’ll never get that sound out of my head.
“Because I got scared seeing you like that. I had to make sure you were gonna be okay. Then when I got here? I couldn’t leave you to wake up alone and hurt. You..” His teeth bit away what he was going to say against his bottom lip and he chose something safer. “I couldn’t say whatever and leave. I shouldn’t have stayed. Or came at all. I get it. But that doesn’t change that I did and for no other reason what I said. I had to because you’re you and I’m me. Do you really think I could leave you there like I couldn’t care less? Cause that’s not who I am or ever was.” He swallowed thick, trying to get his point across without saying too much or too little.
“Alright.” Sebastian opened the door and got out, waiting for Blaine to do the same, as he had already paid the cab on his phone. He shoved one of his hands in his blazer’s pocket and watched as Blaine stepped out. Sebastian remembered the excitement the first time something like that had happened, and how his heart had been leaping. Even then, though, there had always been a sting. The sting of Blaine’s embarrassed withdrawal, whenever Sebastian crossed the line in any semi public place. The sting of Blaine’s panic whenever his phone rang or as much as buzzed. The sting of the mornings – or even the middle of the nights – when Sebastian was left, still warm from Blaine, tasting him, barely cooled down, by a shuffling, nervous, boy, with apologetic eyes.
He’d always thought it wouldn’t bother him. He didn’t take up on monogamous relationships for a REASON, because he believed that if someone WOULD, THEY should be ready to stick to it, and few ever were. He always considered it the committed’s person sole RESPONSIBILITY to keep up their commitment, and not his own when they were already putting it in danger. After all, if someone was eager to commit to their partners, they wouldn’t go to seedy bars, drink, and let boys like him hit on them. But Blaine… Sebastian had watched as every one of their new rendezvous drained the life out of him. As after their each new affair, Blaine would leave more anxious, until the nervousness was even oozing out of his fingertips as he touched him, and Sebastian could taste it in their kisses. That was the whole issue, wasn’t it?
He’d never cared before if someone was nervous, because it was THEIR problem, he’d never cared for them. But he did for Blaine. He cared for Blaine more deeply than he could remember himself caring for anyone else in his life. Except for his mother. And to watch each of their new meetings cause Blaine’s light to die, had almost but killed him. It made him feel dirty, and guilty, for daring take something as good as Blaine. Like it was what Blaine was feeling when he touched him, as though they were both blaming HIM for it, and at the end, he just stopped enjoying it altogether. There was no room left for it. Just an obsessive need not to see it end. And Sebastian had never been good at possessiveness.
He blinked, as he realized he’d walked Blaine inside and his phone was shoved over the balcony, as the front desk attendant saw to their keycards and wished them a “Happy stay, Mr. Smythe.” He swallowed, trying to get his head back in the game, and grabbed the cards, as he nodded to Blaine and put a hand on his upper back again as he guided him to the elevator, dreading the silence that immediately set in as they got inside, and the doors closed, leaving them alone with the heavy static air between them.
Blaine stepped out of the cab having squeezed the side of his phone that he shoved into the pocket of his jacket until he was sure it was shut off. Golden hazel eyes shifted his stare up high to the top of the hotel and he wondered if it might be too late to grab Sebastian’s wrist, step backwards into the cab and they could leave here. Sebastian could go home. Blaine would make sure he got there safely before he disappeared to points unknown leaving only a trail of departing red tail lights and a thousand unspoken apologies in his wake before fading off. It’d be fairer to the one person in this whole mess that deserved only good. And that was the person standing there looking at him, waiting for him to follow along because Blaine had, apparently, lost his ability to stop hurting him months ago. If not longer. Maybe that’s all he ever really did in the long run. Hurt him. Even their good times were laced with ache.
Being ladened with guilt was as a familiar sensation was what it felt like for the warmth that filled his belly when Sebastian took the lead with a hand on his back and walked him inside. Another testament to how twisted and wrong everything about them became. When something so horrible can be as equal of a feeling as the good so they fit together in a terrible seamlessness? How could he have stood by and let this all happen? Been the catalyst for it, even? Has he always just been this way? Capable of this? Careful what questions you wish could be answered wen the answer is so damn…awful you don’t want to know. One more elevator ride. One more closed door. And he’d never do this to him again. No matter what the cost was.
The elevator rose up each floor in an agonizingly slow ascent made worse by the silence and stupid canned music playing overhead. Not loud enough to make this any less uncomfortable than the quiet was turning it into. How was he supposed to open his mouth and say a word when he wasn’t sure that if he did do that? Stopping would be impossible. The risk of anyone coming in and interrupting kept Blaine’s mouth closed the entire ride up. His hands were kept to himself by lacing his fingers together because the temptation to reach out and take Sebastian’s kept digging in deeper and deeper until his insides were twisted around the idea.
He got so good at staring at the floor that it took another touch for him to realize that the ride he wished would end was over. The doors pulled open and once again, Sebastian was the one to take the lead towards a destination Blaine knew he was dreading more with every step. But he couldn’t not go. Why? Because Blaine asked. They were inside the room and he barely cleared the door before he came to a sudden stop. “I’m sorry I did this to us. I’m sorry I made us become something that felt like this when it used to be something so good. I never wanted to hurt you. But I did. Over and over again but I’m,” his voice broke and he finally made eye contact, “sorry.”
( mssg » sebastian | sent ) Me tooa. little. Waty mor ethan drunk is probaly better.
( mssg » sebastian | sent ) this isn’t a bootty call ok? or a booto text. ITs’ more than that. i Needed to talk to you. Befoer I get sober enoguh to not say what I need to say.
( mssg » sebastian | sent ) Onlyt alking to you. No one else,.
( mssg » sebastian | sent ) Thank you somuch Youre the best
( mssg » sebastian | sent ) I’m at Lantern’s KEep. Its not too much trouvble is it?
Sebastian breathed again when Blaine looked up at him. For a moment he thought Blaine would let their song fall flat, would let their steps echo and leave Sebastian hanging and their music would fade and he wouldn’t know what to do next. Blaine laughed instead. It wasn’t nearly as fulfilling as what Sebastian was used to get from him (specially when HE provoked it), but it was good enough, and his own lips twitched mischievously as they shared that look that said Blaine knew exactly what Sebastian meant and how much. “You’d only say it was me out of prince charming habits, Blainers,” the bashful schoolboy routine “and that’s no good manners, really.” He pointed out, crossing his arms and smirking. “And who says I’ll have an older pick up line routine? Once I’m fifty I’ll just aim the same old, gold, me at the seventy year olds, and go from there.” He winked. “Hey, by then, they’ll probably have a solution for every aging sexual issue a gay man could possibly dream of.”
He tilted his head, watching him on the couch and how he ran his fingers over the blanket. For a moment, his head zoned out as he imagined how those fingers would feel smoothing his skin out. The thank you snaps him back and he nods with a light shrug. “What are almost ex booty calls, frenemies, for?” He smiled, softly this time, to show it was all fine. “No worries, killer.” He murmured, then, something about Blaine’s vulnerability kept him stuck in place, afraid to get in close, to actually sit down by his side at first, and he decided to move and set up the movie so he had something to fill his hands with other than himself, and the thought of Blaine’s mochaccino skin.
“Good thing we don’t disagree on that, otherwise I might need to kick you out. It’d be a shame, all that food…” He said, cheerfully as he set the first Captain America in and finally approached the couch if a bit awkwardly. He nodded then, pinching his nose and he was about to sit down when Blaine mentioned tea and he stopped. Right. Shit. He wasn’t sure he knows how to do that. But he could try. He chuckled surprised at the topic as he stopped half motioning outside. He smiled,, his special, crinkled nose, dimpled, Blaine, smile. “Don’t think you have, babe.” He grinned. “Though I’ve been made aware that I have fantastic legs.” He winked. “Alright.” He motioned the remote towards him, before throwing it for him, though admittedly, with some care, and far away from his face. “Set up. I’ll be right back.”
He took his time in the kitchen. First trying to find the tea bags, then where the pans were, only to decide he didn’t really know how to work the stove and it was better to just microwave it. Then he grabbed a cup for it, heated the water, and when he took the bag in hands he stared for a moment, then took a pair of scissors and cut it open, dumping the herbs on the water. He watched as they floated in the plastic cup and frowned, the water seemed to go brown but he wasn’t sure that was right. he mixed it with a spoon but he didn’t remember it looking like that when he ordered it at hotels. Also the water looked too light but he was afraid to dump another bag and screw it up. He grabbed it, along with a pot of cubed sugar and walked back to the living room.
“… Don’t know if this is what you meant… But if you want a shot with that…” he put the cup and sugar in front of Blaine on the coffee table a little awkwardly, and sat down besides him, settling in, and smiling some. “All good?”
Left alone while Sebastian went to make his tea, Blaine bit against the insides of his lips as he stared at and through the television at the same time. His brain filled with about half a dozen excuses on why he should leave and he was so tempted to grab one and run with it. Sudden call from home. Forgotten homework. It was getting late and he needed to go. None of which were remotely close to believable but he wasn’t ever the greatest liar anyway. Who knows, though? With all the undercurrents of doubt and pensiveness that were threatening to drown them both if this lasted much longer? Sebastian might thank him for being the one to come up with a means to put an end to this because Sebastian would never tell him to leave. As of a few hours ago? Blaine had his fill on being where he wasn’t wanted to last him a lifetime.
Or was he making how negative this was up in his head? An aftermath of what happened. His nerves were so frayed that he might read too much into anything that was the slightest bit of hesitation on Sebastian’s part. Of course he was uncomfortable. There were no secrets on how much Kurt and Sebastian disliked one another. Though one side always seemed a little heavier than the other because of how Kurt was wired. But Blaine never faulted him for that. Only cringed inside when he felt like he had to defend himself or Sebastian. Until there were reasons enough for Kurt not to worry as much. Blaine could see how it would be awkward. Giving him advice about Kurt. Being here for him when he was broken hearted over the other had to make him awkward. He wasn’t naive enough to think their conversation earlier was just a-okay fine. So? Maybe that was what was truly wrong? Who knew?
His head was spinning by the time he went against what would bring this all to an abrupt end. But he decided to stay. A truckload of food was on the way. Sebastian was making him tea. Leaving now would be a slap in the face to everything Sebastian did for him. But it still felt so off.
“Hey. Welcome back.” Nothing less than a grateful smile was waiting for Sebastian when he entered the room. Regardless of his thoughts running rampant when he was left alone, Blaine made sure that any seeds of doubt that might be left behind were gone by the time his host returned. Careful hands took the mug in their grip and he sighed in gratitude when Sebastian finally sat beside him. “I appreciate it. All good.” Thank God he went for the sugar and was about to dump a spoonful in when he noticed something just wasn’t quite right..
It wasn’t the way the tea bag was made that no string hung on the side of the cup. Because there was no bag inside. Period. Only floating leaves in tea stained water.. Slamming his lips together didn’t hold in the chuckle that started first with a shaking of his shoulders. Then his eyes scrunched together and his cheeks tinted pink. Screwed up tea might’ve been exactly what he needed to move past nerves and tears and the mess of emotions he was in and outright laugh instead. “Sebastian…? Did you? Was this? Did you empty a bag in the water? Or was this loose leaf? I just..wow. You’re..” Adorable barely covered it. Sebastian. Bless your heart. You just ascended a whole new level of kitchen helplessness in his eyes.
“…Blaine. What are you doing here?” Sebastian froze. He had just been coming back home, take out bags in hands, and he stopped dead on the hallway as he saw Blaine standing there, in front of his doorstep, with what looked like — was that a BOUQUET OF ROSES? And looking like he didn’t know if he should knock or not. Sebastian sighed, something heavy in his chest. Ever since his accident, when he had seen Blaine again, it had been hard getting him out of his head, but he’d tried. He’d ignored Blaine’s call, until the last one, when Sebastian had picked up, and told him — ”I told you. I told you last time, and I meant it Blaine. I told you to either finally PICK” me, finally pick me, “or leave me alone. I meant it.” He repeated, shoulders bunched tight, and eyes braced for rejection. “You can’t be here for that so….” Only Blaine was smiling, why was he smiling?! Sebastian stood there, mouth agape, and for the longest time, he just let his eyes stare into Blaine’s ones. And then a shiver came over him. “You…” His voice was suddenly rough, dried out like his throat with emotion coiling in it like a spike. “You did it?” It was soft, scared still, as though Sebastian was dreading to have any amount of HOPE. “…. You picked me?”
Catch your breath. Don’t pass out. The last thing you need is for him to open the door for work in the morning and you laying there in a pile of wilting roses passed out. “Breathe. I can do this. If I just breathe.” Blaine parted his lips and exhaled slowly, his breath hot across wettened lips that he couldn’t stop chewing on as he stared down at his hand loosely curled into a fist ready to knock but frozen in fear right next to the woodgrain. The roses were held in a careful, tight fist and their smell–however gorgeous in the shop it’d been–was overwhelming him to the point of nausea. He’d made his choice. Felt his heart picking up into a thundering beat against the walls of his chest that drummed louder, louder, LOUDER the closer his steps brought him to where he stood. Unanswered calls. Unanswered texts. And yet.. Blaine made his choice and it was to be standing here ready to lay his heart on his sleeve and beg for a simple yes. Yes, Sebastian still wanted him. Yes, he’d made the right decision coming here. Yes. They could finally begin.
His blood turned to ice when the chance was taken away from him. But then his heart took over and he turned staring up into a disbelieving pair of eyes while the roses touched his cheek velvet soft and grounding. The words stung because they were agony when he heard them the first time but he was still smiling. Looking into Sebastian’s eyes, all he could do was bow his head in a slow nod. “I..,” he had to cough to clear his voice, “I picked you. I want you. Please? If you’ll have me. If I haven’t ruined us. Or waited too long? I want to be here..with you.” All he could do was wait. Biting his lip–he curled his toes towards the soles of his shoes and waited.
“It–what? Oh. You’re going to have to try. Unless you want to be put in time out for the rest of the night?” Bright hazel eyes danced with amusement as he went a few darker shades of crimson over his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Blushing as he may be, the smirk and tone he teased back with was on a whole new level of Blaine Anderson Sass. “Cause that’s a thing and you’re well on your way there.”
❝…” Yeah, I did… Sebastian stared at him as Blaine echoed his words, with a stupefied expression, expecting not so patiently for him to elaborate even though he had a feeling Blaine wasn’t going to. Or that his elaboration wasn’t going to help much. Now that the doctor was gone and he was feeling a little less dizzy, he could see how unusually pale Blaine looked, and a glance down told him he’d been twisting his fingers in the nervous way he used to whenever something was on his mind. But the time when Sebastian used to notice (or care about) those little things was long gone, and he forced himself to look away. It was NOT his job to care anymore, and it’d taken him what? Almost a decade to start jotting that down? He wasn’t going off the rails now.
“I can’t believe you.” He stated, shaking his head. “Yeah? Well, most of us don’t live in romcoms, Blainers, and no matter what those might say, you really CAN’T smile your way into a non relative’s hospital room. I’d know.” He’d spent many a night alone in hospitals, from a kid to adulthood, it wasn’t anything new for him, and that type of movie magic was a little too strong for even Blaine Anderson to pull off. “Of course he isn’t.” He sighed out, then stopped.
“You did?” He’d thought that meant the didn’t know, Shirley Temple, that was, that Blaine had made some excuse, because when it came to Sebastian and Blaine’s gang of muppets he, somehow, no matter the circumstances, always ended up as the excuse. He raise an eyebrow as he glanced at him, before licking his lips. He tried to reach for the table and winced. “Since you’re here. Can you… Get me some water..? I’m freaking parched. The painkillers…” He made a gesture towards his mouth, he was used to that too, having had his fair share of hospital rendezvous. " ‘Throw a wild guess out there, and say they don’t know about the fiancé part?” He glanced at him. He hadn’t even expected Blaine to tell them he was with Sebastian at the hospital, so he wasn’t exactly judging, but still- “Tell me why I shouldn’t tell the next nurse the truth, here.” He said slowly, as he looked at him, not defensive now, just tired. Exhausted.
They both knew where this road lead. And it wasn’t anywhere good. It was beyond ironic that he was the one not willing to “pull the prank” so to speak and fool these people, to tell the lie, to play the part, because in this case, the part would leave him hanging, dry, and hurting a hell lot more than this car accident, and he knew it. They’d done this so many times now. It never ended well. Either one or both of them ended up injured one way or another, and Sebastian was tired. He was tired of having any kind of hope. It’d been years now, but even just being in the same room like that, having Blaine say he wanted to take care of him, that he was worried for him, was already starting to cut him open. “Can we just skip to the end? You heard doctor strange, I’m fine. I’m gonna be great. Thanks… For being here, getting– us engaged and all that jazz. Time to go back to your actual fiancé. You know, that one you took a town over to my boarding school, to propose to. I assume he’s still the one.”
Blaine was obviously not done messing with his fingers. His hands slid out from underneath him, dug at his knees. Knuckles bled to white as he clasped them together, shoved them between his thighs and dug his thumbnails into the fleshy part of his hand just under them on their opposite sides. Later one, there’d be crescent shapes pressed in that might leave a bruise. He was searching for any amount of approval of what he did. For the reasons why. For Sebastian to show him any sign that he was glad he didn’t wake up hurting and alone in the hospital. A smile. It could be tiny. Or laced with some snarky comment that might brush off how much he meant what he was saying. Anything from the pages of their past that might amount to something substantial enough to hang onto.
What he got was anything BUT what he was looking for. ‘I can’t believe you.’ Clamping his mouth shut, he immediately broke eye contact and his lap was instantly locked in his sights. His entire posture sank making him seem smaller than normal where he sat on the large sleeper chair. “I know you can’t. That’s why I lied..” Lifting his chin just enough that he could peek over Sebastian, he nodded. “I didn’t think you’d want anyone else here.” Seems Sebastian didn’t want ANYONE here (including him) but Blaine had the foresight enough to know that Kurt was probably the LAST person on Earth he’d want. Risking what might happen when he got home, he’d warded him away.
Seeing Sebastian wince, Blaine was already half out of his seat when he was asked for water. Trembling hands reached for the pitcher as soon as he rushed close enough to grab it. Water splashed onto the fake wood grain surface of the hospital bed table but he managed to get enough into the cup. “Because I’ll leave without you getting me kicked out of here. If that’s what you want me to do. And it is. I can see.” Once his hand was free of the cup, he stepped back and pressed his lips together. He could see it clear as day when he met Sebastian’s gaze. His hope to be a soothing presence was a failure in the worst kind of way. It was time to go. Staying any longer was only going to worsen the insult he hadn’t meant to dish out from the beginning.
“Okay,” his heart broke in ways it shouldn’t. In ways it didn’t have the right to. As Sebastian said, he’d made his choice. Starry eyed and love struck, he made his choice. What time did between now and then didn’t matter. His throat felt like it filled with rocks that were digging in and tightening up his chest, stomach. One word and Blaine turned, went back to his chair and grabbed his coat from where he had it shoved into the corner and draped over the back to use as a makeshift pillow. What else did he have left to say out loud anyway? Sebastian didn’t want to hear that he was welcome. That he was here because he was petrified he might’ve lost him on the street. That he didn’t want to go and a huge part of him never wanted to leave. Sebastian wouldn’t want to hear any of it. His chance for an open ear died at the bottom of a staircase. Warmth surrounded him when he pulled it on.
“This was selfish. A mistake. I’m so sorry for how I made you feel, Sebastian.”
Sebastian swallowed as Blaine brought him in, but leaned into the affection, his fingers curling tighter on the curve of Blaine’s thigh. Blaine’s blunt warmth and closeness, slowly drove away the cold of the thoughts he’d had before, and the fear that had gripped to his heart as he’d driven home in a rush and only by a miracle hadn’t ended up in a hospital himself. Sebastian Smythe was many things, but he was never irrational or rash, unless it came down to Blaine. When it was about Blaine Anderson, his rational brain turned into a knot, his light heart became heavy with more feelings than he’d care to admit to, and often his emotions took easy rule of him instead of his calculated thoughts. And so he breathed, and he let Blaine caress and hold and touch him, more affection and intimacy than he’d usually allow upfront, his methods of acceptance usually involving pretexts such as their naked bodies twined tight in bed after sex, or minds distracted by books and work in the balcony, a movie on the couch. He didn’t pull away or joke, now, just allowed it.
Each other’s. He knew. He did. He knew NOW, but it was still good to hear it. He still needed to be reminded that he was also Blaine’s family and Blaine needed him too. He stared at him, lips parted as he was held, green eyes glittering with wonderment as they always did whenever Blaine said those words, his pulse thundering. He looked back into Blaine’s eyes and his were open, as they were only for him. I’ve been yours from the moment we met. And wasn’t that the truth? He knew it, Blaine knew it, hell, the whole group of ex Warblers and whole of Dalton knew it. He nodded back, breathless, silent words traded between them as easily as they always had and then Blaine’s lips were on his, and Sebastian parted and shuddered into it. He gripped the sides of Blaine’s shirt tight and pulled him in until they were so close the counter was digging into his own thighs, but he didn’t care, a cold contrast to Blaine’s soft kiss.
He followed Blaine’s lead, as he always did, taking what was given to him, and as he kiss grew deeper, he moved his hand to grasp both under Blaine’s thighs just at the curve of his ass and Sebastian wished he could be one with him like that, drive deep, deep, and never come back. Instead, he pushed his tongue in, searching for that connection, as hard and warm as his lungs would allow. “Fuck dinner,” He growled, once he couldn’t kiss him any longer, ragged breath just over Blaine’s mouth. “Need you inside me.” He groaned as he gripped him tight, and then picked him up, carrying Blaine towards their bedroom and smashing their mouths again. His need far too great to be sated by a quickie over the kitchen counter.
Blaine knew Sebastian preferred other means of showering affection. Or, rather, having affection showered onto him. Because Blaine always had and always would enjoy little touches and pecks and kisses. Where Sebastian was more about bodies covered in a sheen of sweat, hums and limbs tangled together in the afterglow. Not that Blaine didn’t enjoy that form of affection either (oh he did very much), it was only that..in their current state? Reassuring his husband that he was here, safe and sound and still fully alive and in love was all Blaine wanted to make sure he did. More kisses to the crown of Sebastian’s head. A rare opportunity to be the taller one allowing him to dot several against the cool silken strands of hair underneath his lips. “I love you. I’m here. I’d never let anyone take me away from you like that. Ever. Not even a car.”
Oh, Sebastian was his. His, his, his. There wasn’t a shred of doubt in Blaine’s mind that they belonged to each other equally after years of Sebastian belonging to him far more than he allowed himself to belong to the other. Or had he? In ways, Sebastian always had parts of him no one else could have. Because no one else was allowed to see them. Thinking, just for a split nanosecond, that he might’ve lost what they had because of a stupid accident would have killed him. Poor Sebastian drove an entire commute home thinking it. Strong legs wrapped around Sebastian’s middle tighter, holding him in place against the counter he was pressed into so tightly already. They kissed like lovers reunited. Soft and sweet and full of love. Blaine didn’t hold in the soft sigh that he exhaled over Sebastian’s cheek. Nor the sound of delight muffled between their lips.
He was breathless by the time his mouth opened far enough that the tip of his tongue ran up over Sebastian’s bottom lip and teased a promise that it might slip inside to search for his. Sebastian’s grip on his rear made his senses explode in bursts of light through his thighs, stomach and behind his eyelids. God. A simple grab and he felt a throb of ache pang through his frame. The kiss ran deeper, his mouth gave way for it. Two fistfuls of hair were grabbed onto and Blaine moaned almost diving back to capture his husband’s mouth when the other split them apart. “Oh God,” was all he could groan out to Sebastian’s want. If there was ever more of a perfect sales pitch for the taller of the pair to get what he needed? Good luck finding it. Blaine let himself be carried, kissing him with his tongue and teeth nipping his bottom lip until they were in the bedroom. Without breaking anything on the way by some miracle. Without being put down, all the shorter could manage was yanking at Sebastian’s buttons and throwing his torn off tie on the ground. At least he had a bit of a throat to latch his mouth onto. And, like a man starved for the taste of skin he memorized every nuance of, he did.
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